No way to be alone

Mess’ could be in a scenic beauty if life was not guided. I have no idea, why someone takes such responsibility to arrange my room. Hashu aunty knows this very well so she is never going to take chances. But Maria does not care if someone likes something or not. She does things by the will of only herself, the most annoying part of her.

I hate her. No, not hate. Oh, cannot decide.

My room should not look this much organized. I need to mess things up again, throw the bed sheet on the floor, scattered books, torn pages and throw everywhere.

But where are the pages that I threw last night?

There must be something important had written.

A line, I don’t want to lose that line.

The basket is empty. Everything is blank.

The room will never look the same as yesterday’s.

Ahhh! Damn. A strong urge of detachment in my head. I cannot explain it to others.

And a knock on the door! The poker’s sound is easy to recognize.

Sofie is there. O god! Now what am I supposed to do!

It’s really embarrassing. I shouldn’t have done this. But now I have to face. And here it goes.

‘What did you do with your room Zahid?’ fire in her eyes but scary cold voice.

What should I say? Why to speak? I better stay silent. Sitting on the chair, turn pages on of a random book.

A low like numb. So it was not Maria. Sofie does not say another word, again organizing the room. Keep turning pages over and over, over and over.

I have an OCD problem about these situations for sure.

For God’s sake, I really don’t want her to touch my guitar …..And she does!

Dragging the chair behind with a force, I’ll make a noise that will create the vibe horrific.

A monster inside …… Hungry to destroy

Rushing toward her, I will snitch the guitar and put it at my place and howl like a mad wolf. I was about to roar but she turns back and then it just happens, my roar sounds like meaw

‘Give my guitar back.’ couldn’t say anymore word as if I’ve lost my voice.

She’s staring weirdly. And where should I look at? Neither right or left or up-down-bottom is a place to keep eyes. So again start writing,

Someone would think, I am a coward but this is not the way things happen. I want to avoid unnecessary conversations. There is no point, you know?

‘Farabi is going to stay in our house for someday. He has an entry exam in your school.’

What! She says in my school!!!!

I need not ask what happen to his previous school or why he will stay far away from his parents. That’s not my business. But now I must ask,

‘And if he passes, is he going stay here forever?’ Now she can see my anger, she definitely should have.

‘Not at all, you don’t need to worry, if he stays, I will tell mother to shift him to the roof space.’ in a convenient way she tries to say. But this makes me go mad at her.

‘What? But I was asking to shift there from a very long time and got no permission. You know this issue.’

‘Well, this matter will be discussed later. I hope understand. Now would to please organize your things?’

The rooftop space has always been my dream but Maria didn’t allow and now I am all set here and this new situation, have to think detail on it but for now, I should consider, right! There’s nothing much I can say. This is good idea to make over my room by myself. She will only leave if I start to clean things up.

Not for a night or two, maybe it’ll take a week.

She said, ’hope you understand.’ Instead she could have asked if I understand and I would say, no I don’t understand it anyway. My room is my world and I don’t want someone to ruin it. Moreover sleeping is a very private time. I don’t want anyone to see me while I am asleep. I never want to share my bed, don’t feel comfortable with any other human existence at my place. They, my family should at least understand.

Long nights ahead!

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