From Here On

"You got something on your mind?"

Kido looked up as soon as he heard the question. The asker, Mikasa, was standing before his desk smiling tenderly, and he smiled back—even if moments before, she had just slammed her hands on it to gain his attention and nearly caused him to slip off his chair.

The war's end definitely had been a boon to her, for she now could show the lighter side of her more, and by asking that question, she was showing him her playful—or rather, her motherly self.

"Oh, well, you see, Mikasa-dono, it's nothing important, really…"

He paused as he found Mikasa wagging her finger very close to his face, tongue clicking.

"Son, I know this face you're making. I've seen it before. If you could tell me at that time, why couldn't you this time?"

Kido sighed. Mikasa indeed had a point—He realized he was certainly making the same face when he was about to beg her to let him mount that rescue mission.

"Well, I certainly won't force you to say it, but if you want to, I'm all ears. Maybe I could help."

Kido couldn't shake the feeling that Mikasa was already aware of what was troubling him, and she simply wanted him to open up as a mother would. Maybe she thought it could make it easier for him, and he soon decided that telling her would probably be for the better, and it wouldn't hurt.

"...She's not coming back, isn't she?" Kido whispered after collecting his thoughts.

It probably wasn't a question that needed answering. Deep down, Kido was already resigned to the fact that she did not need to return. The conflict was over, and he knew she was safe—even if they should be separated by that vast distance.

"How would you feel if she's not, son?"

Kido looked up again.

"At the very least, I could say I'm happy she's back at home, safe and sound," he muttered. That thinking would always comfort him to a degree, so he smiled a little. "But often I couldn't help but think…what if she's staying? Or…what if I would never see her again? It's those kinds of thoughts—but I will move on, Mikasa-dono. I just need…time."

"Attachment begets regret; this is a sad truth of this world. I could only hope you wouldn't be caught up in it," Mikasa shook her head before slipping a sealed envelope onto the desk.

"Well, I was about to give you this earlier," she said as Kido looked at the article questioningly.

"And this is…?"

"An invitation; Admiral Roberts of the Allies will be hosting a gathering of sorts in their headquarters at the Imperial Hotel tonight. They wanted me to come. And since you've been my faithful aide throughout the war, I would like you to join me. After all, I'd need someone to drive Hiei and me there."

Kido stared at the envelope for a while. That sounded like a distraction he sorely needed, so he nodded. Mikasa seemed relieved at the reaction.

"Good. Be on time, and wear your best," she said before turning to leave.

"...Before you go, I would like to thank you, Mikasa-dono," Kido told her as she was about to open the door. She looked back and returned the smile.

"No problem."

...----------------...

"It's been a while…Lieutenant Commander," she offered, followed by a slight bow.

"Ye-yeah; um…I…I'm glad you're well," Kido stuttered back.

"It's all thanks to you," she continued, this time softer. "I'm forever grateful."

"Oh, no, it's nothing, really."

She said nothing after that—at first. She glanced aside, one hand covering her lips, which she soon removed to reveal a smile.

The smile was unlike everything he had ever seen from her. Nothing was hidden behind it—no burden, no pain, no fear. Just one so earnest that Kido found himself unable to take his eyes off it, not even when his heart suddenly felt like someone had attached a great weight to it.

"It's all thanks to you that I could smile like this. You showed me I could. I'm not scared anymore, and that's why…"

She paused for a deep breath, and Kido took the chance to do the same, though the act had little effect on him.

"…Could we share a dance?"

...----------------...

It was an utterly surreal feeling for him to follow Helena's lead and take the floor with her just like that after accepting her invitation without thinking. He didn't even notice an intoxicated Mikasa leading a flustered Hiei along after she had failed to find a willing partner.

Helena was not the most graceful dancer, but her sure steps assured him she wouldn't embarrass them both by stumbling anytime soon. Kido did his utmost not to either as he moved along with her, with what little he knew about western dances.

Never once did her content smile falter, no matter how red she was. Now that she had shown her wonderful, newfound courage, she no longer seemed so small.

"It's wonderful, isn't it? That the conflict is finally over?" Helena murmured as they circled around the floor, ending the silence that had long lingered before as they danced on.

"So much to be done, still—but yeah, the conflict is over, and it's wonderful," replied Kido. Even with that in mind, he laughed along with her.

"I'm glad I could see it," she continued; as she did, Kido found her looking at him intently, and the meaning behind the words immediately dawned on him.

Helena showed no overt reaction to the hands tightening around hers, and Kido could only hope she didn't notice how his eyes began to water.

"...I'm…happy you could," Kido managed. He was indeed happy for her—so much that even if this meeting were short, he would have no regrets. Even if he couldn't say what he truly wanted to say, those words would be enough.

The revelation seemed to have caught Helena by surprise, but soon Kido could hear her relieved sigh.

"Is that…so? I'm glad to be here, then…" she giggled as the music began to wind down, and people were moving away from the floor. Yet she remained there, only smiling as if she was waiting.

It was as if she was saying,

"Take me."

Kido dismissed the thought as wishful thinking. But he stretched out a shaky hand anyway.

The hand stopped shaking the moment she took hold of it.

...----------------...

Kido soon found himself with Helena in the hotel's courtyard. She'd mentioned, just before, of wanting to be outside for a moment, which he readily obliged to.

There was nobody there but them. Kido found the quiet a welcome change from all the din—judging from Helena's serene countenance, he figured she felt the same.

Lights were few and far between, but the moonlit sky, and its constellations, were more than enough to make up for it.

Looking up, Kido saw that the moon was beautiful, and he couldn't help but wonder—if he mentioned it, would she catch on to the words' other meaning as well?

Ultimately, he decided against it, even after he convinced himself she most likely won't. Some things are better left unsaid, after all.

"So bright…"

"Yeah, it is."

"And the moon…is beautiful, isn't it?"

Kido couldn't quite hold back his laughter over that remark. That was what he had thought of saying, spoken without any hidden meaning behind them.

"Lieutenant Commander?"

"It's nothing," Kido told her when he noticed his laugh had left Helena bewildered, "you're right. It is indeed beautiful."

"When I was recovering, I couldn't see it. But now…" Helena murmured, eyes shut, "I see a light. A light that won't go away even when I close my eyes like this."

The smile accompanying the words was ethereal. Kido was adamant it wasn't an exaggeration. Had he continued to neglect breathing upon seeing it, he would undoubtedly die. But that was indeed the face of someone who had found something they could hold onto for the rest of their life. Even if they had to be separated again, he would cherish the smile forever.

"And that's…good. I'm glad to hear that, Helena. You're…you're free now. You can begin again. Now you can live without doubts. Without fear…"

"…Not without you."

Kido's entire train of thought, which he had devoted to finding words to encourage her more, came to a complete stop the moment Helena opened her eyes to meet his.

Her gaze, glassy through tears, was resolute despite that. His mind, which had momentarily turned a void, now had become clear through her words as if they were engulfing light.

"Helena…then…will you stay…?"

The last vestiges of his doubt crumbled when she nodded.

"…Did you know? That light…I realize it now…I found it in you. So yes, Lieutenant Commander…I will stay. I want to stay by your side."

Having said that and only receiving a hearty laugh as a response hardly affected Helena. He had always been looking for her happiness; she had realized that long ago. And now, she could tell how overjoyed he was to hear what she had wanted to say for a long time. She had made him happy, too—and it won't be the last time she did so.

"Thank you…Thank you," Kido gasped amid the gradually waning laughter. He was tearing up a little. He decided there was no need to hide them anymore and said what he, too, had wanted to say for a long time.

They soon found themselves in each other's arms, sharing small laughs and tears, affirming their mutual wish—to be connected.

"…Well, I guess this means…it's us who will begin again…from here," Kido finally whispered. He could tell Helena was nodding because her forehead was against his chest before she moved even closer.

"Yes…from here on."

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