My notepad

Hello ~ I just want to give a quick notice to this e who choose to read~

These are all made bye me ~ I have them all written in my note pads kinda like journals~

They are not made to make sense at all~ and if you understand them my heart goes to the trauma you are going threw.

have a wonderful life my lovelys remember many out their think your perfect just the way you are~ remember that.

I told someone who I use to cherish deeply about them and they are the ones to encourage me to share them though not where people may see the Creator~

for that is way to much of a risk I shall never take. I do admit these are harsh reality checks on me I would sadly not like to admit

Pocket knife -One-Shot -

I sat alone in the dark abyss or a room a room where most tend to relax. Where most may want peace and quiet.

I sat their with tears rolling down my cheeks, the scorn full burn in my eyes , the pounding headache... Everything hurts I don't know why...

Mabey if I ask for help. No I can't I can't speak something's telling me not to...

I start cradling myself, I slip my hand across the sharp dry and matted carpet, feeling anything from comfort anything at all... I..I..I feel numb ..Numb? I can't feel pain now...nor sadness nothing its blank.Untill

I caress a small object. I picked it up I may not see it but..I do feel it's smooth edge with ruff ripples as I glide my finger along it. I push a bit harder making me wince.

I retracted my hand , the small object then fell on the ground a light thump following. I held my finger tight as a crimson liquid spills from Stinging finger, the dark room begins to flicker all around me as a comforting light begins to finally show itself.

The pain went away a couple seconds later making the room grow ever more darker then before a uneasy feeling settling itself in. I couldn't bare anymore of this!

I quickly grabbed the small item and raised it over my arm I lowered it faster only to stop when it was just hovering over my wrist I flinched. The thing was I haven't even done anything yet.

instead I open the blade fully ~ and started tracing from my chin and worked my way down from my neck to my sensitive chest.

It felt like static, I can't explain the feeling it was throbbing at first. If you have ever experienced sitting on a body part wrong or long enough to make it fall asleep, when it's starts waking up that's the same feeling ~>

A electric feeling swept over my body I was about to finish tracing. I opened my eyes to reveal the familiar comforting light of my room once again this time to stay~

But... Something was off ... I felt warm liquid washing down me , with a silver pocket knife I have grasped in my hand covered in something red...d....d...

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