Kagehina pt 1

When the Sun Sets (KageHina) Kageyama X Hinata Chapter one Kageyama Hinata's last three words were "Live without Regrets." How is Kageyama supposed to live with the most important person in his life now gone? Even if he wants to go and follow the latter, he can't break his promise. Maybe it's time to move on, start a new life, and accept that fate just put Hinata and Kageyama at the same place for a short amount of time. It still doesn't change the fact that Kageyama loved Hinata more than his life. If only he knew, what could happen if he wasn't ignorant and kept digging the hole—finding the exact reason why Hinata left? Kageyama took a deep breath and let the breeze flow into his skin, he stood for quite some time reminiscing Hinata's face and presence in the whole station, the first time he met him and the last time. I...will not go after him. Kageyama was quiet when he went home, day by day he would always peek into Hinata's old house doing the same routine over and over again, his parents came back but he didn't care either way. He apologized and talked to them straight, after that they left again. In the end, Kageyama was all alone. Bored, Kageyama raced with himself and ate the last onigiri at the convenience store where Hinata used to work. Moving on is so freaking hard. It was their habit, hanging out after work and playing volleyball. Kageyama went to the park, staring at the Mikasa ball Hinata gave to him. It was full of writings, wishes, and other things he can't read. Spring passed and Kageyama quit his work. It is useless if he is not happy, doing the same thing without the person he loves is boring. He couldn't move on. And to live without regrets, he has to start a new life independently. Nightfalls are different without Hinata now, as Kageyama stares at the sky he crosses his arms around himself to feel the warmth his body gives made him miss Hinata's presence. "I miss you, dumbass," Kageyama mumbles, his lips barely twitching. 3 years had passed since Hinata left the prefecture. Kageyama became a whole different person, or so he thought. It was because Hinata cut his ties with him, not leaving a single presence and trace of him with Kageyama. They never interacted, there was no closure. It was as though Hinata just passed through Kageyama's life to change it. He was absolutely surprised because of that to the point where he attempts to find him. However, he always remembers how much Hinata desperately wants to go and leave him. It made Kageyama think that it was the end and Hinata didn't want to see the one he once loved. Kageyama pulls his luggage, heading to the familiar place where he hasn't been able to go for a long time. He instantly recalls his frustration when he was heading there years ago when he forgot his wallet. The regret that could change his life. Kageyama's phone buzzed with a notification—a message. He's been through a lot these past months but it still feels innovative. The social interaction who isn't Hinata, trying new things alone, and playing the sport he used to love again. From: Hirugami-san 10:20 a.m 06/20/18 Hey, Kageyama-kun! Are you sure you're not coming with us? Someone's very noisy here! He's looking for you! A small smile formed upon his lips, appreciating the concern of his current team captain. He thinks about what is happening on the team's bus right now, the usual loud and noisy teammates before the match and a quiet as the night wore out players after playing on a long day. Besides, he wants to go to this station one last time. He never wanted to leave Miyagi. Kageyama promised Hinata that, but as he said before, the memories will always stay here and will not go anywhere. No matter what happens, he will always go back to the place he treasured so much. Unfortunately, after Hinata left, it was never the same it was before. To: Hirugami-san 10:23 a.m 06/20/18 I'm fine, but thanks for your concern. I'll try to catch up with you and hopefully arrive just before the match. Another message buzzed but Kageyama ignored it and went ahead before he misses the train again and be late just like before. The journey was smooth, Kageyama wished he could open the windows and feel the Spring breeze coming towards him, just thinking about the feeling made him goosebumps. As he stared at the beautiful countryside leaving Miyagi, Kageyama remembered his coach's offer to him. To live in Tokyo. It was his dream before—he was desperate to leave Miyagi. But it was the past, there are many reasons why he declined, and that was because he wanted to fulfill his promise to Hinata. They both want it after all. Volleyball Leagues were held in Tokyo so Kageyama had to go back and forth with a 2-hour long ride alongside him. It is tiring, of course. But just the word "Tokyo" made him feel chills, he will be in the same place as Hinata. It's not like Kageyama's expecting to see Hinata in the Largest Prefecture in Japan. But he is half-expecting to see Hinata watch his match. So as soon as he arrived at the stadium, many people were cheering on the benches with many balloons, banners, and cheering squads rooting for their favorites—the most awaited match in the Volleyball League where people around Japan were anticipating. The match between Schweiden Adlers and MSBY Black Jackals. Well, it's not like he's not excited. Kageyama's heart almost pumped out of his chest because of the loud cheers and the excitement mixed with the nervousness he's feeling. It's just...he's expecting more—expecting someone to cheer for him. Or play with him again. "And I thought we're gonna have our backup setter play in this big match." A deep, whole voice grabbed Kageyama's attention and he knew that he was referring to him. He turned and saw a man with a shaved beard, wearing a smile up to his eyes and coming straight for their starting setter. "Romero-san!" Kageyama happily greeted him, "I was just on time." He responded with a smile. Romero laughed, "I was just kidding! Someone is already bickering about his setter missing, he was so loud on the bus!" He glanced at the court, "We're almost warming up...show yourself to coach and the captain, aight?" Kageyama nodded and Romero ran to a kid waiting for him, definitely his son. After his preparation, the teams are now warming up and the cheers and screaming from the crowd became louder, shouting for different names and teams they're rooting for. He showed himself to their captain—Hirugami Fukuro, who is already building up the Adlers' atmosphere. "Hey, Kageyama! Are you ready to beat this team up?" Their captain grinned as he pointed at the team across the net—the players he can see on the television, newspaper articles, and interviews were playing against him. But it's not like he knew them completely, he barely knew anyone until years later after he tried out for this team and joined the National Team for Japan. Before, he only knew the upperclassmen setter he always looked up to in Middle School— Oikawa Tooru. Many players played for Nationals and even named titles, so he's sure that they're good at volleyball. He gave Hirugami a reassuring smile, fully confident in his abilities and ready to show the people who Kageyama is on the court. "I am. Let's do our best and win." If only Hinata was there, he would be so proud of Kageyama, he fulfilled his abandoned dream and he never became so happy in his life, and that was because of Hinata. If only he was there, he could see the growth in Kageyama, the old is gone and the new has come. Hinata told him the importance of trust and teamwork in volleyball before, and that advice led Kageyama here. He is thankful to have Hinata by his side. If only he didn't leave. "Oi, Kageyama!" The familiar tone rang across to his ears that left him a small laugh. The noisiest of them all, the person their captain and Romero were complaining about. He turned, "Hoshiumi-san, hey." Hoshiumi frowned with his arms crossed, "Give me your best toss!" He demanded. The members already knew his attitude, he can be annoying sometimes but they would always laugh at it. They said Hoshiumi hasn't even changed since high school. But for Kageyama, he always remembers someone in Hoshiumi, even their abilities and personalities are almost similar. It was as though Hoshiumi is a reference of Hinata for Kageyama. But he knew he would never be Hinata. They're completely different— they're both loud and could get along if they met. However, there's a big gap in their abilities and experiences. For example, Hinata's receives still sucks and he hasn't played an official match yet. "Later, for now, let's warm up," Kageyama said, and when Hoshiumi nodded in agreement, they both went to spiking drills. Many people were also cheering for the opposing team, the starting players on the roster were famous and skilled. He glanced at Black Jackals' setter, Miya Atsumu, who became the Nation's best setter in High School. Not just him, but the number one spiker in Japan—Sakusa Kiyoomi and another in the top five spikers—Bokuto Kotarou. Kageyama contemplated a bit, he imagined another timeline where Hinata played as an Outside Hitter for MSBY Black Jackals, he thought that would be epic. A match between him and Kageyama, and the thought of playing against another small player like Hoshiumi. If only he didn't leave. If only they could fulfill their dreams together. 'If only' could be Kageyama's new favorite word. And so their spiking drills began, each set Kageyama gave his all, the best toss—the one he's confident that his spikers will hit and score. He fully trusts his teammates, and he learned that getting blocked and all because of his sets is not the end of the world. "Ushijima-san!" He called as he gave his toss, and the large, muscular, and tall man with olive-brown hair stepped his approach and spiked the ball with so much force that he sent it flying to the crowd as it bounced hard on the floor. Everyone was shocked and amused, including Kageyama. "Nice toss." Kageyama flinched a little bit when he found Ushijima standing in front of him, wearing that stoic expression on his face and looking intimidating. He isn't used to him yet, but from his teammates' descriptions, he is just as innocent and quiet as Kageyama. The members seemed to get along well, and Kageyama was thankful they're so welcoming and kind, keenly aware that he has to get to know them more to improve their relationship on the court. "Yeah..Uhm, thanks." Kageyama answered him with a soft smile. The match began, and both teams gave their all. Everyone would be tensed up whenever Kageyama's doing his killing serve, not fully knowing who he is because of his unknown background. Schweiden Adlers have an advantage on having a talented and genius setter on their side even if the other team has one too, leading the team to victory. The team won the Championship consecutively for three years straight. Kageyama couldn't be thankful enough for this experience, but his heart still feels empty. Something is missing and he knows what it is—who it is. "Kageyama, are you sure you're not going to come with us? This is a rare celebration!" Their coach, Banjo Suzaku invited him for dinner with the team. Kageyama refused as a smile curved on his lips, "Thank you, coach. But I have to catch the bullet train before I miss it." "Eh? Then why don't you just take the team's bus with us?" Hoshiumi complained, he is still energetic after the tiring match today. "H-Hoshiumi, just let him be." Hirugami tapped his shoulders to stop him. "It's fine, Kageyama. Be safe." Their captain flashed a smile and the others joined him too. And as the sun sets, the team waved goodbye to Kageyama.

chapter one 👆

When the Sun Sets (KageHina) Kageyama X Hinata Chapter 2 Kageyama suddenly found himself in front of the second-tallest structure in Japan, an Eiffel Tower like he only used to see from his dreams—glowing with different colors as the sunsets. The view from the bottom is already beautiful, the aesthetic sky and the lights from Tokyo Tower convinced Kageyama to stay for a bit and curiously see the view from the top before he leaves. He wanted to leave immediately, but he's aware anytime soon the bullet train will leave. I can take the bus home. The thought of that made him regret refusing Hoshiumi's offer to go with them. Still, he wanted to be alone. He sighed as he walked through the crowded places packed with so many people chattering and doing so many things they wanted to do. It made Kageyama dizzy, perhaps he was tired from the match but somehow, he was eager to see the sunset from above. He went to the observatory. Kageyama isn't surprised there are so many people. This spot is the most visited in Tokyo Tower, serving its purpose because of the height. Kageyama cuts in on the people, apologizing whenever he steps into someone until he's on the window. Again, he wants to feel the breeze from the winds, the feeling is different from the ones in Miyagi, mainly because it's the countryside and full of mountains and trees, but the sun is still ethereal as it sets. The combination of the serene colors of red and orange mixed with violet and sky blue from the clouds made the sky a work of art. Kageyama stopped admiring the view as one thought flowed in his mind—the sun reminded him of Hinata, the sun's brightness is like Hinata's smile Kageyama can see every day before, but he's like the sunset now, his presence slowly fading away. "Man, I can't see Miyagi from here!" That familiar, high-pitched voice that almost resonated throughout the place made Kageyama paralyzed. He doesn't want to believe it, he thought it was a coincidence since he's just thinking about him earlier, maybe he's just imagining it. Kageyama was still frozen in his place, a lot of thoughts running into his mind, concluding that it was the person he loves the most. It was Hinata. How could he forget? Upon hearing his voice, Kageyama realized how he's just barely surviving every day without Hinata, ignoring himself, and kept convincing himself that he moved on when he knew he didn't. Many thoughts disagreed with the previous conclusion. Tokyo is a wide place, there's no way they could meet in the most famous tower in Japan alongside Skytree— It's a famous landmark, of course, there's a huge possibility they could meet again. So Kageyama searched for any sign of Hinata all over the observatory, not caring about the people he interrupted nor the ones he's mistaken for Hinata. Minutes later he still couldn't find any sign of a human tangerine. He wished Hinata could announce something again because Kageyama can't pinpoint his voice because of the crowd. Maybe it was just his imagination. Perhaps it was just a reminder that Kageyama misses Hinata so much because of the sunset. Kageyama buried his face in his palms, telling himself the theory wasn't proven. It isn't true. It isn't— "I hope Tobio's doing okay without me." Another voice made Kageyama confident the owner is Hinata. This time, the voice was quivering. It sounded like he's about to cry. Kageyama looked beside where the voice came from just one person apart. There he saw the man who changed his life, and the one who broke it. *It's been three years.* Kageyama's lips twitched as his mouth formed the words, "Hinata." Complaining how it sounded desperate. It wasn't imagination, they both knew as Hinata blinked twice, not believing who he's seeing now. Kageyama's heart skipped a beat, and suddenly it felt like they met for the first time. "Kageyama?" Just hearing Hinata say his name in front of him made his eyes drop a tear again. He couldn't believe what he's seeing now, and that Hinata isn't like the one he used to be. The person between them left as they sensed a drama going on between the two. "Is that you?" Kageyama wiped his tears, staring directly into Hinata's eyes now filled with lots of emotion. Kageyama wants to hide his feelings, now that years have passed since they last saw each other, and when he meets Hinata again he looks completely different—he's paler than before, skinnier like the nutrients from the foods he ate before weren't absorbed by his body. He looked way smaller now making Kageyama lose the mental picture he last saw on Hinata before he left. He keeps thinking about what he looked like before and now and he still can't believe it. He still can't believe that this is the result of his ignorance from before. He can't accept the possibility of it. Kageyama thought about it before Hinata even broke up with him. He knew he was acting strange, and the excuse Hinata used didn't convince him fully. But still, Kageyama clings on to that last hope, hoping that Hinata's just tired, maybe from work or something he's doing. He's probably not sick, right? He's an energetic and annoying dumbass from before. Kageyama kept telling himself that, but he couldn't stop looking at the dark circles below Hinata's eyes as he hid them from Kageyama when he noticed he's staring at them. "Y...Yeah, I'm just... I didn't expect to see you here." Hinata stuttered, his voice almost cracked from the situation. He averted his eyes from Kageyama, glancing in the window—the sunset, thinking of an excuse that could push Kageyama away so that his efforts all these years aren't worthless. "Me neither," Kageyama tried to talk casually to him. He wants to hug him right now, saying that he loves Hinata until now, setting aside the bundle of questions he wants to ask. But he contained it, for now, he doesn't even know if Hinata still feels the same way now. Just looking at him breaks his heart. Silence engulfed the two, Hinata turned back to Kageyama when he thought he wasn't staring at him and proved him wrong. Kageyama can't take his eyes out of Hinata even if he wanted to. It was painful, but he knows deep inside Hinata is still beautiful as the sun in the sky. Still, circumstances happen. They always knew that they were meant for each other and that they're fated to meet again but for what purpose? Hinata and Kageyama both convinced themselves that it was the end, the painful departure three years ago made them realize that. Deep inside they knew they wanted to see each other again. Every night and day, they would always wish for that, especially Kageyama. He never changed until now—his love for Hinata never faded. And so did their memories together, even if Hinata doesn't remember them anymore when the time comes. Though bleary-eyed, Kageyama tried to form a faint smile, telling Hinata that he was grateful to see him and he will fight for anything the universe gives. "I last saw you and met you again in Spring. It's been a long time, Shoyo." Another minute passed before Hinata opened his mouth, he sniffled. "I...I have more things to do, I have to keep going. Goodbye, Kageyama—" Hinata attempts to run away from him but Kageyama manages to grab his wrists—Hinata's pale as the snow and feeble as a stick arms. It felt different, Hinata changed a lot since he left. "Wait, Shoyo," Kageyama begged. Hinata tries to pull his arms away, but they both know he can't do that, not with them knowing who is stronger now. "Let me go." For the first time in three years, Hinata said those words without trembling but with force, those words carry determination to leave Kageyama just like the ones he did when he broke up with him. However, Kageyama isn't gonna buy this anymore. Stunned by the last sentence, Kageyama doesn't give Hinata's wrists to him, "Why are you still running away from me? What have you been doing all these years?" Kageyama may sound enthusiastic, but his words carry pressure on Hinata. If he doesn't push him away right now, all his plans and efforts to leave him will go to waste. "I'm fine, okay? I don't need you to know!" Hinata exclaims, grabbing the attention of many people in the observatory. Kageyama on the other hand, can't believe what he's saying. It's not like Hinata at all, the words he said before were gentle and reassuring but now, it can convince Kageyama that he doesn't love him anymore. "Liar! I don't believe you!" Wearing a frowning face, Kageyama answered back. Hearts thumping so fast, he knows Hinata's in pain too. So why does he insist on running away? Hinata took a deep breath, he knew this was gonna happen and this was because he insisted on not telling Kageyama about this in the first place. The regret Kuroo was talking about made him feel guilty after he left, he was never happy about his decisions, but Hinata was convinced that it was the right thing to do. Or so he thought. "Look, Kageyama. I already broke up with you three years ago, I know you're content with your life right now and so am I. So please, will you let go?" Hinata tries to breathe, shrugging those pains away, clinging on to the hope not to get attached to him again. A sarcastic laugh escaped Kageyama, "Am I supposed to believe that? Right now? With what I'm seeing? Shoyo, I know you. Do you mean what you said just now?" A queue of questions flowed into Kageyama's mind, and each of those will surely hit right in Hinata's mark. All this time Hinata told himself running was the only option, that it was alright to carry the burden all by himself. He never meant to hurt Kageyama's feelings but this is what he had to do. "Yes..." Hinata instantly regretted that it sounded so compelled. He looked straight into Kageyama's eyes. Kageyama shook his head, refusing to believe this conversation. He knows Hinata's hiding something—all this time. And he blamed himself for what's happening right now. He felt weak and scared all this time that Hinata had to always invigorate him when he can't even do that, now he's paying the price. He never confronted Hinata about it. "You said you shouldn't run away, you told me to face my fears—my regrets. You helped me overcome them. Then why are you running like a coward to the one who would have understood you the most?" Kageyama's intrusive voice was presented to the people in the observatory, it resonated and other people were already whispering about them. Hinata diverted his eyes, accepting Kageyama was right all along. "S...Shoyo," Kageyama hums, transitioning his voice to a small one as he holds Hinata's hand from his wrists with both hands. Hinata however, still not looking at him but he should've told Kageyama the truth before. The regrets haunted him for three years, neither of a million regrets left him alone. It's too late. All we could do is accept it. In the end, it's all the same. "Don't hide anything from me, please. I want you to have faith and lean on me because I trusted you all this time until now." Kageyama begged, grabbing the chance to step up because Hinata needed him the most. All this time they were parts of a whole, they understood each other the best. It can't be one-sided. Hinata tried to get rid of Kageyama's hand, but surprisingly, Kageyama obeyed. He lets go of Hinata, waiting for his response. He still loves him. Even after so many years, even if a thousand springs had passed, even if it's the end of the world, in the end, it's still the two of them. Neither of their feelings changed. And the yearning in Hinata's feelings became heavy. Hinata scrunched his nose. His face—expressionless. Perhaps he was nervously uncomfortable with the things happening right now. They were fated to meet again, Hinata can't defy what was fated to happen. "Come with me," He said, a bit perplexed like Kageyama now because of what he said. Hinata tilted his head, prompting Kageyama to follow him. "W-What? Why? Where are we going?" The questions made Hinata a bit irritated, and he hated himself for feeling so. Stupid mood swings became his habit these past few weeks, making him what he isn't used to be. "We can't talk here, there are so many people," Hinata answered. As if the people outside the observatory were scarcer, it was still crowded because of the restaurants and shops. Kageyama was expectedly surprised. Hinata was pushing him away earlier, now he's telling to come with him? For what? Though, he didn't fuss because this is what he wants. He doesn't want to get separated from Hinata anymore. "Sorry if I've been acting strange.." Hinata apologized when another dead air engulfed the two as they head to a mini convenience store with minimal people. The chattering made Hinata feel dizzy and it was as though he could hear their voices inside their heads, although he just shrugged it off, keenly aware that his mind is making it all up. "N-No... It's okay, it's just... I didn't expect all of this." Kageyama muffled, a bit louder so Hinata could hear him. They sat on a two-person seat. In front of each other, Hinata tries to form a smile, even if it's faint. "Well, I suppose after all these years I'm curious about what you're doing now.. you've changed like a lot." He left a small cackle but it made Kageyama nervous. The words coming out from Hinata made his heart beat faster as though it would come out of his chest. "I...Well, I had to try out for a team here in Tokyo and luckily, they accepted me despite my unknown background." Kageyama tried to stabilize his posture and cleared his throat. Hinata puts his elbow on the table and buried his chin on his palms, waiting for Kageyama to proceed with a soft smile. Kageyama blinked at him for a second before he continued, "My teammates were wonderful. They were kind, some of them were famous and each of them are powerhouses, it feels like I was left behind though." Hinata raised an eyebrow, "And you still kept that attitude going?" Kageyama's eyes widened by Hinata's comment, "I'm sorry about that." "No, it's okay! To be honest, I'm happy for you," Hinata said with an endearing voice that made Kageyama's heart flutter. "So you conquered your biggest regret, I wanted to say I'm proud of you. You've wonderfully changed..." Hinata paused for a bit, and Kageyama just stared at him—a little discontented and waiting for Hinata to say something. Something. "It's...nothing. It was all because of you, you've made me realize what volleyball was all about, and those pieces of advice brought certitude in our team, so thank you." A small beam curved upon Kageyama's lips, trying to contain those overflowing emotions he wanted to show to Hinata. Hinata averted his eyes by that, he was somewhat comfortable, and his feelings were now merged by happiness and sorrow. "Perhaps I should ask for your autograph now, huh? You got famous big-time." Hinata tried to keep up with the casual environment but it was as though his mouth kept saying things he didn't think twice. "Maybe fans or someone was dating the 'Kageyama Tobio' right now?" They both halted, and Hinata closed his eyes, certainly regretting what he said. At this point, the situation sank into his severe mind. "I wouldn't do that. I can't imagine myself falling in love again after what you did, but I realized it now. It was just you, and it is still you." And it will always be you. In some way, Hinata wants to sob in front of the person he used to love so much. He was grateful and relieved that it was still him even though he wasn't sure if it's the right thing now. In his limited time, he always thinks about whether falling in love and getting attached again would be the right decision to make. All these thoughts led to regrets, and it was too late to tell it to Kageyama. Hinata's time was nearly up. "Kageyama, I'm...going straight to the point," Hinata started, looking into Kageyama's eyes. He can already see the misery of it. It took a minute before Kageyama nodded, leaving Hinata a sigh. Maybe this was to make up for my regrets, but I thought it was the best thing to do. I've made up my mind without telling the person who loves me the most and it backfired. But I'm thankful for the second chance. Leaving with nothing but agony and regrets until I die truly is my worst decision. "Kageyama...I'm...dying." Hinata wants to say those words carefully so it doesn't hurt Kageyama, but it makes him look like he's in a lot of pain and he really can't handle it all. Kageyama was frozen in his place, nothing but breath coming out of his mouth. Another minute passed and his lips were twitching. He was close to crying, but he doesn't want to show his pain to Hinata, because he knows he's enduring it the most. And now, he wants to make up for the regrets he did before. Until now, Kageyama doesn't know about Hinata's condition. Or he's just denying the fact. He's been ignorant all along, and that led him to suffering All torn up, Hinata tries to smile at him, showing him that he was still the sun to Kageyama, but those smiles aren't reassuring at all. It was all unfamiliar from before, that face—those emotions looked like it wasn't a joke. A prank Kageyama told himself all those years ago. He can't deny it anymore now that Hinata said it directly to him, "I'm sorry I didn't say it to you earlier. I was afraid to hurt you. And I don't want to see you in pain when I'm no longer in this world." "I don't want to be a burden and someone you regret meeting. But Kageyama...It was hard doing all that alone. Bearing the pain without you until now is slowly killing me." Hinata's eyes became blurry from the tears that already wanted to fall, it was gloomy, and all he said was sincere. "I want to be there for you, I'm sorry I had to leave you. I thought that it was for the best but that just left me a bag of regrets." Hinata continued. Kageyama still is trying to process it all, enduring all Hinata's words and trying to understand him with all his might, and blaming himself that he wasn't good enough to make Hinata stay. "Is it..that bad? Is it that inevitable that you had to leave?" Kageyama knew he cannot bring the past and change it. What will happen in the future isn't in their hands either.They were powerless. Hopeless. Hinata gave him a slight nod, looking up at the ceiling and trying to hold it up. "I thought I would never see you again. I thought cutting ties with you would help me lessen the pain." "Did Kuroo and Kenma...know about all this?" Kageyama's eyebrows furrow. Many thoughts and memories of friends he isn't updated now flashed in his mind. They cut ties with Kageyama too and he doesn't know what happened to the pair now. "They know...all this time." Hinata's heart sank when he glanced at Kageyama, brushing his hair and grabbing it tightly. "Those headaches...vomiting....the pain you're feeling all over your body, you always said it was nothing. That it was fine, and I believe all of that. I thought everything would be alright and nothing worse would happen. You knew what would happen and yet..." Kageyama rubbed his temples with his thumb, feeling bad for Hinata for the hell he experienced until now. "Yeah...sorry, I lied." "You're getting treatments right? Please tell me you are." Kageyama looked up, grabbing the vague ray of hope as dim as the moon. Hinata nodded, and somehow, he felt solace even for just a little. Still, all they should do first is to accept the truth and the fate they were going to face. It was like the day Hinata left, it's a lot different now. Hinata will unfortunately leave Kageyama again, forever. Kageyama eyed Hinata's face again, studying it. It wasn't as devastating as he expects a person would react or look like when they learn they're going to die. Hinata attempted to hold Kageyama's hand, brushing it as Kageyama felt Hinata was still the one comforting him. His touch is colder than his warm hands before, heating Kageyama's face whenever he's trembling from the cold. "It isn't too late to leave me, Kageyama. I don't want to hurt you again. I don't want to see you watch me die." Every word is soft, carrying a gentle one that almost lost his high-pitched tone sounding like a whisper. "You've managed to live within three years without me, I know you can do better now that I'll be gone." Hinata sounded desperate like the day he left so his efforts won't go to waste all this time. Kageyama glared at Hinata like the usual, "After what happened today. I know you already know my answer, and you can't convince me otherwise." He said as he put his right hand on top of Hinata's. After five minutes of silence and still no Hinata's response. He didn't agree nor did he insist. He just leaves it in fate's hands and what it wants to do with them. "Hinata Shoyo!" A familiar voice, almost unexpected it came from him, made Kageyama and Hinata transition their attention to someone they always knew. Though Kageyama didn't budge and turned to them. The deafening, uncomfortable, silence was replaced by the pair—Kuroo and Kenma, walking straight to the feeble man and the friend they hadn't talked to for three years. "Kenma, Kuroo-san!" Hinata called with a lively tune as he stood and waved at them. "Wh..What are you even doing here? We looked everywhere for you, you were suddenly gone from our sight!" Kuroo uttered, not noticing the tall, black-haired male sitting in front of him. Though Kageyama can't blame him, they just talked through video calls and texts. And it's been a long time since they've done that, the two looked different now. "Kenma was ready to burn the building any second now!" Kuroo banters, "He looked so stressed barraging every store here!" He chuckled annoyingly, and Kenma just rolled his eyes. "Coming from you, you were so loud." "Coming from you! You were screaming Shoyo's name all over the place!" Kuroo argued back. "Yeah, right." "Oh, I'm so sorry guys! I forgot I was with you!" Hinata clasped his hands against his forehead and pressed his face hard with his eyes squinting. "It's alright, Shoyo. It's not like it's the first time you've forgotten about anything," Kenma said. He noticed Kageyama emitting some different aura. He can't tell whether it's bad or good. "How did you get here?" Kuroo asked, still hadn't noticed the volleyball player. Hinata turned his eyes to Kageyama and put his hand on his nape. "Well..." "Is that Kageyama?" Kenma rushed to Hinata's side to fully see Kageyama's face, Kuroo of course, was shocked about it and followed Kenma. "Woah, is it really him? How come we didn't notice him earlier?" Hesitant, Kageyama smiled at them. "It's been a while, Kuroo-san, Kenma." "It really is! Look at you, you've grown! Well, this is the first time we've met in person but w-wow! As expected from a professional volleyball player." Kuroo praised. Kenma thought he was a bit overreacting about it but he, too, is happy to meet Kageyama in person for the first time in four years. "It..It's nothing special. I haven't heard anything from you ever since—" Kageyama glanced at Hinata, smiling up to his eyes. When their eyes met, the atmosphere suddenly changed again. "Hinata left." All their eyes turn to Hinata who downturned his eyes on the floor. Kuroo and Kenma were there for him on his hardest times, accompanying him when they get a chance. Still, it was incomplete, Hinata still feels empty inside but thankful, that he had great friends with him. He appreciates all of Kuroo and Kenma's efforts all these years. Kenma got a hunch of what's going on, he can almost tell with the mood now, and surely, their plan almost didn't work because Kageyama already knows the truth. Kenma gave Kuroo that stare. "Did you...already tell him everything?" Kuroo asked Hinata. Hinata gave a nod and a sigh escaped Kenma. "I guess there is no lie that can't be revealed after all. I think there is no point running from him again anyways." "It's alright. I understand." Kuroo hushed, believing that all these circumstances weren't just coincidence. "Kageyama...I'm sorry." Kageyama gave them a reassuring smile. "No, you don't have to apologize. I.. understand." Even though they regretted everything, even if they apologized for what they did, it will all end with one result. So Kageyama tried his best to accept and understand what's going on. *Besides, Hinata—the person Kageyama loves the most than anything in the world, is dying. He wants to stay by his side until the time has come.* Everyone went silent after that. Hinata almost fell onto his feet, a good thing he got a grip on the table. The lights on the shop suddenly became radiant for him and it made him nauseous by the loud chattering people coming inside the shop. His headaches worsen as time passes. When Kuroo noticed it, he braced Hinata's arms. "Hinata, are you okay?" He worriedly asked. Kageyama was confused, shocked, and worried. A lot of emotions came out of his mind and it was as though he was petrified in his place, he didn't know what to do and just stared at Hinata now trying to straighten his posture. "I'm fine, Kuroo-san." He looked at Kageyama and saw the same thing he looked like when he vomited at the gymnasium. The same worried face that made him convinced to stay away from him as possible. He glanced at Kenma, giving him the Let's-go-home stare. Kenma nodded as he received the message. "I think it's time to go home. It's almost nightfall." He urgently grabbed Hinata's wrist when Hinata whispered to him. "I think it's recurring again. I don't want to see Kageyama concerned." He whispered. "Well, I think it's time to head back. Nice to see you again, Kageyama! We'll get going!" Kuroo nervously said, tapping Kageyama's tense shoulders. "Uhm...wait! Let me go with you!" Kageyama shouted when the three came out of the store. He wants to follow them, he wants to stay with Hinata, but his feet aren't allowing him to, and his mind went completely blank. His legs are shaken as he drops to the chair. People were looking at him, the famous, professional volleyball player, who'll see the one he loves the most—the person who used to be the sunshine, die. Kageyama doesn't care what people think, at this point all he cares about was Hinata. Breaking down might be pointless now, but his tears kept falling, fear overflowing his soul, probably cursing the sky for taking another person he loves.

chapter two 👆

When the Sun Sets (KageHina) Kageyama X Hinata Chapter 3 "K..Kageyama?! Why are you here? How did you find me?" Hinata's high-pitched tone resonated throughout the entire apartment. Kageyama was standing at the front door wearing a blank expression. "I begged Kuroo and Kenma to give me the address." Kageyama calmly said. It was morning, and he can see Hinata's morning devastated look. He looks like he's about to go into flames and emits smoke any time, clearly seeing that he doesn't want Kageyama here. "Sorry...did I disturb you?" Kageyama muttered. "No...I was just, I feel kinda irritated." Hinata said and scratched his head. "You don't have to be here, I'm fine." He gave Kageyama a reassuring smile. "Well, about that." Kageyama started, "I talked to your mom last night, you always tell that you're fine when you're absolutely not." Hinata sighed, "You sure are persistent." "She asked me to take care of you and watch you," Kageyama uttered. "I'm not going anywhere," Hinata assured him but still, Kageyama can't keep his guard down and can't help but feel uneasy after what happened yesterday. "I'm worried about you...for what happened yesterday," Kageyama said, his voice flowing into Hinata's ears and as the morning breeze passed through their bodies and made his head tingle, it made him feel goosebumps. Maybe, it was just his stupid disease. Hinata paused for a second, his hand still on his head, "Well, it's just the usual headache. I'm already used to it, and it's not even a big deal now. But not every time Kenma and Kuroo-san were always here. They have their own lives obviously, so I'm kinda alone... especially with my family gone." He stutters at every word he tries his best to speak. "But I think..being with you somehow eases the pain.. the headaches kill my head but I feel comfort when I'm with you and..." Hinata bypassed his attention to the clouds in the sky and smiled at the sunny weather. Kageyama's heart feels heavy, feeling bad for the pain Hinata's been enduring since they first met. "I don't think I'll ever survive another night with these so I had to admit...I want you to stay." That statement was enough to soothe the pain they're both feeling. Hinata still feels the same way as before, and even after three years, hearing these words from Hinata was more than enough for Kageyama to stay. "I don't have any intention to leave anyways." Kageyama chuckled. He subconsciously went closer to Hinata and pulled him for a hug. Hinata was shocked by the action but the bizarre warmth he felt years ago came back and he indeed, missed it. So much that he had to hug him back—tightly like it's the last thing he had to do. "You stink," Kageyama complained and ruined the moment between the two. They let go of each other, finding a new tinge of red coming from their faces for different reasons. "Do you really have to say that? Seriously?" Hinata banters but he smelled himself anyway. "Go take a bath," Kageyama ordered. Hinata's expression bartered as he raised an eyebrow. "Why?" "I'm taking you somewhere." "Wait...Woah! This stadium is huge!" Hinata delightfully exclaims as they come inside, an incredible feeling Hinata felt as he stepped inside, appreciating and examining every detail of the stadium with its fresh atmosphere from the match yesterday. But he felt something was lacking. "We won the championship yesterday." Kageyama proudly said. It's finally real. It's finally happening. Kageyama would dream about this every night for three years alone—standing in the same court as Hinata, and bringing him here, saying how much he owes Hinata and how far he became because of him. But he was never expecting another thing he least expects from Hinata. He never expects him to die so early. The sound of balls and the squeaking of the shoes caught Hinata's attention, Kageyama ventured to the team while smiling. When he noticed Hinata's not following him, he leaned back. "Come on, I'm gonna introduce you to our team." Kageyama invited him to come along. Hinata glanced at the team members, busy with their training. They didn't notice him yet. "Is it okay?" Hinata was shy but perhaps he wanted to feel and play volleyball again because he might not have the chance someday. "Of course, they know about you after all," Kageyama answered and he started to pull Hinata from his stiff wrists. "W-Wait!" Hinata hesitated, but his voice drove Schweiden Adlers' members' attention to them. "Oi, Kageyama, you're late!" Hoshiumi came rushing forward to the pair, "Oh? Who's this?" Hoshiumi raised an eyebrow as he went closer to Hinata like he's examining a volleyball match. Studying his features of the guy with almost the same height as him. "Uhh, he's Hinata." Kageyama introduced, pointing at Hinata. On the other hand, Tangerine may seem shy, but he was excited to meet one of Kageyama's friends—not to mention, volleyball players who play official matches and play for World Cups. "Nice to meet you, I'm Hoshiumi. It seems you're the one Kageyama was talking about every day. You don't seem too athletic though based on Kageyama's stories, but you're pretty small up close." Hoshiumi directly said, staring at Hinata's almost skin and bones body. Hinata had double-thought fighting in his head whether he had to sympathize with his condition—not fitting Kageyama's descriptions on what he used to look or Kageyama talking about him every day. "Uhhh, about that..." Kageyama drops a sweat on his forehead. They didn't know about the disease Hinata had until now, of course, Hoshiumi may say that, so it's not a big deal on Hinata. "You're almost the same height as him, Hoshiumi." A deep voice coming from behind made Hinata flinch as he looked up at the tall man with a fine build. "Ha! Well, this guy you are now talking to is the 'Little Giant!' Height is nothing compared to my skills!" He proudly said as he pointed to himself with a matching nod. "You're so awesome, Hoshiumi-san!" Hinata exclaims with his usual, bright eyes sparkling for the same Little Giant as him. "Of course I am! People usually underestimate me because of my height—so when I creamed them up they couldn't even say a word!" Hoshiumi gave a resonated laugh when most of the members looked at them. Hinata is overjoyed about it, the fact there is someone with the same height as him who's very skilled at volleyball made him feel honored—but he can't help feeling jealous too. He wanted to experience that too, the feeling of playing against strong players and proving wrong those who underestimate him. If only. If only he wasn't the chosen one. He has a lot of things he wants to do. Some are forgotten, some are impossible now, and some he doesn't know if he even wants to do. But he is thankful for having Kageyama again. Making him feel the excitement and happiness he was looking for, for three years. His life felt duller after he left, but now he feels more alive than ever, and that made him forget that he was dying just because he met Kageyama's friends, and going to court he wants to see, for one last time. "Oh, who are you?" Ushijima points at Hinata who is contemplating but is brought back to life when he hears that thunder-deep voice. "I'm Hinata Shoyo! I'm Kageyama's—" Hinata paused at the last sentence, searching for the next—right word he had to say on the back of his dying head. "Friend. I'm Kageyama's friend." Hinata continued, a little prick was shot into his heart, and that one word made him feel heavy. Kageyama on the other hand was squashed by that one word. It's not like he expects something else more than that. Expecting something like "Lover". But it doesn't matter what their status is, if he can still feel Hinata for him, then they're still for each other. Not to mention, Hinata doesn't have enough time to even date again. "Huh? I thought you were Kageyama's boyfriend?" Hoshiumi is flabbergasted, making Kageyama and Hinata frozen in their place. Hinata gave Kageyama a death stare, probably saying 'how-much-did-you-tell-them?' But they can't blame Hoshiumi, talkative is one of his natures. "I was his boyfriend," Hinata admitted, still staring at Kageyama. By the unbearable atmosphere engulfing them now, it could almost choke them all. The air became prickly, and the cheerful event was gone. Hinata doesn't have any intention to say his condition to the two, even if it's so obvious. He was the friendly, sociable type of guy. But he can't afford another person to mourn when he's gone. He doesn't want to hurt anybody because of him. As long as he can, he wants to leave with a smile and a death that isn't painful. "I'm Ushijima." THE Ushiwaka breaks the atmosphere with his stoic expression as he introduces himself, stealing Hinata's attention. He doesn't know how to read a room, but this is a perfect time with his awkward personality. With that line, they cracked up. "Well, I suppose the introduction is done, I challenge you to a two-on-two match, Hinata!" Hoshiumi was lively, which surprised Hinata a little. Hinata wants to, but something still feels off. Is it because he's now weak? No, he already knows about that. Hinata hesitated for a bit. He felt a tingling on his shoulders, realizing that Kageyama touched it, "Is it alright? Can you do it? You can refuse if you want." He flashed a smile and for one second, Hinata was glued to it, taking every mental picture he could of Kageyama's rarest good-looking face. "Of course I want to, who knows? Maybe this is my last time playing volleyball." He kiddingly whispered and left a chuckle, but it didn't click on Kageyama. It's not a good joke. "Don't say that, you're scaring me." Kageyama's voice almost cracked, with his last words seldom escaping him. "Well, I think we have to ask for Hirugami-san and Coach's permission first." Ushijima cuts in as he points to the members almost done practicing. "I already asked them and they agreed. A court reserved for just the four of us," Kageyama winked at Hinata. He appreciates his efforts, arranging all this for him. After all, they wanted to play with each other again. The smell of air salonpas covering the court made Hinata reminisce the first time he played with Kageyama at Sendai Gymnasium, where he forgot his sister's ball. "Bring it on!" Hoshiumi ran straight to the net and Ushijima followed him, walking with an intimidating aura. Hinata tries to follow them too when Kageyama pulls his hand to him. "What?" "Wait for a second," Kageyama said and grabbed his bag, pulling something from there. When Hinata saw it, he covered his mouth in astonishment and easily became teary-eyed because of it. "You still have it." Just by seeing, Hinata knew nothing had changed between them, and he realized Kageyama's promise to him before—and that memories never change. "Of course, you're the one who gave it to me. I can clearly remember what happened that day." Kageyama grinned as he gave Hinata the Mikasa ball with the recognizable handwriting Hinata gave to Kageyama on his birthday. It almost made him tear up, seeing that it still looks brand new, with the handwriting still vivid it looks like he gave it to Kageyama yesterday. "You didn't use it?" "Of course, just for myself though. I'm just used to cleaning it because of my sister's." Hinata smiled, denying the fact that he liked it. Kageyama takes care of it and never gives it to anyone but he often uses it. "I figured I want to use it now," Kageyama added when Hinata took the ball. "Hey, you're taking so long! I want to play with Hinata now!" Hoshiumi demanded. The pair both giggled because of it, and somehow, Hinata seems like he is seeing his other self on Hoshiumi—the person he used to be. Schweiden Adlers' members already left with Kageyama introducing Hinata to them. They were very fond of him, but they couldn't help themselves worry about him when they saw Hinata's body—screaming "I'm sick." When it's just the four of them in the empty stadium, they instantly start with a loud screaming. Even if it's draining, Hinata was still the loudest, Hoshiumi shouted with him that it made the two more annoying, and Ushijima out of place but still blends in because of Kageyama—sharing one brain cell with him. Even though Ushijima and Hoshiumi didn't treat the match seriously like a real game, the Little Giant is still determined to play against the other one Kageyama used to tell him. It was far from his stories, but other than Hinata's physical appearance, the other descriptions were true—Hinata is like the sun that even though he's in pain, he smiles like the usual nature of him. For someone who barely knows him, of course. But for someone like Kageyama, he certainly noticed the changes. The match was Ushijima and Hoshiumi versus Kageyama and Hinata as expected. Hinata barely gets any spikes in. He can't even jump fully like he did when they played before. Kageyama never forgets about that moment, it was as though Hinata was flying. Now, just a spike approach, and Hinata's already exhausted. His potential was gone a long time ago. "Are you alright, Shoyo? Do you want to take a break?" Kageyama sounds worried, it grows even more when Hinata doesn't respond—his knees on the floor. His soul, downturned. "No...I...can still keep going," Hinata optimistically answered when the other two were already attempting to come to the other side. Though weak, Kageyama believes in him, Hinata's not the type to give up that easily. He's the one who encourages Kageyama to play again. He made him who he is now. To Hinata, Kageyama is the best setter. He still knows that as he spiked a ball, given by a toss coming directly to his palms like what he did four years ago. Ushijima and Hoshiumi sure are shocked at it, it earned their respect from the start. Especially Hoshiumi, he always acknowledges Hinata even from Kageyama's stories. He wanted to meet him someday and play against him. Hoshiumi's respect for Hinata went higher knowing his condition now and how he's enduring it all until now. Kageyama celebrated and went to Hinata for a high five, but he paused when he perceived Hinata not even budging nor changing his expression. "Nice kill, Hinata!" Hoshiumi exclaims. Hinata gave him a faint smile, "Yeah...thanks." Hearing that from someone a million times better than him made Hinata somehow feel great. He thought of this for a long time, how it felt hearing that from his teammates when he scores, and the cheering from the crowd would make Hinata feel butterflies in his stomach. Kageyama's still frozen in his place, he doesn't say a word. Worried, when Hinata looked at both his palms, examining the texture of the ball in it. The deafening silence engulfs the four of them again. "Aren't you happy, Hinata?" Ushijima spoke, the three were flabbergasted—Hinata was acting strange suddenly. At this point, Hinata now knows what's wrong. It was not the same it was before. That thought made him sob silently in tears, he couldn't help but fall on his knees again and Kageyama hurriedly held his arms. "Oi, Shoyo! What's the matter?" Kageyama said, his voice as weak as Hinata. Hoshiumi and Ushijima went swiftly to them but still kept a distance for the two. Seeing Hinata cry deeply hurts Kageyama. Seeing him weak and not being able to do things he used to do made him fragile, but he chose to be strong. Because if both of them aren't, then who will? "I...never thought this day would happen..." Hinata sniffles, trying not to show anything to the three. "I felt something was off... but I ignored it... convincing myself that it will never happen... whatever it takes, I know my love for volleyball would... never fade." Hinata's voice was shaken in the last few words. "I wanted to feel the excitement again. I wanted to play again. I want to play and hit your tosses again, Kageyama!" He looks at him with yearningly eyes, and seeing it from someone Kageyama least expected would make his heart sink and shattered into pieces. "I wanted to feel the familiar atmosphere of the court and try to do my best to bring back my love for it because it might be my last..but It's long gone now. I can't feel any excitement playing it now, especially...spiking." Kageyama can't help but pull Hinata onto his arms, tightening it, saying that everything's going to be fine in his mind until he hears Hoshiumi sobbing in the back too. Kageyama knows Hinata best, and he knows he loves volleyball more than him—more than anyone else in the world. Not playing volleyball was Hinata's regret and losing its spark and its love for the sport is something Kageyama unlooked for. Nothing hurts more than Hinata not enjoying the things he used to love. "Damn it, Kageyama...I don't want to lose everything. I don't want to lose anything anymore." Hinata's voice trembles. Kageyama hushed him, "Everything will be fine. Trust me, you'll be fine. I'm not going to leave you." Even if everything fades away from Hinata and loses everything, there's still someone he's sure will never let go of him nor leave him.

chapter three 👆

When the Sun Sets (KageHina) Kageyama X Hinata Chapter 4 It was the first nightfall Kageyama and Hinata spent after four years. It still feels nostalgic whenever Kageyama recalls the nights they spent in Miyagi. As Kageyama walks Hinata home, he couldn't help but feel uneasy on their way. Hinata never said a word after what happened earlier, a good thing Hoshiumi and Ushijima understand the situation. Hinata was quiet and he was quite embarrassed after crying in front of them. Now he intensely feels like a burden to Kageyama. Hinata tightens his grasp on his jacket and heaves out a sigh. The air was knotty, it made him hard to breathe, and so his chest felt a lot more cramped than before, making him gasp for air a lot faster. When he stopped walking and felt his chest, Kageyama noticed it and went closer to him. "Oi, Shoyo. Are you alright?" Kageyama's hands were uneasy and kept flapping them. He then tries to put it in his pockets to ease this feeling. However, Hinata didn't answer. He tries to calm his breathing as he walks, ignoring Kageyama's question. They then pass through a street, bright lights illuminated the two from the buildings coming from the city. Though they seem distant, for Hinata, it was as though it's blinding him. Added by the loud noise only he can hear. He rubbed his temples, the air mixed with the migraines he often feels at night made him feel like he's drowning in the air. "Damn it, not again!" He exclaims. Kageyama swiftly rushes in front of him. He touches Hinata's face with both hands as gently as possible to make him calm down. "Are you having headaches again?" "Wh...What?" Hinata can't seem to process what Kageyama said so he pounds his head. "It hurts again every time!" Hinata groans as he hits it, squinting his eyes. His headaches frequently occur now. "Dumbass! Don't hit it, it will only make it worse!" Kageyama mutters, he grabs Hinata's arms that are trying to pound his cancer head even harder. "I...I think you should leave, I-I'm already near my home." Hinata suggested and Kageyama didn't like that. After all this time, Hinata still wants him to leave? "I'm not gonna leave. After what you're experiencing right now? You can't possibly handle all this alone." Kageyama interjected, when Hinata opens his eyes, all he can see is a blurry vision—Illuminated light that can't possibly be from the city but can also be from the streetlights. Hinata knows it more than anyone. He knows the feeling since he was diagnosed. He doesn't even want to bring up his condition. It'll only make him worse. "But I've handled it for four years! I'm certain I can endure it until the time comes!" He exclaims, his high-pitched tone was ringing on both his ears, replaying what he said over and over again in his mind. "What makes you say that so quickly? Does dying mean nothing to you?" Kageyama regretted that he sounded irritated as he said that, his eyes widened when Hinata slowly stepped back from him. "S-Sorry...I didn't mean to—" "Honestly...I'm scared. Every day fear consumes my head, thinking if I can survive another day. Who knows? Maybe I'll die tomorrow or the next day, and thereafter. I never really want to care about my time. I just want to do what I can before my time is up...But it's super scary to be on death row, not knowing what will happen next or what I will lose next. I never wanted any of this, I wasn't like this before..." Hinata's personality drastically changes as time passes by, making Kageyama adjust to everything Hinata does on this day forward. Kageyama heaved out a small sigh as looked up at the night sky finding something that would ease their feelings. But it was different—it wasn't like the peaceful nights they spent in Miyagi, well for Kageyama. "I was never happy about this, nor does dying mean nothing to me. I just... wanted to accept my fate and try to live with my remaining time." Hinata tries to calm his voice as he imitates Kageyama and looks up in the sky. The moon and the stars shone above them, it was beautiful, yet painful. It made Hinata hate the nights, knowing that he'll barely get any sleep or undergo the hell his head gives. Every night he cries alone. And because of that, he misses his home a hundred miles away from where he's standing now. "Maybe I'm afraid of the nights, I always thought the dark was swallowing me up, making my head spin. The lights weren't giving any help either." Hinata continued as he brushes his hair, hoping that some night breeze would ease his fear of the night and comfort him. But it was never to be found. "This seems like a never-ending nightmare, the painful feeling over and over again, through my darkest nights I feel like the light of hope is slowly fading," Hinata said again. When Kageyama had enough, he went closer to Hinata and held his hands, squeezing them firmly and it was as though an electric current had been sent from Kageyama to Hinata, making his body flinch a bit. They were like that for a minute. Kageyama wasn't looking at him but down on the ground. When he finally decides what to do, three words come out of his mouth, as gentle as the night's supposed to be. "Come with me." Even though Hinata's in pain, he still flows and lets Kageyama take him to the place where he can see probably the most annoying things Hinata sees—the things he fears might trigger something in his head. They were just near Mt. Fuji when Kageyama brought Hinata there. They didn't go any further and just stayed where they were. Hinata was perplexed by Kageyama randomly taking him here instead of taking him home or leaving him. But there, he could see the view of the fluorescent lights coming from the city, a place—the polar opposite of what Miyagi looks like made Hinata miss his old home. But he also can't stop looking at the beauty of it from afar. The buildings were enormous if you're nearby it and the lights make Hinata dazed, his head spinning and prickling him like crazy. He almost had thought of slashing his head so that he doesn't experience aches anymore. The breeze from the mountain flew through Hinata making his body shiver. He complains about the lack of air earlier, but when it's present, his body almost can't handle it. Kageyama rivets at Hinata's expression, his reactions, and what he's about to say. He thought about various things when he decided to stay in Tokyo in the meantime. The clouds tore apart, revealing the moon shining just above the buildings in the city, making the view more beautiful. No words were spoken at that moment. Kageyama then decided to speak up first, since he didn't tell Hinata why he was brought here in the first place. He pulled Hinata on his shoulder and pressed his head to lean on it. It somehow managed to calm Hinata's nerves as he stared at the view, forgetting about the pain he's feeling, the disease he's experiencing—all to embrace this time with Kageyama. "Do you remember when we used to look at the sky before?" Kageyama's voice was clear but tried to be mellow like the wind. Hinata responded with the slightest response, "Mmm." He gave a meager nod on his shoulders but it almost made Kageyama jump when his voice sounded weak and faint. "Honestly...I can't remember.. I forgot what i-it looks like because the nights here haunt me every time that it overflows...in my head..more than those good... memories." Hinata felt his body quiver as the temperature got cold on the mountain. They weren't as high yet it's still cold. Kageyama felt pity for Hinata. He wants something to convince Hinata to not be afraid of the nights. If only they were in Miyagi. If only they could go there for one last time, even just for a minute. If only they could go back in time where everything doesn't go wrong. Kageyama puts his left hand in front of Hinata. He tried his best to stay awake and give attention to Kageyama. Hinata blinked twice, hesitating to ask a question like what the hell is he doing so suddenly, looking like he's begging for money or something. So instead, he stared at it. "Hold my hand." Kageyama felt his face heat up when he glanced at Hinata just staring at his hand. He gave signals before to hold it but perhaps Hinata was driven by the wind. He was flustered when he had to say it directly to him. Hinata didn't say a word and slipped his right hand, intertwining with Kageyama's. It felt soft but cold. Kageyama's hand wasn't the type to warm Hinata since Hinata's the one who has and does that. Even so, as Hinata wrapped his left arm around Kageyama's waist, it made him feel tickles throughout his body and it was as though it sent warmth into him, making Hinata more sleepy than he is now. Kageyama can feel Hinata's breath escaping him and he can see the mist coming out from it. Kageyama attempted to say something but somehow hesitated until a yawn left Hinata. Kageyama grinned, "Are you sleepy?" He asked. "I...think so, yeah. But I'm glad... it's not like it usually happens all the time. It was very unexpected. Being sleep-deprived is... kinda my ritual now, I got used to it, but the pain it's giving me kills me for four years. But I think I might be able...to sleep now." Hinata's last sentence made Kageyama feel electrocuted. He was petrified in his place, not even budging. He convinced himself what Hinata meant wasn't the one he thinks. That thought haunts him every night. Nonetheless, Kageyama was glad Hinata might be able to get some sleep, hoping that it'll get him through another day. He's gonna get better soon. I know it. Another forty-five minutes passed since they went here and the temperature keeps dropping as time passes, so Kageyama wanted to at least talk to him before they came home. "Shoyo, I want to let you know about something," Kageyama whispered. Due to the wind, Hinata felt shivers curl on his spine. "Hmm? What is it?" Hinata cleared his throat when his voice became raspy. Kageyama heaved out a sigh but a smile found his face. It's not like Hinata can see it, they're still staring at the beautiful view of the night sky and the city lights. They enjoyed it even though everything might go wrong anytime, any day—everywhere. They had fun looking at it and allowed the breeze to engulf their bodies because it might never be the same again. "Please, Don't carry all the burden because you're not alone. I'm here, we'll suffer together and go through these nights." Kageyama promised him, convincing and preparing himself for what's about to happen and what may happen after this night. After all, they were each other's strengths, and they were also each other's weaknesses. "O-Of course...furthermore, I couldn't do these things without you,." Hinata reassured him by smiling as he looks up to the one who made him realized that accepting death that easily is stupid. He'll fight, and he'll win. For Kageyama, and his loved ones.

chapter four 👆

When the Sun Sets (KageHina) Kageyama X Hinata Chapter 5 « PreviousNext » Two months had passed since Kageyama and Hinata met in Tokyo Tower. Nothing much changed since then, but Hinata's condition got a lot worse than before. He had trouble keeping his posture as he walked, trying his very best not to stumble. He often had mood swings too, sometimes it gets on Kageyama's head. But when he thought about Hinata dying—he might as well understand him and spend time with every chance he gets. Hinata experienced panic attacks at night especially when there's a thunderstorm. He couldn't handle so much noise nor brightness. Even so, he was still the sun like before. Every time he does this, Kageyama couldn't help but fall in love again. Making it harder to leave him. But sleep left Hinata a month ago. He had trouble sleeping and his dark circles grew bigger. However, he still refuses to be admitted to the hospital, taking every ounce of the medicines he had to take to make it and survive another day, experiencing the same pain all over again. Thankfully, Hinata never experienced a major seizure. It was Hinata's biggest fear before, and now it was Kageyama's too. Kageyama never left his side though, even after training he would come straight to Hinata's house, greeting the setter with a feeble smile, but the gleaming eyes never left Hinata, knowing that Kageyama was still there—for him, through his ups and downs. Kuroo and Kenma would hang out with them often, eating at a restaurant—Kuroo's treat. Hinata would rather order something easy to digest than eating something he doesn't even know if it's the one that'll make him die. And Kageyama would reminisce their memories in Miyagi before, telling every detail to Hinata every day in case he was feeling down or when the day comes and his memories would be washed out from his head too. Kageyama realized Hinata was still the pure, innocent, sunshine on a withering body. Two months later and it's already the most anticipated event in Japan—the World Cup where countries from all over the world compete for victory. It makes everyone excited, especially Hinata—not that he wanted to play, but because he was proud of Kageyama achieving his dream of becoming the country's setter and going against the world. He wanted to go more than anyone else. He wanted to watch from the front row seat and cheer for Kageyama with all he had even if he couldn't. Even when Kageyama told him not to come. But for Hinata, this moment was once on a blue moon. It was as rare as getting high grades at school. For Hinata, it might be the last time he will see Kageyama play volleyball—the sport he used to love before fate freely decides what to do with him. Hinata snuck out of his house, leaving the painkillers that never eased his headaches and that he never really took them. After all, the treatment he's getting didn't affect what he's experiencing. Hinata might still jump out of the bed as he blinks and sees someone he never saw in his whole life. Hallucinations freak Hinata out. He never informed Kenma or Kuroo about going, nor did Kageyama. He never intended to. Recklessness immersed Hinata's mind that made him bring himself to the Tokyo Gymnasium. He hasn't even stepped in the main court and he could almost hear the loud cheers and voices of the crowd ringing on both Hinata's ears that made him cover it. He already knows it's gonna happen but he didn't mind it. He regretted not taking the pills a little but he's keenly aware it's not gonna help either. His body refused to take a step and Hinata would force himself up, enduring the dizziness his head gave. As he came closer, the sound of the balls, the whistle, the announcer, and the cheering became a megaphone that was stuck in his mind. Perhaps he was taking too long, the match was already halfway when he arrived. As he struggles to keep up because of his blurry vision—people walk past him, glancing at him like he's some weird man struggling to walk. It's not that obvious, given by his frail body, shivering just by the air conditioned arena. But Hinata's still careful enough to wrap himself three times with clothing, making it even harder to walk. After another minute he finally arrived at the top row, seeing the whole arena—the crowd wearing annoying red t-shirts, balloons all over the place. Red everywhere represents the land of the rising sun. It was as though Hinata was the only outcast here, wearing bright yellow that made him stand out from the others. He scrunched his eyes and examined the whole court but it was too far away from him. He attempts to go down by the front row seats, hoping to get a better view and see Kageyama. Fortunately, it was a timeout. But it wasn't Kageyama whom Hinata noticed first, as soon as Hinata saw Japan's team—a huge 2 meters tall guy with the surname 'Hyakuzawa' on his jersey. At Hinata's peripheral vision, he was enlightened to see Hoshiumi hitting someone with a black-hair and tall guy with the surname 'Sakusa' on it. Just seeing the members of the team made Hinata happy and envious at the same time. His smile went up to his ears when he finally saw Kageyama talking to another guy with blonde-bleached hair. The jersey had 'Miya' on it. Hinata attempts to call Kageyama when Kageyama has gone out and ventured somewhere else as if someone called for him. Hinata's eyes widened when he saw Kageyama interact with Kuroo, currently wearing a suit. They don't seem happy, they seem to keep their expressions neutral. Crap! I totally forgot Kuroo-san works here too! Hinata gulped with the thought of Kuroo lecturing him, but he never thought about Kageyama breaking his *** down when he learned Hinata watched his match when he told him not to. Not to mention, Hinata only realized this when he already screamed Kageyama's name on the side of the arena. Kageyama was solidified in his place as he stared at Hinata, and couldn't believe what he's seeing. Ushijima notices where Kageyama's staring and the other starting members convert their attention to the frail guy probably on death row right now. Slowly, Kageyama now wears a frowning face, mixed emotions of anger, and other negative things they both don't want to happen at this point. Kageyama went closer to the railings, giving Hinata the death glare that might finish him off today. "Stupid! What are you doing here? I told you not to come!" His veins nearly popped out, they were in the middle of a match—a timeout. Fortunately, only a handful of people could hear them due to the loud noise caused by the crowd. Kageyama was very aware of this and concerned about Hinata, explaining his anger now. Hinata downturned his eyes on the floor, "But I wanted to cheer you up. I wanted to watch you play in the World Cup you always want to—" "Still! It's not an ample reason to get reckless and risk your life! What if something happens to you?" Aggressiveness was traced to Kageyama's voice, making Hinata flinch even though they were many inches away from each other, railings from the seats as a boundary. "Just for this once I want to come! Yes, what if something happens to me? Then I'll never see you play again!" Kageyama heaved an exasperated sigh, "So you're saying watching a volleyball match is more important than your life?" "It's not like that! I wanted to—" "Dumbass! Did you even think about the risks? Shoyo, I can't afford to lose someone I love the same way as what happened to my sister! Because I...I would never forgive myself if that happens!" Kageyama's voice suddenly changes, it shakes as he recalls what happened to his sister. "Kageyama..." Hinata brings him back to reality. Hinata looked at him with endearing eyes and it almost made Kageyama burst into tears and hug him tightly when a smile flashed on Hinata. It was a complete, different one from the ones he used to show where it seems forced. The smile Hinata shows was always reassuring to Kageyama. It will always comfort him. But as it curved on his lips, it was sincere and beautiful than any other. And suddenly, Kageyama saw Hinata come back to the sun—bright as the day when he first met him at the train station. It eases Kageyama's anguish, and it drastically drops to a sentimental one. He took a mental picture, appreciating its beauty—shrugging all the pain away and all the risks that could happen. "P-Please... do me a favor." Hinata carefully spoke, his lips wanting to twitch but his smile never fades. Telling Kageyama what he feels about it. And it was as though the noise left, leaving nothing behind but Kageyama and Hinata. "At least...let me watch you play volleyball... for me... for one l-last time.." Hinata's voice became rough in the last part. He extremely despises words like 'Last' and 'Goodbye.' Because he strongly believes that it was never the end. Kageyama responded with a faint nod as he sniffled and headed back to the bench. Hoshiumi and the others were waiting for him there, worried, concerned about the two. He turned back and he was relieved when he saw Hinata. It was ample to know that he's there. The person who changed his life is still there, breathing, alive. Hinata threw a distant fist bump to Kageyama, forming the words that barely come out of his mouth. "You can do it." Kageyama did the same gesture too, the bright lights from the arena made Kageyama's face serene. It was beautiful, believing in Hinata and hoping several times to fate to grant his wish and he somehow remembers what Hinata said to him before he left three years ago. "Live without regrets." After that, the atmosphere of the arena seemed to change a lot. The members were as motivated as ever, making their comeback and surpassed their opponents—Brazil causing them to win the first set. Hinata cheered with all his might and that seemed to affect Kageyama's play in a good way. Even so, Kageyama can't let his guard down and was attentive to his surroundings. Every quick, serve, and receive he did were on point making the crowd overcome the arena with their cheers. Hinata's headaches worsened during the match. Even if Kuroo was there to accompany him, saving the lectures later with Kenma, it still doesn't stop the brain cancer from spreading on Hinata's head. Or so Hinata thought. He was confident that he could endure the pain until the end of the match—until they got home. Hinata's chest became tight and his heart was beating so fast it made him gasp for air again. His head was quaking as the cheers got louder, hearing nothing but an eerie sound ringing in Hinata's ears, experiencing something greater than before. It was a bad feeling and he couldn't focus on the match. This is the moment he realized, he regretted not taking his medicines. He regretted the things he still doesn't say to Kageyama. He still hid from him and lied to him. He was scared. Hinata managed to hold the pain until the final set, where it's Kageyama's turn to serve. Hinata cheered with his high-pitched frail tone, cracking as he spoke. It was a match point. A winning point against the undefeatable team Brazil. That thought made the team and the people crazier. Kageyama spins the ball— he's sweating nervously, his heart is beating hard convincing himself that it was because of the pressure the crowd was giving but he realized it was something else when a bunch of people were surrounding the spot where Hinata's watching. He was frozen in place, the players transitioned their attention there when Kuroo's voice resonated, yelling. "Call the ambulance immediately! Now!" Kageyama forced himself not to start panicking when the memory of his sister collapsing flashed in front of him—where he saw Hinata unconscious on the floor. It was his worst-case scenario on an important event of his life. But he's keenly aware of what's more important. He knew it could happen. He tried to prevent it by driving Hinata away, blaming himself a million times that he didn't insist. It wasn't an ordinary headache Hinata's enduring. He didn't tell Kuroo about it either. Instead, he chose to cheer for Kageyama's match. It was a seizure—Hinata's biggest fear.

chapter five 👆

TBC