High School 5 + Special: Tears in Kindergarten

Breakfast was cool. My dad left for work and my mom was watching some shows on TV. I joined her for a while, but I couldn't even understand what was happening in the shows because my mind wouldn't stop thinking about Sofia's word choice.

A "date"? We were going to hang out for a while in the mall, but that's not a "date", or is it? My mind was beyond confused at this point but I tried my best to shake those thoughts off my head. Of course it wasn't a date, I told myself.

Still, I had the feeling I had to look good. It was a new feeling. I didn't go out much, and when I did, I didn't care if I looked good or not, or let alone, "handsome". That word didn't even exist in my vocabulary, except for other people, that is.

I went to my room and looked outside the window. My house wasn't big and there weren't many places with windows to the outside. Actually, the only window I had access to was the one in my room. I didn't complain much, though, since I had a big yard where I could see the street. However, I didn't go there that often, considering I preferred the safety inside.

I was watching people going by but as hard as I tried, I couldn't shake off the thought of Sofia yet. My plan wasn't working. I decided to play God of Destruction. I love God of Destruction. There's a lot of action and a huge variety of monsters but it's also sort of a strategy game, so you have to use your brains, too. I was beating a horde of golems when I started feeling guilty. Every once in a while I'd feel guilty about playing video games. It was one of the reasons I was uncool, I thought; but there I was.

Suddenly, I had a realization. "Date" was just an expression. It wasn't a "real date". It's not like she's implying we're "dating". There's nothing romantic involved. The reason behind my reasoning was what I was just doing. I was there playing video games. I knew I was uncool. It wasn't only the video games, but they reminded me that there was no way a cute girl like Sofia, or any other girl for that matter would be interested in me.

I felt relieved. I kind of laughed a little. Then I smiled. Then I stopped smiling. Then I stopped playing but didn't pause the game. The golems killed my character.

Special: Tears in Kindergarten

In kindergarten, I met my wife; I wouldn't see her again in years; but when I met her again, I didn't know it was her.

It was the first time I was apart from my parents ever. They were in tears leaving me alone with a couple of strangers in charge and a lot of kids. I, however, was surprisingly relaxed. I didn't feel particularly excited, but it was a new experience and, back then, I was more of an adventurer.

While they were kissing me goodbye for the tenth time, I saw a girl crying a river at the next room's door. Her parents were leaving without looking back and she was on her knees, her face red and wet. Her teacher and the assistant were doing their best to calm her down to no avail.

I could hear the kids laughing at her. My saliva tasted weird, my heart started to beat faster, and my face started to turn red. My parents thought I was getting nervous about beginning kindergarten. It wasn't that.

During the break at 9 AM, I saw her sitting in a corner in the playground. All the kids were running around and had made friends already, but she was there all alone. That was something we had in common. It's not like kids didn't approach me; it was that I was thinking about her tears.

I went there and started to feel all red and nervous again, but I clenched my fists and decided I had to do it.

My shadow was all over her and she took a while to realize I was there. She raised her head. Snot was coming out of her nose, her eyes were red and so was her face. She was biting her lower lip. I couldn't say anything; my legs couldn't stand the weight of my body, so I sat. I looked at her hands. They were trembling. I moved mine towards hers. I felt the trembling.

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