Married life

I'm a married woman in my early twenties and everything I do for me and my family, but sometimes I feel like a total stranger in my own family. I have two kids, a boy and a girl which I love very much, and my husband takes care of them so much no matter what they want.

I teach in a school and that is where my kids are. I try as much as possible to take care of my home and myself as well.

Marriage life is so boring because there are so many things you cannot do on your own, anywhere you go, you have to ask permission and get a permit before you and if he refuses, you are not supposed to go, if you do, there will be troubles waiting for you. Most times I want to use my own will but end up going with his word because in African countries the men are the head of the family, so whatever happens, he will be favored more than a woman.

In Africa if a man cheats, the woman is to be blamed but if a woman cheats, then she is a witch or was **** during her school time.

A working class woman will be ridiculed and called names especially when she is married and works but then for men it is okay.

A woman who is married and refused to stay a full time housewife would be called names everyday by in-laws or the society.

When a woman doesn't conceive in a marriage, she is called barren, witch, sometimes she is being told to have aborted all her children when she was in school, but sometimes it is the fault of the man.

In Africa when a man can't conceive, the woman is told to keep it a secret and go on with the marriage, but outside people would be pointing fingers saying she is barren.

Women suffer in African marriages so much to the extent that they end up having depression and other illness that sometimes lead to death.

In my marriage, I decided to let everything pass away as if I don't care but deep down I do care.

When it comes to decision-making I'm not part, when it comes anything related to the upkeep of the family, I'm not told anything until it is finished.

When it doesn't go well, I'm partly blamed, but I had no idea of it.

I decided to take my own part which sometimes my mum doesn't approve but hell yeah I care less, I do things that will benefit me and my family and I can never do anything against my own family.

As an African woman sometimes you have to have a strong will and heart to rule as queen in your own home and life.

Be a queen for yourself and rule your own kingdom no matter what it takes don't let an enemy take you down either the society, your in-laws, your own parent or anyone.

My life now is not perfect but happy and I'm still hoping things will change as times go on and I'm still praying for more love in my marriage life.

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