Chapter no.4 The Heart's Shadow

I opened my eyes, but it was unclear whether they were truly open or if I was still trapped in darkness. The darkness enveloped me like a cloak, suffocating and inescapable. I laid still, trying to gauge how much time had passed since my imprisonment. It didn't seem like a long time had passed, as I didn't feel the gnawing hunger that had plagued me before.

For the past few days, I had survived by eating the glowing mushrooms that grew on the walls of my prison. The taste was like a hellish inferno in my mouth, but to my surprise and horror, I had grown used to it. The mushrooms left my tongue numb, like a corpse, yet it no longer disgusted me as it once had.

With my hunger temporarily satiated, my mind was flooded with thoughts and memories. The silence was deafening, with no sound from the outside world to indicate the passage of time. I knew that anyone would go insane if trapped in this darkness for too long, but I had to hold on to my sanity at all costs. I repeated my name over and over, trying not to lose my identity.

I couldn't shake the feeling that I was getting thinner and leaner. When I finally escaped from this place, maybe I should open up a shop where I guarantee customers could get thin. I could trap them in a dark room like this until they lost weight.

Yes, yes, I will make millions!

While lost in my insane ideas to get rich, my foot grazed against the moss and mushrooms on the wall and I couldn't help but think about how finite it was, unlike my teenage delusions of grandeur. I knew that the day when all the moss and mushrooms disappears would probably be my last. Still, I thought I'd stick with it until then.

As I trudged on, I couldn't help but wonder why I was holding on so tightly to this life. If I would just give up, my body could have been more comfortable with the sweet release of death. Then again, I didn't know if death would bring an end to my suffering. Such temptations came often. Maybe I should just give up. Each time, I bit my lip and endured. My mouth was torn and bursting from the effort.

Suddenly, the walls felt peculiar. When I looked up, I saw someone looking down at me. I couldn't believe my eyes. "What, Who's there?!", I questioned. The iron gate was firmly shut and there was no sign of anyone coming in from the outside. Above all, it made no sense to see someone else's figure in this pitch-black darkness. I still couldn't see my hand in this deuced place.

I tried to tell myself that it was not real, that it was just a dream, as I raised my head and looked at the person looking down at me. The man with a skinny face and body and empty eyes strangely resembled me.

"It's me.", he said. It was then that I realized that the man I was facing was another version of myself. As if I was seeing myself in a mirror that turns people ugly.

Even in this weird situation, I couldn't help but joke around, "Why does he look like that?

Did the only accident during his birth was the doctor dropping him?"

But it was just a front to stop myself from freaking out. In an extremely cornered situation, one would start to see things that you would never see in the normal way.

The clone was dressed in ragged clothes, his once white shirt now gray and torn. His pants were stained with dirt and his shoes were worn and tattered. He looked as if he had been living in this underground prison for years. His empty eyes were the only thing that stood out in his gaunt face, and they seemed to pierce through me as he stared at me.

I looked closer and noticed that he was holding a rusty iron rod in his hand, the weapon was jagged and sharp at one end. It looked like it had been used for many years, the blood stains on it were still visible.

"What are you looking at, ugly?" I asked him, trying to hide the fear in my voice.

The clone replied in a cold, monotone voice, { For what reason are you enduring so recklessly? Just let it go. If you let it go, it will be easier. }

I narrowed my eyes as I didn't expect him to answer.

{ Why are you holding on so hard? For what reason when you don't have anything? What is a bastard who has nothing to protect endures so recklessly?} he asked.

I didn't have a good answer for him. "I don't see a tall woman with a fat *** here so I don't think I have something that I must protect," I said.

The sound of my own voice echoing off the walls was the only thing that broke the silence as I stood there, staring at my own reflection.

{ It's funny, why do you struggle so much because you can't afford to waste your life? Give up. Giving up makes it easier }

"Will you feel comfortable?" For the first time since talking to this entity, I seriously asked.

{ What? }

"Will it be comfortable when I give up and let go? I don't think so."

{ You're going to die }

"I beg to differ, I'm going to live. It's a life that I can't afford to lose. I'm going to survive and see the end."

{ You're just talking nonsense }

"It would be ashamed to die like this. If I want to go out I'll have to put a knife through the guy's skull who imprisoned me here. If I don't then I won't be able to close my eyes even if I die."

{ .... }

"So, I'm going to live. I'm going to live like a vicious person and get revenge on everyone who made me this way and then I am going to find a tall girl with a fat *** to marry."

My inner self squatted down and stared into my eyes.

" I'm not that pretentious to be into myself."

{ .... }

{ Are you going to get revenge? }

"Yes."

{ You won't give up? }

"Do you see my dream girl in my hands, huh!"

{ .... }

{ You won't give up? }

" (~Sigh~ )" I closed my eyes but the inner self was still there.

{ You won't give up? }

" I won't !"

My inner self smiled, as if he liked my answer, I also smiled back with a chuckle.

What was I doing? Arguing with myself if I wanted to give up.

{ Good, if you give up on your path to revenge. I'll take over. }

"What does that mean ?"

{ You'll know, when the time is right. }

As the clone stared at me with those piercing, empty eyes, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of dread. I stood there, paralyzed, as he began to laugh. It was a low, guttural sound that echoed through the underground chamber, more demonic than anything I had ever heard before. He maintained his cold gaze on me, his grip tightening around the rusty iron rod, and I braced myself for an attack.

But, instead of lunging forward, the clone suddenly began to step backward, still laughing. The darkness of the underground prison seemed to swallow him, as if the shadows themselves were reaching out to embrace him. Slowly, he disappeared into the abyss, his demonic chuckle the last thing I heard before the darkness consumed him completely.

....

At that moment, I opened my eyes. My inner self was gone. I realized that I had woken up from a dream. At the same time, I realized that the other self I had seen was not just a dream, rather it was my heart's desire if I would give up.

The darkness really does drive people crazy.

I had passed a new hurdle unknowingly. If I truly had the will to carry out my revenge or not.

"Hu!" I sighed.

Suddenly, behind my back, a weird symbol glowed with a faint blue light. The symbol had a complex design that resembled four interconnected axe blades around a small round shield. For a second, my entire prison was lit up as I caught a glimpse of symbols and pictures decorating the walls under the moss. I could see purple and red mushrooms littering the walls. Even with the feeble light, my eyes hurt as if they were about to explode. Eyes that have adapted to darkness react violently to weak light.

Chunkyung!

Suddenly, the window at the bottom of the iron gate opened with a dull sound. The space was only small enough to fit one small plate. A faint light peered through the space. Suk! A small plate popped inside. And the window was closed again. My sense of smell was the first to respond.

'Food?'

My sense of smell was the first to respond, and I wondered if it was food. I brought the plate to my face, but the smell was unfamiliar. It was clear that the mix of things was probably a collection of leftovers. Still, it would taste better than the moss and mushrooms that I had been scraping from the walls.

However, I hesitated to eat the food, as it was given to me by the man who had imprisoned me here. I couldn't tell the contents of the food and if it contained poison, I could die. But there seemed to be no reason to kill me now after going through the trouble of capturing and detaining me in this place. Was the man some kind of sicko who enjoyed watching his prisoners die? I wondered as I touched the food.

I was dressed in tattered rags, my clothes torn and dirty from my time in captivity. My hair was matted and unkempt, and my body was weak from lack of food and water. I had no weapons, no means of escape. I was completely at the mercy of my captor.

At first, I didn't have a choice, but now I could choose whether to eat the food on the plate or eat moss and mushrooms. After all, there was still plenty of moss left. So even if I didn't eat this food right now, I could still survive for a while. But that thought didn't stop the saliva drooling from the ends of my mouth. I had to get information about the food, if it was poisonous or not.

The means to get information in the dark, where a single light does not enter, were extremely limited. Since I could not use my vision, the most convenient means of obtaining information, I had to mobilize my next developed sense, which was my sense of smell. I sniffed the food cautiously, trying to detect any hint of poison, but it all smelled the same, a mix of different spices, I had never smelled before.

I was in a deep dilemma, should I eat the food or not? Hunger was gnawing at my stomach, and I knew I needed to eat something to survive. But the fear of being poisoned was too great. I sat there for what felt like hours, staring at the plate of food, trying to make a decision.

Please, tell me if this food is poisonous or not. I cannot survive on moss and mushroom alone, but I fear for my life if I eat something that may harm me.

I took a deep breath, almost sticking my nose to the plate. A lot of smells mixed in. It was as if the garbage had been collected in one place, and the various smells were mixed. Some were stinking, some still smelled pleasant. If it was the old me, I wouldn't be able to distinguish the smells mixed. However, being trapped in an underground space without a single point of light for a long time changed something in me.

I didn't know if it was due to the moss or my lack of use of my sense of sight, but my sense of smell had gotten sharper in this place. In this place, I could distinguish odors that could never be distinguished one by one. This subtle change gave rise to an idea in my head.

The reason why I was trapped here was so that my captors could make me into a weapon.

It didn't have any proof other than my increased sense of smell and touch. I compared the odors I could distinguish to those that remained in my memory. This smells like rotten fish and tea leaves. A luxury not available to many so either this place was near the sea or these people that trapped me here were rich. This is pork bone and the remaining shavings. The types of food on the small plate were incredibly diverse.

It was incredible that my sense of sense had gotten so sharp that I could distinguish all of these smells. I concluded that it wasn't poisoned because it was all the residue of food that someone had left behind. To some, it may have been just rotting stinky food, but for me, it was a valuable resource that provided a lot of information. There were more than five types of food that I managed to identify with a few more up in the air.

With all things considered, there must be more than one person involved in my imprisonment. I didn't think they would have made more than three by three square meters underground all for little old me. To prepare such a space, considerable funds and manpower were required. It meant that it was not a space that could be easily made by an individual. It also meant that my captors were well-funded and had a lot of resources at their disposal.

I felt a sense of hopelessness wash over me as I realized the gravity of my situation. I was trapped in a dark underground prison, with no means of escape and no idea why I was there. But a fire of determination ignited in my chest. If their purpose was to create a weapon, then I'll become that weapon that reaps their lives. I had plenty of time left, and nothing else to do here. The best thing I could do with my time was to think, guess, plan and prepare.

I carefully began to eat the food, taking small bites and savoring the taste, no matter how terrible it was. I knew that I needed nutrients other than moss to restore my stamina and muscle strength. Even if it was just a mix of garbage, it was still better than nothing.

As I ate, I reached out and touched the wall beside me, tracing the symbols and drawings with my fingers, somehow these symbols felt different from that glowing symbol, was this some kind of message ?

The rough texture of the moss and the coldness of the stone wall were familiar to me now. The sound of me eating echoed through the darkness, the crunching and swallowing of my food the only noise in the silence.

I was dressed in ragged clothes, torn and tattered from my time in this prison. My hair was matted and unkempt, and my skin was covered in dirt and grime. I was barefoot, my feet calloused and rough from walking on the rough stone floor.

As I ate, I couldn't help but think about that glowing symbol. I imagined myself wielding the axe blades from the symbol on the wall, feeling their weight in my hands. I envisioned the small round shield, protecting me from my enemies. I would make sure that when the time comes, I'll be ready to fight and take my revenge.

The food may have tasted terrible, but it gave me the strength and determination to survive. I would not be broken by this prison, I would not be a victim. I would be a weapon, and I would use that weapon to escape and make those who trapped me here pay for their crimes.

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