Unwanted Affections(Chapter Four)

My Father's concerns were very valid. He had every reason to worry that his only child might end up alone.

Here, I'll tell you why;

I wasn't like the girls in the village at all.

Where young girls my age liked dressing up and generally looking pretty everywhere they go.

(so they look their uttermost best for potential husbands.)

I preferred comfort and effectiveness. Low heeled shoes that suffocated your toes or anything high heeled that just downright punished your feet were a big no for me.

In fact I preferred wearing boots that men usually wore. The were more balanced, sturdier and lasted a lot longer. Also they allowed me to run and move freely.

My dresses where cut like riding dresses with slits on both sides, all for better movement.

You should have seen the tailor's face when I asked him to make me a pair of trousers to wear under my dresses.

My hair was another issue; it being dark brown and very wild. I occasionally try to tame it but I don't succeed all the time.

Mrs Bernard had taught me how to put my hair in a bun but I don't do it very often, only for really really special occasions.

I put it in a ponytail when I work, but most times I just let it fly about wildly.

My thoughts were interrupted by a very rough knock on the door.

Who could it be? It was passed midnight and nobody in their right mind would ho knocking on someone's door at this time of the night.

Maybe I had imagined it? Whoever it was knocked even harder.

No that was definitely not my imagination.

Carefully placing the book in my hands on my Father's study table. I reached under and removed the revolver from underneath the table and got up. Walking to the door with my hands behind me, the gun in my right hand.

There were rumours about robbers attacking travelers on the road and households without the protection of strong young men.

"Who is it?" I said loud enough to be heard by the person knocking.

"Beeeellllaaaa...!

" Gabriel what are you doing here at this hour! "

"Let me in my love, I need to see you im-im-im-mediately... Huuuuck."

As I open the door I yelled "are you drunk!?"

"And why in the name of the gods did you decide to come here instead of going home?"

"I needed, I needed, I needed. Tommy! What was it I needed again? "To see her?" I heard him reply from behind Gabriel.

Yes! to sssee you and plead with you..."

Of course there's no way he would have come this far on his own in his current state.

"Don't deny me my love" he said that making a move to step forward, I shut the door I stepped outside instead all the while, with my hands still behind me trying my best to stare him down. I barely reach his shoulders in height so it was difficult.

"Tommy why by the name of the gods did you bring him here instead of taking  him home?"

"He insisted and he was very persuasive with his emmm...strength.

There wasn't a lot of distance  between me a Gabriel now and he was taking another step forward.

"Let me in...and I'll show you exactly why you should be with me. I promise you will like what I would do to you..." His voice became deeper.

If I wasn't suffocating on the heavy smell of alcohol coming off of him I wouldn't have thought he was drunk, because he didn't sound very drunk just then.

The change in his manner and voice sent a shiver of fear up my spine.

Without thinking I pointed the gun at him.

He looked very startled, so he wasn't too drunk to recognize a gun. Good.

"Get off my property!" I said with authority and courage that I was currently not feeling.

"Sooo...feisty makes me want you more..."

I lifted the gun and pointed it at the space between his eyes. And I was sure he saw no fear in my eyes, the moon was shining bright enough.

As he saw the look in my eyes he raised his hands in surrender.

"Take me home, will you Tommy? I suddenly feel very faint."

"Until next time Bella." He said with a good measure of promise in his voice. And both he and his companion retreated.

I stood there with the gun in my hand until I could no longer see them.

I went back inside and went straight to bed but I really didn't sleep the rest of the night.

I've never thought of my self as beautiful or even pretty, so any advance from any man really surprised me. Because I almost immediately wondered what they saw in me.

So when Adam had revealed his feelings to me, I immediately decided I wasn't right for him. That had made things very awkward between us.

More so because we grew up together, his parents and my father were business partners.

They're farmers and own a sizeable farm which fed their household and left a lot over to be sold.

I loved helping out with work on the farm. They were happy to let me and teach me how things worked.

Adam has always been very sweet and kind and it was very easy to get along with him.

But lately we avoided one another a lot.

So the look of surprise on both our faces when we ran into one another in his father's barn was very appropriate.

"Isabel! I wasn't aware you were here. Errrrr... Is your father back yet? How have you been? How's Mildred? I heard her brother Mark got injured the last time went hunting. Is he well?"

He was breathless when he finished talking.

"Em my father isn't back yet, I'm fine, so is Mildred. Her brother is recovering quite well...

I replied his questions very slowly.

"Adam do you think we could be friends again?"

"What do you mean? We are friends."

"I mean like when we were children, before you confessed your feelings."

"I cannot change what I feel for you Isabel, if it was up to me I wouldn't do it anyway."

"Thoughts of you alone brings warmth to my heart. And when I see you, the joy I feel is very overwhelming."

"So please tell me how do i forget that I love you so?"

A very pained expression was on his face now. Dear gods, was I causing him pain?

Looking then at him a very sad feeling crept into my heart. I didn't know how to make him feel better.

No book I've ever read had answers on how to make a person that loves you and you didn't love back accept it or feel good about it.

Because I looked him in the eyes and I was sure he loved me. Or at least he believed he did.

An idea entered my mind, aha! If I couldn't make him accept it. I would try to make him feel better about it.

"Really Adam it's a good thing I don't feel the same way. This means you have a chance to fall for someone pretty and more homely. Maybe someone as pretty as Raina!

"Raina is pretty, but not as pretty as you. She can be a little unpleasant to be around sometimes but I only want you."

Oh this isn't really going well

"Just give it time I'm sure your feelings will change."

"I will always love you Isabel."

Those puppy dog eyes starring down at me made me decide I wasn't winning this one. And this conversation was over.

"Ermm I need to go, tell your mother I'm finished with the work she gave me and I've taken the eggs I need."

Picking up my basket with the eggs in them I walked out of the barn as fast as my legs could carry me.

Speaking of my father i expect him to come back today, if not today tomorrow.

He's been gone for 6 days now. So all things being equal he should be on his way back home.

I had just made it home and was setting my basket down in the kitchen. It was way passed lunch time, I'd had breakfast at the Bernard's. A very early dinner will have to do.

There was a knock on the door and I quickly went to answer it.

The sight that greeted me made me very numb.

"What happened to him...?"

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