Sadness inside

I just afraid of loosing some who i love and like because until this age I have lost many good friends whom I go near they left me and never met again I don't know where they gone my kindergarten friends my junior class friends also my cushion's. People I admire they have also gone .The big part is I am not a good person nor a good daughter and good girl my family also disappointed by me . Mom always shouted me because ofy brother. My brother don't like me because I have male friends now . I had so many fight with boys school students.i had so many sacrifices because of my friends my brother but they never ever find my effort . Thy always make fun of me . Some time I feel so lonely alone I want someone who always be m side but no one is forever even nothing is free what if Abhishek also won't like me after some time? what if I will disappoint him he never loves me again . I also afraid with him no reason. I admire him . I have some feelings about him but something in me that stop me. Yes I afraid of love now . Whole night this things was in my mind and when I slept I have no idea .

Next day in evening again Abhishek and his friends come near by me house I was studied in my garden and saw them after some time I go out with my cycle . One friend of him call me again . I cleared my things with Abhishek I said I don't want to be of your girlfriend for now but let's start with friendship and talk to me whenever you want I will be a good friend of you and be with you he agreed . I was happy at that moment he also we Shake our hands then he left . I was kinda happy because I realised that friendship is far better then love for now , I can understand him with this was or if he doesn't like me after some time he can move on easily and me also we both won't feel hurt so much . Went on like this for few days . We didn't have phone and other devices so we talk only when we met it been already one month during that time we played carrom board chase Ludo cricket also . I like this game but more I like what played with him .he always gave me a chance to win . But some times he again start love matters asked me when will you ready for be my girlfriend I always take it easy and change the topic . he got tried of that . Only one thing was matter at that time that was we were together , with Whatever reasons . We spend some time together we talk going to open up with each other that was Happy moments. I also started falling for him .

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