Chapter 02 "My Problem Starts Now"

My hands were cradling that thing in the grip, an ancient rusty shaped star-pin. The size was similar to the old one hundred Rupiah. My eyes glued to the rough sketch and scratch that circles one side, which seems a written text.

These letters were a little strange but similar to ancient characters. The stroke was too neat and perfect to say just a mere scratch.

At least I recognized it wasn't Javanese or Sundanese ancient characters. Because I had already known those two even though I didn't quite understand it. This character also didn't come from Japan, China, or Korea. This might come from other areas, or maybe from distinct parts of the world. I had no idea either. Because of the limited knowledge that I possessed, my head hurt when overthought about it.

"Hoi, why are you silent there, dammit!? Aren't you cold? If you want to look for death once more, it's up to you! But don't expect I'll help you again!" Shouted Dimas from a distance.

"Yeah, sorry, wait for me!"

With the rush, I put a star pin into the back pocket of my pants. Then went after the man who had walked the small road to go back to the camp. Not much different as the previous time, I had a little trouble crossing the trail filled with stones and roots of these trees. But at least I passed more quickly. Because I just follow the footsteps Dimas, who was in front of me.

Once we arrived at the campsite, the smell of grilled fish meat directly pierced my nostrils. Inviting hunger in the middle of the cold that enveloped my wet body. Near a campfire, Kak Indra put some fish freshly baked onto plastic plates. Then get ready to put more fish to the grill. Kak Shella was the first to be aware of our existence.

"Oh, you're both back? Wait, Dimas! Did you go to the river to wash clothes or take a bath?" She showed surprise expression when she saw our condition. "Jeez, Anggi! Why are you also soaking wet? "

"It's all because of this fool! He couldn't swim, but he really wanted to play in the river. So I inevitably help him when he has almost swept away earlier," Dimas replied curtly. It seems he was annoyed. That man didn't hesitate when snorted in front of my nose.

"You should have let him drown. Don't bother to save people who really want to find death!" Said Kak Indra who sat beside the campfire.

"I wish the hell. But remembered that he still owes me a hundred thousand Rupiahs. So, I had to save him." Angry Dimas walked directly to out both tent that established a few meters away from the fire.

He was indeed issued sharp words. It would be a blatant lie if I said those words didn't hurt me. But I never took it to my heart. Because I know he didn't mean to say it honestly. I'm very familiar with the nature of my close friend. Although it is a bit rough, in fact, he was a very caring person. If not, it's unlikely he's going to save me from sinking earlier. Then scold me if he didn't feel worried about me. You could say that his bold trait was the shield that covers his soft nature inside.

One more thing, I'll pay my debt later.

I followed Dimas toward the tent. Took the dry clothes out of the bag, and then changed the wet ones. Of course, I didn't forget to take the mysterious star pin out from my pocket. Then put it inside the pouch of new pants. Indeed I changed behind a large tree near here. Because I feel a little embarrassed when my body emaciated seen by others. Unlike Dimas, who casually dressed in front of the tent. As if he really wanted to show off his body to others. Instead, Kak Shella and other female members have averted their eyes because they feel ashamed of themselves.

After changing clothes, we joined other friends. Where all Taekwondo members who participated, had gathered near the bonfire. A man was helping to bake fish. He was Kak Erik, one of the closest Kak Indra's friend often called "The Java" for his homeland. Also, there were first-year students like me; the twins Vian and Vani. Because their identical, people may often be mistaken for them.

The atmosphere was more lively and fun. Because in the middle of cooking, some people like to tell a joke. The subject could be anything. But most often were the funny club moments in the past. As a new member, of course, it caught my attention. I just found out that Kak Indra ever wore cheerleader uniform.

That happened when that man challenged his senior when he was a freshman. He Lost. As punishment, he was forced to wear a uniform of cheerleader club. Kak Erik, who joined the club from the beginning was showing photos of Kak Indra wearing that "bling-bling" uniform to everyone.

Do you imagine it? When his grim face and muscular body wrapped in a super cute outfit. Suddenly everyone laughed about it. While Kak Indra in shame, trying to catch up and beat the man who took his picture.

Because the atmosphere is fun and togetherness of all these people, I could feel the warmth in my heart. A unique thing that is rarely felt. I was very fortunate to be accepted as a part of them. This is what I'll make provisions to move forward.

About an hour later, the dinner has ended. Some people are assigned to wash tableware, some are given the task for tidy up the collected firewood. As for me, being in the 'not doing anything' and remain in place. Between not needed or just be troublesome, I was placed in this area for those reasons.

Dimas came up after the completion of clearing firewood near the campsite. And then sat on the mat, next to me. Taking a packet of corn chips from Kak Indra, and ate it up. Then he offered that snack and handed it to me.

"Nope! I am full."

"Really? Too bad! Though the chips were delicious!" His voice sounded so bright while his mouth was full.

"The chips that you said tasty is mine, bastard!" Kak Indra, who doesn't like his food taken out from his hands, seize back what belonged to him.

"You're so stingy, Captain! I just had some! "

Feeling ignored by Kak Indra protest, Dimas snorted boldly in disgust behind Kak Indra's back. That scene made me let out my laughter. I think it was quite funny when Dimas sulked like that. Pouting like a child to his mother.

"Why are you laughing?" Dimas raised his eyebrow.

"It is nothing. Just forget it," I said, smiled lightly. That boy was silent for a while staring at me. As if there was something funny on my face that caught his attention. He also didn't say anything to me. After a long time, I felt a little uncomfortable about it. "What's wrong? Is there something strange on my face?"

"I've seen you frequently like this, but let me tell you this time."

"Seeing me like this?" I wondered.

"You look like a woman. From the way you speak, your voice, your mind, and your attitude, I felt like I was dealing with a woman every time."

"No way! I am a real man, you know!"

"I'm sure if you dressing up with girl's clothes, there will be a lot of men attracted to you."

"Wh-What the hell are you talking about!!?" I protested loudly.

Loud laughter escaped from his mouth. "Relax! I am just kidding. Seeing you angry like this is very funny. I really couldn't stop laughing. Very amusing!"

Dimas's laughter becomes the center of other's attention. Fortunately, the conversation was just between us. If widespread surely, I would be very embarrassed. Maybe I would follow the previous action by Kak Indra, chasing and trying to hit the person on my side.

However, if you think about it well, maybe it's precise words. Sometimes I feel my trait is similar to women.

That's because I grew up and was raised by a mother and two elder sisters. Father had left my family for another woman when I was five. Deeply hurt by him, my mother decided not to marry again until today. So I don't know how it feels to have a father and raised by a man.

Set aside myself, I always think bad about men. But my views changed after met Dimas. Not only protect me whom continuously bullied by others. He is also kind to everyone. One day, there was a little kitten who fell into the river, and he saved regardless of the heavy stream and rain. I was touched. It was like watching a real hero in the real world. Maybe that makes me want to be like him.

Since then, I've always followed him wherever he goes, and tried to follow all his behavior and speaking style. This little heart hoped that if I could be akin to Dimas. But no matter how often I followed him, I could never approach someone who I admired. I have to accept the fact that there is a large separation wall between him and me.

Nevertheless, the desire remains unchanged. I wanted both my mental and physical get stronger. I wanna have great courage and spirit. I also wanted me to be useful to others. I didn't deny if I wanted to be some kind of hero, precisely the same as Dimas. Although it took a long time to achieve it, I'll keep trying. No matter how much time will be spent.

"H-Hey, stupid!" Suddenly I was startled by the Dimas's rising sound. He shook me for the sake interrupting my dreaming. When I looked at him, startled expression directed at my lower body. "Look at that!"

I immediately followed the direction of his fixed gaze. A light was shining brightly from my back pocket pants. Instinctively I stood up as soon as possible. Then remembered if it was where I kept the mysterious star pin after changing clothes. While trying to take it very carefully and slowly, I felt the gaze of all the people who were around. It's weird. Whereas before I thought no one could see the light of this pin except me.

Dazzling golden yellow light was emitted from the sidelines of the hand grip. The intensity is too high. Dark trees looked like having their own glow after the ray doused it. Even the bonfire which was a primary light source here, was nothing when compared with the star pin. I closed my eyes with the other hand because it is too blinding.

"What is it, Anggi?" Asked Kak Shella who also blocked his view to not look at it directly.

"I have no idea. I just picked it up."

All the people fell silent and stunned by the light that radiates from within my grasp. So do I. Because this thing shines more brightly than when it was the bottom of the river.

"I'm feeling bad from it. I think you should return it to its original place!"

Anxiety appears on Kak Shella's face. That girl was biting her bottom lip. I looked at the people around me. Although no one was talking, their expressions showed similarities to one vote. Including Dimas. The boy nodded to express consent. Probably from the beginning, I really shouldn't take any origin object just because of high curiosity.

Due to a somewhat chaotic situation, I intend to carry out Kak Shella's idea. I hold the star pin tightly, planning to return it to the riverbed. I caught all the light by hands, although there is still radiating through my fingers.

Suddenly, I felt an extreme pain. The palm of the hand I used to hold that thing was heating up. Suddenly I was tossed open palms. I flinched when I found that luminous pin began to enter my body slowly. Ignoring the whole world, my eyes glued to the scenery that surprised me half to death.

A moment later, it disappeared. Imprint on my palm, then hot steam somehow continually out of me.

"Wh-What's this !!?" I yelled. Unable to withstand the heat that burned my hands, I shouted. Grimacing in pain and crying uncontrollably until falling to the ground. Hot steam kept blowing out of my arms and continue to wrap me.

"Anggi!!"

The first person who approached me was Dimas. He took my hand and tried to douse it with mineral water. But rather than extinguished it, the burning was worsening. Even the heat starting spreads the whole body. Some people try to flush my body with water. But it was useless. The heat had been burned all over me.

I rolled around on the ground while yelling desperately. My body was as if were placed on the grill with a fire burning, and that imagery became true. My whole body starting to baked. Not like a person who just sunbathes on the beach, but more similar to the burning charcoal embers. In some parts, my skin began to crack and peel.

The pain was quickly spread throughout the body and organs inside me. Until I no longer strong enough to move around and screaming. My whole body was numb. My eyes only could see black color. My ears are no longer able to catch any sound. The smell of the meat was burned, was the last time I sniff.

"Why is this happening to me? What have I done to be this way?"

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