Just the beginning

When I got back, I had dinner with my new family, but it wasn't the same as before... I didn't have my siblings or mom here. Though I dislike those goofballs, I also could and would never replace them. That night I cried, cried more than I have ever, more than the night everything changed, and probably more than I ever will. It kinda confused me because wasn't this what I wanted? I'm now realizing maybe I didn't want this, maybe I just wanted to be happy. I always heard people say this was the dream life, but I don't think this was my dream life. Likewise, I went to sleep that night not knowing if I would wake up to see my old room or not. Disappointingly, I did not see my room, but instead I saw the maid telling me to wake up. I looked in the mirror just like yesterday, but this time it was different. The only thing I see now is not a superstar but a fake, a doll. A not real version of myself, like an expectation almost. It honestly felt like I had lost everything. I thought a wish created happiness, not regret. Then the maid walked in and told me the best news I could have heard that day. She told me there is a way out of this world, a way to go back home. I of course asked her how, and she said that it was simple, thankfully. She said all I have to do is find who I am. I then of course told her there's a reason I'm here, you know. And she told me something that has stuck to me even to this day. She said "there's a reason you want to leave it's not because of boredom but because of discovery, you now know that even if this is your dream life you had something much better before, love". I kinda just stood there for a moment taking it all in. Before she left, I asked her how I was supposed to do it and all she responded with was "you already know how, you just have to find it". I then said "find what", but she was gone. I tried my hardest to understand, but I couldn't figure it out. I asked myself, "will I ever find my way home". Now I'm not only lost in my mind, but in life. I had to find something, figure out anything that will help me find who I am. Something that I always struggled to answer was when people asked me my hobbies. I honestly had none and was kinda embarrassed about it. I of course lied and told them stuff my brother does. I'm just hoping that this will help me find who I am, or at least start it. I went on my phone to look up hobbies when one of my siblings entered my room and told me I had tennis lessons. At least this girl knows who she is and what she wants to do...

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