Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Hours of searching and shouting out the name of Sae Mi, and yet, still nothing. We hadn’t gotten any response from her. We even tried calling her out through the huge speakers in the center of town, which was used for major emergencies only. At that time, it was me and Junji who were looking throughout the more dangerous parts of Haebangchon, but even then, we couldn’t find her. By that time, the streets had already emptied, and it was just us two who were out. I’m guessing we’ve been searching for the whole day now. I didn’t even keep track of time, that’s how bad it was. Luckily I was off work today, otherwise I’d be screwed to death by Jin Young.

“God, where the hēll is she??” I shout, starting to think this search might be going out of hand. I’d already grown tired of walking and searching in backstreets at this point. It was all starting to become an entire nuisance to me. It was just “Shin Sae Mi, Shin Sae Mi,” all over again and again.

As we walk along a dark backstreet, I hear a faint rustle, as if something ran past a bush, near the far corner. Could it have been Sae Mi? I didn’t know what to think. If it were her, or if it were just an animal. We crept forward, cautious of what was in front of us. “Rie, I don’t think the sound was anything major. It was probably just a cat,” Junji muttered from behind, which made me jump a bit, judging by the fact that he’d been silent for so long.

“Good God, you scared me there. You’ve been so quiet to the point where I even forgot you were with me,” I mutter as I take a few more steps further into the backstreet. I then turn to face Junji. “Do you think I should check over the wall? You could like…lift me up so I could see. Otherwise you could be the one who—” rudely, I get cut off by Junji, as expected.

“Rie, you don’t have to go to this extent just to find Sae Mi. She’s alright, I’m sure,” he muttered, quiet enough that I could barely hear him.

“And how would you know that?” I ask, baffled by how calm he could be.

Silence.

“Exactly. That’s what I thought.” I said with power in my voice. We stood there in the dark, almost completely silent, not even uttering a word. Silence. Then more silence. Suddenly…”Ding!” a notification popped up on Junji’s phone. He flicks on the phone and checks the message.

“Who is it?” I ask.

“Hye Yoon. She said that she’d already found Sae Mi, who was at home this whole time…” he muttered.

Disappointment rushed through me, and it was like my heart dropped to my stomach. I let out a deep sigh and shout out “Fūck you cruel world!” to everyone who was [most likely not] out. After all those hours of searching, the result I get was useless overall. I feel my legs starting to fail me, and I sit down on the hard ground, tired of walking for an estimated 4 hours. Junji slowly walks up to me, and lends out a hand, offering me to get back up. “we should just go back home. It’s late anyway,” he muttered as he looked down to me.

I grab his hand and pull him down to the ground with me, making him stumble a little. “let’s just stay here for a bit,” I say, still trying to catch my breath. We [once again] sit in silence and hadn’t dared to utter a word to each other. Why? I don’t even know. I was just too worn out to talk at this point. I then break the silence. “How can you be so calm in these situations? Like, you didn’t even make any reaction when you got he message that Sae Mi was at home. I mean, would I care? No. But as a singer, you should have more expressions and emotions, not just a simple frown or something,” I explained.

He stays silent. Of course he does. We stay like that, sat together in silence, for a time span that feels too long to actually seem normal. He speaks up. “I was always like this. What is there to react to anyway?” he complains.

“Relief? Happiness?” I suggest.

“Not with you, I suppose…” I hear him mutter. I didn’t understand what he meant by that, and it was likely he wouldn’t elaborate. “what?” I say, completely confused.

“I would’ve been feeling those, if it weren’t for you to be here, accompanying me,” he mutters.

“Oh, why you bītc—” I say as I was about to send out a fist to him. But my hand drops and I just let out a deep sigh, cutting the eye contact I’d made with him. “you know what, forget it. Let’s just…keep out mouths shut and not speak a word,” I say. Silence. More silence…and not a sound could be heard. We stay like that for a while. Guess we both didn’t really have much to say. Until he breaks it.

“Just…how can you still be so honest with me? You always have the audacity to speak whatever you want about me, and yet you’re not scared to,” he mutters. “you’re always so bold about what you say…and it’s just…hard for me to avoid you. It’s in fact really hard. And now I just can’t let go of all the feelings I’ve had for you…”

He leans in, just barely, and kisses me on the lips. When he pulled away, we gazed upon each other. I didn’t know what he’d felt at that moment, but all I could say was that…I missed this feeling. The feeling of when…my heart flutters, and I start finding it hard to breathe. When I feel my cheeks flush red, and when I feel stunned and can’t move. It’d been so long since I’d felt this…and I wasn’t used to it. But still, I knew he wasn’t being sincere. I just had a gut feeling that he didn’t, at least…

He then leans back in, and lays a hand behind my neck. He kisses me again. And then again. And again. And I kiss him back. It started off as light and feathery, then started to become more hard and intense. It was the first kiss we’ve had since last year. And yet, we weren’t even a couple that time. But should I still be excited about this? I don’t think I should. I’m sure he didn’t even mean what he’d said…

.... . ....

The annoying beep my alarm made went of early in the morning. Still half asleep, I shut it off and lay in bed, still contemplating what’d just happened yesterday. Last night, I still remember that I brought Junji home. We didn’t do anything (at least nothing too major), but just for some reason he wanted to stay over. I turned on my phone and checked the time. “6:50 a.m.” it read. Just then, I get a message from Yoojung. It was my schedule for the filming.

Yoojung: “Jin Young told me to send this to you.”

Me: “This early?”

Yoojung: “apparently so…”

Me: “Damn him.”

Yoojung: “;( anyway, u feeling better now?”

Me: “much better…at least, than yesterday.”

Yoojung: “so you can come to the film set, right?”

Me: “yep”

Yoojung: “then I’ll see you there~”

Me: “good, ‘cause I have something to…confess?”

Yoojung: “well I’ll be looking forward to that -_- …”

Me: “yeah, you better. Anyway, I’ll see you at the set. Can u send me the address?”

Yoojung: “yeah, sure”

Yoojung: “************* St.”

Me: “thanks~”

Yoojung: “Anytime!! Now I better see you there, or else…”

Me: “don’t worry, I promise I’ll be there.”

.... . ....

At the set, I see around 10 people carrying 20 different pieces of equipment around, all to different places. It was incredibly messy as well. The morning was cold, and it was still early (very early, in fact). With every breath I took, you could see the smoke in the air, and it was like I was painting it with my breath. Today’s scene was gonna be quite hard to accomplish…as well as the script to memorize. I was sat in the changing room, reading out my script again and again. Just then, I see Yoojung enter the room, his bags slipping off his shoulder messily, and him, breathing heavily, like he’d rushed here in 10 minutes. “I’m late, aren’t I?” he asked in a tired out tone.

Now that I think about it, he didn’t come for around 20 minutes when he was supposed to. “yeah, you are,” I say to him. Under his breath, I hear him curse himself, just rather quiet. And it makes me laugh a bit, judging the fact that he was in a complete mess as well. “Shall I tell you thing I mentioned this morning?” I ask as I watch him fix himself up. He then takes a quick glance at me, then back to the mirror.

“Yes, of course!! I was hyped up for this all morning!” he exclaimed.

I take a deep breath and clear my throat. “Okay, so don’t freak out, but me and Junji kissed last night,” I try to state as sternly as I could.

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