episode 5

Taehyung is a slave to his body’s desire. There’s an itch underneath his skin, a deep ache that makes him want to drag his nails down his arms and peel the skin off if only to feel some relief from the relentless stinging. All he can think about is his soulmate, his pretty soulmate who had felt so utterly perfect beneath him, smooth skin and eager lips, so willing to open his mouth for Taehyung.

“Thinking about him again?” Kim Seokjin pulls out a chair beside Taehyung and pats his back with a firm hand.

Taehyung shrugs him off, what else would I be thinking about? His soul is starving for a boy that he cannot have and maybe this is why Taehyung’s legs shake when he walks and his throat is as dry as a sand-filled wasteland. No one knows what happens when you are rejected by your soulmate, and maybe the reason why no one knows is because the rejected die.  

“It’s not the end of the world,” Jin says gently, “you’re going to be ok.”

But it is the end of the world, Taehyung wants to scream until his lungs collapse. Jin doesn’t understand because when he met his soulmate Namjoon had fallen in love with him at first sight. He doesn’t understand that when your soulmate tells you to stay away it feels like your insides are being squeezed so hard they will burst at any second. He doesn’t understand the insatiable urge to paint soft skin lovely hues of blues, the urge to hold his soulmate tight to his chest and never let him go, not even for a chance to breathe.

“Jin,” Taehyung feels his voice rasp as it drags painfully against his throat. “Am I going to die?”

Jin looks taken aback and he reaches over to run a big hand through his hair, soft and large, ruffling the strands between two fingers like he always used to do when Taehyung was a little kid. “No, of course not,” Jin purses his lips, “why would you even ask something like that?”

“No one knows what happens to someone when their soulmate rejects-”

“You’re not going to die because your soulmate rejected you!” Jin’s lips are white from how hard he is pressing them together. “That’s ridiculous, Taehyung.”

Maybe it would be ridiculous if Taehyung’s body wasn’t trembling with an unspoken desire to be near his soulmate, if his mind wasn’t in chaos and if the beaten strands of his heart weren’t trailing behind him like trampled shoelaces. Maybe it would be ridiculous if Taehyung didn’t feel like he was on the verge of death.

He stands up, “I’m going for a walk.”

-----

Jimin flits about Jeongguk like a worried little hummingbird, adjusting the ice pack on his head and making sure his hot cup of tea has cooled down enough to be drinkable, lowering the volume of the TV and fluffing up the pillows behind his back. “Drink it all up,” he urges his husband who obediently takes a long sip of the tea and grimaces at the taste of the unsweetened drink.

It’s only been about a day or so since the incident, as Jeongguk calls it in his head, and yet he hasn’t told Jimin about how he had felt the Spark with a man who claimed to be his soulmate. Hasn’t told Jimin about the kiss or that last night his dreams had been filled with blonde hair and strong hands, or that he had woken up with a hot body and yearning for a man he didn’t even know the name of.         

Maybe it’s stupid to not tell Jimin that he may possibly have another soulmate, but every time he opens his mouth he finds himself closing it quickly. Jeongguk likes to tell himself it’s because he doesn’t want Jimin to get hurt, doesn’t want him to drive himself crazy thinking that Jeongguk has another soulmate. But in reality, it’s because he wants to keep this little secret to himself. Wants to pretend it never happened despite the craving in his chest for a complete and utter stranger.

I’m married, he reminds himself. I’m happy with Jimin. So then why is his body crying out for a man that isn’t his husband?  

“I’m fine babe,” Jeongguk irritably scowls at Jimin as he tries to put another ice pack on his head. “I didn’t even hit my head that hard.”

“This big bump says otherwise,” Jimin argues, ignoring Jeongguk’s protests and piling another ice pack on top.

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