Episode 3

Antonela

She would look like this actress

It's been 6 months since I separated from Fillipo, it still hurts to see him with Luna. I loved him too much

They say that a man shows when he loses interest, that didn't happen to me or I didn't notice.

But he remained the same, in fact I think I never really knew Fillipo.

Fiorella went two months without talking to her father, but now they are fine again.

She still hasn't accepted his relationship with Luna, but she forced herself to meet her a few times.

I thought I was going to die, I knew I couldn't handle it alone and I went looking for help.

God, my sister and Therapy, yes I still go to the psychologist today, although I think I drive her crazy.

I've always been clumsy and even funny.

But in these months I lost some of that joy I always had.

What hurts the most is seeing him give her what I struggled for years to achieve with him. I'm here fighting as always to get things and she's reaping what was mine.

Most of my colleagues live talking bad about him and Luna in front of me, and behind me they said it was my fault, that I left him too alone.... liars!

What really made me come back to life besides my daughter, was a speaker from a personal development course I went to and it was the best thing I did

In this course I heard many truths like

That crying, playing the victim and complaining won't change anything! and that nobody cares about you

whether you're going to get better or not, whether you're going to live or die, that the only person who can change is ourselves.

So I understood that I had to make a choice, stay crying, lamenting, listening to absurdities and feeling like a victim of life or start over, be a new Antonella, a new version of myself.

Thank God I can still change whenever I think it's necessary, so for 3 months I've been a new woman and much happier! I'm still recovering....

Fillipo called me sometimes and three months ago I blocked him from my cell phone and my life!

I don't need anything from him, as I said the day we broke up for me he is dead, I even refer to him exactly like that. Dead

Luna's mother called me and made a big scene, I sent her to hell!

I continue to give my classes, Fiorella was accepted into journalism university.

Yes!! My little girl is going to study journalism! I'm very happy, I love her so much

Today I'm going out with her and her friends who are also going to university to study journalism with her.

To celebrate, they want to eat pizza.

Even if I don't feel like it, I'll go, it's impossible not to, they deserve it.

I invited my sister who was the only one who helped me and helps me to this day.

She's my best friend, the few times I went out it was with her and my brother-in-law. She's married and my brother-in-law is a sweetheart. I like them.

My parents are old and live in Cremona near their relatives. They even came to see me when they found out what happened, but frankly they don't care much.

At the Restaurant

Fiorella - Mom, did you see the news about the death of that mobster?

Antonella - yes

Giordana (Fiorella's best friend) - Auntie, did you see how they found the body?

Antonella- I didn't have photos, I just read how they supposedly found him

Elma (Fiorella's friend) - we saw the photos

Antonella- how???

They laughing at Antonella's shock

Fiorella- Mom, we're going to be journalists and things leak.

Giordana- do you want to see?

Fiorella - no! she's going to feel sick

Antonella - let me see, I want to see

Fiorella - mom, better not

Antonella - give me the cell phone with the photos, Gi

Giordana - okay, look

Antonella looks at all of them - I'm feeling sick

Fiorella - I told you! Now you're pale, mom, breathe, drink water

Antonella breathing - wow, what an ugly thing! Let me see again

Them - no!!! you almost fainted

Elma - but he's a hottie, even though he's old enough to be my father

Antonella - who ?

Giordana - Don Enrico the most feared Mafioso in Italy

Fiorella - it's very cruel! people, he may be handsome, but he's very bad, they say he did it.

Elma - they say everyone is very afraid of him, he rarely goes personally to do anything.

He is the Don of the mafia or as they say the Don of Cosa Nostra and whoever gets in his way, dies.

Then Avelina arrives (sister and Antonella)

Avelina - hi loved ones, hi bella (she called Antonella bella)

Antonella - hi Lina

Them - hi Auntie Lina

Lina - are you talking about the famous Enrico Costellos

Them - yes

Antonella - the girls were showing me some photos and she tells everything

Lina - yes, he's very cruel. Let me tell you something, Antonella when she was a teenager dreamed of being kidnapped by a mobster

Them laughing

Fiorella laughing- mom, I know you're pretty crazy, but seriously?

Antonella- it's not quite like that, I read a lot of romance and in them the mobsters always gave everything that money could buy, like clothes, shoes, jewelry and at the time I was passionate about these things.

So when I read the part where they sent them to the mall to buy clothes I imagined the damage I would do if it were me, also the respect I would have in being the wife of a mobster, imagine the fakes of my ex-friends, they would die of envy.

But I was like 17, 18 years old

Lina - true, Antonella has always been vain and spent all the money she earned on clothes and shoes

Antonella - true, but then I got married and started helping your father and that's what happened....

Fiorella - I know he was a scoundrel with you mom, but he's my father, we could change the subject

Antonella - we should change the subject, the girls start talking to each other

Lina talking only to Antonella,

-but I wanted to be Don Enrico's concubine, ah I wanted to!

Antonella laughing - beast

Lina - wow the mobster is a hottie! and he has a body.... girl, it's mouthwatering

Who wouldn't want to be tortured in his bed

Antonella laughing -

Lina pulling some photos from the internet, look at this and tell me if it's not to lose control

Antonella looking at the photos - wow! he's a hottie and he knows you can lose half an hour or a little more

Lina laughing - half an hour? it's enough to die happy in the arms of a man like that

Antonella- die I don't think so, but playing is ok

Lina laughing - definitely and speaking of that, I think you should give Dario a chance

Antonella- no,

Lina - go out with him, he's a good man. He's a doctor, separated, has adult children already

Antonella- no, I still don't feel like it

Lina - please Fillipo there with that wh*re and you alone

Antonella- seriously I'm fine, I don't want to be with someone because of neediness or something like that. You know these months have shown me that I can be happy alone.

And when and if some man appears that adds to my life and I'm not talking financially. I can even love again, but it still hurts a lot, I'm still not ready for that.

Lina - all right, you know I said that because I worry about you and if I could I would punch Fillipo and Luna

Antonella - the dead, forget it

Fiorella starts talking to them and the subject ends right there

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