chapter 3

Next day was quite disturbing for me. I had a talk with my close friends. They

tried to soothe my mind and I felt a little better but not so much.

It was the mid of April, generally the marriage season and my beloved was also

going to be married in the month. I didn‟t know the exact date but whenever i saw a

marriage ceremony it hurt me as I was reminded that my beloved was also going to be

someone else‟s. It really hurt me and brought tears into my eyes.

The ghost of April 2009 haunted me very much. It seemed a gift which had been

gifted to me by God, is going to be someone else‟s now. Whenever I saw a newlywed

couple, I was reminded of her which greatly disturbed my mind. I was in dismaying state.

Often her remembrance haunted me. Her sweet voice, her beautiful smile, her love for

me, her promises with me, the dreams we had seen together, dreamt of having a beautiful

hut in the hill station, me and my beloved living a beautiful life where only love prevails,

she in my arms and I having an infinite love for her, but all my dreams dashed to the

ground. My love was in the mortuary and I was collecting the corpse of the time spent

with her.Contentment is a great virtue, though it may not attract one's attention at first.

Those who are truly content are usually quiet about it. It is a pleasure to be in their

company, because they are full, peaceful, and generous. In my college days, I was a very

introvert guy, didn‟t talk much with girls. But I like to share my views through my

poetries and writings for which sometimes I have to face criticism from my close ones.

Big desires, big thoughts and big sayings all are the part of my life but more hypothetical

than realistic, veil my emotions, my thoughts from everyone except me. In my college

days I had a strong desire to be in love and be loved.

In my graduation days I was infatuated for a girl living near my house. It was one

sided love affair, she used to take tuitions with me in my school days and I never

expressed what I felt for her as I myself didn‟t know what was that. My heartbeat used to

increase on seeing her. She used to come to my house to take books and notes from me.

But I didn‟t talk much with her. She was junior to me in my college. It was my strong

desire to see her once a day. One day she left my college as she was going to join a

course with some foreign university. I was very much hurt on hearing that.

Though she didn‟t know about my feelings for her yet I experienced the feeling of

love for the first time in my life. Love is a very unique feeling and if it is both sided then

nothing is sweeter than that. It is said that the spaces between our fingers were created so

that another's could fill them in. It definitely changed my life and gave me a new

enthusiasm and energy to live life and I thanked God for letting me experience this

beautiful thing in life.

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