Unknown feelings

AFTER we finished eating our food in silence and did some chores. Now, I only wanted to sleep. When I went to bed room, she was sleeping there already. I went there and laid down on the bed beside her and I wanted to sleep but I was just starring her face non-stop from some minutes.

she was so innocent like a little cute girl. Her face was charming and was glowing in little dim light of room. Her hair was shining. I just wanted to touch her soft skin but I can't just touch her like that it's wrong. Seconds and minutes were going slowly slowly thousands of thoughts were running in my mind. I just can't control my mind. Before sometime I wanted to sleep badly and now I can't focus on my sleep. My eyes ahh....I'm going crazy I'm doing my best. I went close to her then I pointed my finger toward her nose and touched her face then ran my finger from her nose to her cheek. She was so soft my eyes shifted to her lips they were like rose petals, soft, smooth and pink. My desires were growing with running seconds. Her face was so close to me it was breathtaking for me.

I just went close without any thoughts in mind and kissed her it was so soft and lingering. I just didn't want to leave her then I realised that.....what I was doing? Was I taking her advantage? She thinks that I was her husband but I know I'm not then...What the hell I am..? I was disgusted by myself. Immediately I leaved her and drifted away from her. I saw she was awoke 'cause of me and starring me fearfully with wide eyes. I felt so guilty.

"I'm sorry" I said with a cracked voice to her, only these words came out from my mouth. I have no words to say to her or explain to her. In exchange she only blinked. I left the room.

..................

The whole night I slept on the couch which was placed in hall. When I woke up my whole body was in pain. My neck was hurting 'cause of no pillow around and my whole body was hurting like hell. I rubbed my neck a little to get rid of that pain. last night, I didn't sleep properly. Then I remembered something. What I did last night? I felt so shameful. it was my punishment. "Ah...it hurts my back". I stood straight and put my hands in my jean's pockets "Mumma.. It hurts." I walk towards the kitchen then started to find something for breakfast if something was there, yah ofcourse I bought some needed things last night So I have them I made sandwiches and coffee. I placed them in a tray and started to walk beside the room. I did that 'cause I felt sorry and nothing.

When I arrived there she was still sleeping in bed looking so charming....My throat was drying. Why her appearance affects me that much. I didn't wanted to be a pervert but it affects me too much... I just went to her side and when I sat down on bed she was awake suddenly. Like she was waiting already, awake. I glanced towards her face. I scanned her face in details, her brown eyes by which she was seeing me. They were looking like chocolate pool, deep down many emotions were running in them. Her little nose, her cheeks and her lips. I shifted down my eyes so I can't saw her. I didn't want to think about her. I was thinking too much. I offered her the tray of breakfast.

"I want to talk about something with you." I said to her with guilt.

She glanced towards me." It's about last night, umm I just want to..I mean I don't know what to say...what you're thinking about me now. It was not my fault actually no..I agree it was all my fault.. I mean, I was little drunk so I'm just here to say I'm sorry." I said with guilt. "I promise from now I will never come and disturb you. Here you have your full privacy and don't you worry I'm sleeping outside from now on." I just said that to her in hurry but really my body was aching, I can't sleep there daily on couch. It hurts...

She was starring me confusingly "I'll take my leave now."

"Stop!" she said in little voice. I turned towards her. Her head was down. She was biting her nails.

"You can sleep on this bed. We can share it, after all you're my husband, umm it's fine. I think about it and made that decision last night. I can't ignore your feelings towards me because of my problems. I just want some time to adjust." She said in a low pitch. I was just looking at her side when she looked at me and our eyes matched. Her face turned red like a tomato, she was blushing hardly.

"No..no.. it's not like that, I have no feelings towards you. I was just drunk. I won't do it again." I admit.

" What? you have no feelings for me? " She looked so hurt when she asked it "don't you love me and care for me?"

"No...I mean I didn't mean that by it. I mean yes offcourse I care for you." I said to her with a frown.

'I care or not care for you but one sure thing was that love wasn't my type of thing. I didn't believe in love and never wanted to love someone someday. It was just time wasting thing for me.

"Really, you care for me."She uttered with blush.

"Ofcourse I do, you're my wife and I will always care for you." I said sincerely. Really! did it mean for me. Her eyes was shining with emotions then something happened. She hugged me tightly. My eyes got widen I was shocked my heart was beating fastly then I got relaxed in her embrace like my all worries, thinking were vanished. Are hugs that much good? I hugged her back and pet her back up and down by my hand.

I think she got emotional and started sobbing. Her head was on my shoulder. I was petting her.

"Why did I just forget everything? Why did I forget you? Why this happened to me ? What if nobody was there for me? I'm scared..Promise me you'll never leave me alone."

Ah.. I was confused, should I promise her or not? I don't want to give her hopes that won't be true, I don't want to hurt her. I..

"I promise I'll never leave you and I do whatever I can do for your help." I don't know why I said that to her it's a perfect lie isn't it? I just don't know What I

Will do next? At Least I'm doing it for helping her and nothing.

"Ah I have to go for some work so can you, Can you leave me." She nodded and leaved me with a small smile on her face. I gave her a little smile too.

"Go wash yourself and finish your breakfast." I said and leaved her there.

I was ready to go outside so I decided to inform her about it first. I approached the bedroom.

Umm.... She wasn't in room, where was she? I scanned whole room then I noticed there she was coming out from bathroom ahh.. BLAST BLAST I'm going to explode.

"What are you..... ?" I asked. She shifted her head towards me and frowned.

"Why are you in my clothes." I asked her. She was in my shirt. Her hair was opened and wet. Her hair tendrils on her shoulders and some of them were on her face looks so.....she was looking so hot and gorgeous. My rooms temperature it was increasing slowly slowly. I want some air.

Um, she blushed."Your clothes l.... Ah yeah right your clothes.." She said.

I nodded "umm..cause nothing was there in this bag." She said pointed at my bag's side and rubbing her hand by her other hand. "I wanted to go for shower."

"Shower that's why you looks so h.." I was going crazy.

She was glancing me "Oh I mean you're looking so fresh..." I uttered fastly.

"Oh I have to go, I have work to do"

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Have a nice day to you all.

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