And This Is Where It Starts

"How was your day, dear?" my mom asked.

"It was okay.. ", I uttered those words as I looked out of the window of the car. "Did something happen?" she asked.

"no mom.. We just watched a movie and had milkshake..", I looked at my mom and raised the milkshake that was in my hand.

We reached home, as soon as we entered the house, I ran upstairs to my room.

I'm useless. Nobody even likes me, not even a bit.

. . . . But Why. . .

. . . . . . . Why am I crying again. . . ?

. . . . . I need to stop this. . . .

I can't help it. . .

. . . It hurts. . .

The next day. .

It's time for school. .

I cried myself to sleep. .

I'm over it. . . I swear I am. . .

I yawned and rubbed my eyes. I whisper softly to myself, "I'm home.. and in my room".

I looked at the time. "Jeez! Mom why didn't you wake me!!" I screamed from my room as I got ready. I made my way downstairs. "I'll be leaving now", I told my parents as I picked up my bag. "Aren't you going to eat?", mom asked. "I'll get something at school", I replied. "You need to eat, son", dad sipped on his coffee and said, "or else you'll be dizzy at school". I kinda don't like eating in the morning, I groaned softly, "I promise I'll get something at school".

I arrived at school, my head's down, I just see feet and hear people talking about me.

It's.. Sickening. . .

They say I'm rich. . .

Truth be told. . .

I never asked to live like this. . .

I can't help it if my parents are good at what they do. . .

And my secret. . I'm a well known writer by name but not by appearance. I would never show my face on the internet. I got in class, same old, same old it's just 11th grade, so what.

My heads still down. I hear them, talking about me, but. . .

No. . .

. . . . . That's not me. . .

. . . . They know K.N. . . .

They don't know me. . . . . .

"K.N'S new story is amazing!"

"I want to marry him!!!"

"I relate to his stories all the time!!

"K.N strikes again"

I hear this and I'm proud, proud of myself, I get money for writing my own messed up stories, people like it and I've been doing this for 3 years. . . I never told anyone about it.

"Kari-san! C'mere!", he waved at me.

That voice, I raised my head, it's Max Yu. I smiled and cheerfully said, "Max-san, good morning", he's half Japanese like me, which brings me back. . .

My nationality. . ?

Am I mixed race?

Or. . ?

Nevermind. .

I walked over to where Max is, right there by the window, my seat. "What are you guys talking talking about?", I asked Max. "The usual", he chuckled and said, "Luke always talks about it, nothing new"

Yeah he does, Luke Andrews, a basketball and baseball player, he's the loyal type of guy, according to him. My question is. .

Why does he always talk about sex?

He only had one girlfriend. . He's still with her. . Does it mean they engage in sexual intercourse?

Is that what a relationship based on? Or is it something else? "I'd wait until after I get married", Jake said.

Jake Adams, the jock of the class, top baseball player and captain of the basketball team and he is popular with the girls but hasn't been in a serious relationship. "Kari? What about you", Jake asked.

. . . What about me. . .?

I don't even know how to talk to girls. . .

How can I engage in sexual intercourse, I mean I could? But I choose not to use a girl, for what? To fulfil sexual desires which I don't crave? There's nothing more revolting than being in a relationship with someone you don't love, meaning, she can love me, but I don't love her or vice versa. I personally don't like hurting people, which is why I help people, it's never a 'no' from me.

"I'll wait until marriage", I uttered. Jake excitedly said, "that's the spirit!" I wanted to say something but, "Did you guys hear that there's two girls from the 11B coming here? They're going to be in our class", Luke said

New girls? That nice. .

Do I care. .? No. .

Classes had to go on so it was normal, getting our subjects in place and everything.

Interval came up. .

"Luke and Max are at the chill place, waiting for us because Mr. Andrews wants to talk to us", Jake reminded me. "I completely forgot", I said. I reached my locker and I'm looking for my phone, I can't find anything anywhere because I'm nervous, I was never called to the principal's office before.

"What are you looking for, Kari?", Jake asked in a confused manner. "M-M-My phone. . .", I said in a sad tone. Heck! If I lost my phone, what can I do, my laptop is at home, but I need my phone.

Jake chuckled and said, "Kari?"

" . . . Yeah. .?", I said.

He shuts my locker, glares to the side and said, "It's in your back pocket, dude"

I still have books in my hand, I felt embarrassed, I dropped them in front of me.

"M-my bad. . . ", I rubbed my eyes, people were looking at me, I'm embarrassed. I raised my head and. .

These two girls walked by, who are they?

. . . I don’t know. .

They're unfamiliar. . .

They're out of my league. The one caught my eye, but what will she see in me. .

. . . Wait. . .

My heart. . .

. . . What is this feeling. . .?