Happiness and Nightmare

One after another bodies fell on the ground, painful screams begging for mercy and souls yearning to live on engulfed the entire area. No mercy. The words that my 'father' engraved into my mind kept repeating themselves. Again and again.

"Please don-", someone begged. I'm sorry. SLASH! The body was cut in half.

No mercy.

" You ******* bit-" The words were left uncompleted...pop...the head was separated from the body.

No mercy.

An eye popped out. No mercy. Humans slaughtered in what seemed like billions of little pieces. No mercy. Blood stained the soild beneath. No mercy...

Killing was never my choice.

I was forced into it, to kill meant to survive. Yes I have killed before. I have killed many. Ever since young I loathed the very thought of taking one's life away....and now? Now, for me, killing was nothing but an instinct. The thrill of dying...the adrenaline which one's feels before a battle made me remember. No. It made me experience the emotion that i had long forgotten about-happiness. Yes, that emotion.

Kida during my age would laugh, cuddle their parents and play to their heart's content yet in my fate none of these things were written. There was a time where I too was happy but those moments were snatched away the moment my 'father' came into my life.

I have long forgotten what it feels to be happy, what is joy? That feeling which would bubble up inside of me; make me burst with energy and cause my deadened eyes to light up. No matter how much I fight, how many I kill, I'm unable to feel it...

In a black that has a strength of midnight blue whispering to its heart, balletic stars take to their stage; lighting the sky like snow-flakes in the night, yet appear still, like an old photograph.They filled the sky like pale corn into freshly turned ground. It was a promise of life in darkness, a sense of warmth springing from the cold. With the cool night breeze dancing along the surface of the Earth followed by the clapping of leaves and chattering of flowers which welcomed this beautiful night.

The first day came to an end and the second night of survival began. Finding a cave suitable for the stay, I rested my head on the cold stony surface and allowed slumber to take me into a world of its own.

The soothing earthy-smell now carpeted by a salty bloody one, the crisp of the fire lingering

in the air dancing right into my nostrils.The blood painted the ground with nothing but red;

with the bodies of dead adorned into the soil beneath. The light tremble of my arms from the

familiar feeling; with my stomach turning upside down yet a sudden rush of excitement whichmade me want to kill- The blood rushing within my veins erging me to do so. What have I

become? The trace of humanity left within me dripping out leaving nothing but a dark empty

shell. The questions which keep making their way into my head while I continue this dance

of slaughter; "What should I do? " "What have I done? '' . My memory was nothing but damp

and misty, with titbits of fragments left. Reminding me of my sins, the black guilt which

devours me whole. What is this? Where am I? I also remember that soft soothing sound

coming from behind me which would comfort me often, it's voice was unforgettable and clear

in my head. It was more like an order though but this young self of mine urging for even a bit

of love took it happily.

“Pssst...you there…” It came again. “ Come on, let's play.” it continued, but I ignored it.

“Fufu...looks like our Dalinda has grown up...should I let you see something spectacular?” the

soft whisper spoke, poison now leaking from its voice, I tend to ignore it again but the sight it

displayed was horrifying.

“What do you think Linda? Hehe. Like what you see?” Tears in my soul became tears in my

eyes while I witnessed the horrifying memory once again, the death of my mother. The cold

body which was set before me, pale blood trickling down from her now blue-lips. Eyes gaping

like a fish while her bony hand reached out to me once gain “Linda...Dalinda.....help…” were my mother's

last words.

“STOP IT!!!” I screamed

“But Linda… you’re the one who caused it….” It responded. The voice I mean, in its oh so

innocent way as if it were an angel sent down by the heavens and was free from any sins.

“I SAID STOP! NO! IT WASN’T MY FAULT!!!”

“It was your fault Dalinda. It was all your fault…”

“NO!”

The nightmare was gone and I. I woke up.

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