ep 2 Nightmare

"No..... no don't beat me please, I beg you ..... i.... I swear I'll finish all these works before evening please.... I swear". Ivana woke up all sweating and panting. " Not again God please, I thought I'll sleep peacefully without a nightmare and sleeping pills at least for a day but no I was wrong they will not leave me. Hash! Why did I even forget to keep an extra stock of pills.

While looking at the stars and moon a lonely tear rolled down from her chocolate brown eyes.

" Why do you leave me mom and dad ? You're supposed to be with me right? Then why you leave me alone. You're supposed to be with me, to support me, sing with me, laugh with me. You never let me in pain then why now. You never like to see tears in my eyes then why don't you come to your princess when she is crying? Why do you leave me alone".

"It would have been better if you had taken me with you that day. I was waiting for you both wearing a princess gown. Your princess was waiting for you dad, that my mom dad will bring my favorite chocolate cake with barbie on it for my birthday. Mom, I was waiting for the tiara you'd make for me on my every birthday. But you left me all alone for forever. You promised me mom dad you will bring cake and tiara for me, but you left me. I miss you mom dad. I wish you people are watching me from wherever you are".

When she starts thinking about her parents, she remembers every sweet moment she spent with her parents. The cookies they baked together, the cute fight between mom and dad over the dress Ivana should wear on her birthday, the song they used to sing together, how her father taught her to play piano. A sweet smile appears on her face. But then she remembered the pool of blood in front of her eyes on her 11th birthday and reality hit her.

She looks over the stars one more time and covers her face with a fake smile that she has been wearing to hide her pain since years.

Then she starts penning her pain to her companion HER DIARY. The only one who knows the pain in her heart, the only one who knows the pain behind her fake smile.

"Dear Diary, I don't know what I would do if it wasn't you with whom I share all my pains and feelings. Thanks for always being there for me whenever I feel low, for always listening to me without any complaints and letting me explain what I feel and what I go through. Guess what, I again had those nightmares which i'm trying to avoid all my life ".

"I just want to know whether God has planned all the worst in the universe for me? Whenever I try to forget all these things, although I know it's impossible but it goes opposite. it's been six years , I need sleeping pills every night or else i would have to face nightmare a Andn.And I guess this will happen all my life. I just wish i could change my fate , my life, my memories".

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