「Chapter 5: Only you can live in this house. No other person, flower, bird, fish

In Xu Ding’s house, the sofa was probably the most comfortable piece of furniture. Cheng Ke spent many nights on the sofa and surprisingly felt more well rested on it than he had at home.

Maybe it was precisely because this wasn’t home. After all, he had also slept soundly on the table at McDonald’s before.

He sat on the sofa and rubbed his face. He looked over to the bedroom and realized nobody was on the bed. Xu Ding’s suitcase was gone too.

“Xu Ding!” He called out.

He made sure Xu Ding really wasn’t in the house, stood up and stretched, and then slowly moved into the bathroom.

There hadn’t been anything in the bathroom since this house was previously unoccupied and normally there would only be the hired staff who came to do some cleaning. Even so, Cheng Ke had ended up buying a lot of things.

Normally he doesn’t even buy a lot of household items. Usually his mom would replace anything he finished so he had no idea what he used and couldn’t really tell the difference between any of the items.

Now that he had to shop, he picked up the big bottles or the family packs since they seemed more cost effective.

Now that he thought about it, no wonder Xu Ding specifically asked after his purchases. He was probably confused, and Cheng Ke hoped he hadn’t given the impression of staying here forever.

Cheng Ke looked at the time on his phone and called the realtor. They made an appointment for an hour later to go see some houses.

He should go eat breakfast since he hasn’t eaten anything since last night and he was starving right now. Though his hunger was close to being unbearable, he still had no idea what he wanted to eat.

He wandered around the street right outside the house twice before walking into a small pizza shop.

He ordered a cup of coffee and a seafood pizza.

Cheng Ke rarely ate breakfast outside. In his memory, every day he’d wake up to a full breakfast on the dining room table and there’d be no repeat dishes for at least half a month.

Then again, none of those dishes were his favorites. And even though there were no duplicates, it was mostly Western food. Cheng Ke believed he’d enjoy soymilk, fried dough, and silken tofu much better.

Cheng Ke looked at the coffee and pizza in front of him and wondered why he had decided on this in the end.

Right on time, the realtor arrived by car and asked, “Mr. Cheng? I’m the realtor. You can call me Zhang.”

Cheng Ke nodded and made a sound of acknowledgement.

Zhang looked him over and then said, “Get in. I’ll take you around. There are three units and you can decide.”

“Thank you.” Cheng Ke stepped into the car.

There was a scent in the car that Cheng Ke thought might be perfume. But because it was so heavy, Cheng Ke could almost smell the alcohol it was trying so hard to mask. He opened the car windows a crack.

Someone like him who’s disgracefully left the house should probably first get used to being out more.

“I asked about your budget before,” Zhang spoke as he drove, “do you have an approximate estimate? The three units are all priced differently and if you have an idea, we can start with the one that most closely matches it.”

“Not really,” Cheng Ke answered truthfully, “I only have a couple of requests when it comes to the house.”

“Sure,” Zhang nodded, “what are they?”

“Preferably something larger, clean, and close to public transport.” Cheng Ke replied. “In a good neighborhood.”

“That won’t be cheap.” Zhang informed him.

Cheng Ke hummed in agreement.

He thought about telling Zhang that he knew nothing about renting houses. He was clueless about how much each type of property would cost.

The first unit they saw was a two-bedroom unit, in a good neighborhood and close to public transportation. But Cheng Ke felt uncomfortable as soon as he stepped into it. The distance between the house and the stairs was too narrow. He’d be able to look inside the bedroom and see the pattern on the pillowcases just by standing by the window; And the pattern was distasteful.

And the unit wasn’t really new and there was wallpaper. He preferred white walls.

“How is it?” Zhang asked, “this house just about fits all your…”

“Is there anything newer than this?” Cheng Ke asked.

“The owners have only had this for two years.” Zhang replied. “If you think this is old, then we’re limited to brand new units.”

“Sure,” Cheng Ke walked towards the door, “then we’ll look at new units.”

“We can do that.” Zhang clapped his hands, “What do you do, if I may ask?”

Cheng Ke fell silent, unable to answer that question on the spot. He’d never been asked about what he did for a living before.

The people he used to hang out with were all casual acquaintances the newcomers would never think to ask this question. It wasn’t that they were all lazy bums like him, but most didn’t have a serious occupation either.

He hesitated for a few seconds and then chose to stay silent.

Zhang directed him downstairs and explained, “I don’t mean anything by it, Mr. Cheng. It’s just that the landlord for the new unit is picky about potential tenants.”

Cheng Ke thought about it for a few moments and then threw out the only “job” he could do. “Sand art.”

“You sell sofas?”* Zhang asked.

*In mandarin, sand art (sha hua) and sofa (sha fa) sound very similar, hence the confusion.

Cheng Ke explained further, “Sand art. Using sand to draw.”

“Ah, sand art! I know it!” Zhang exclaimed and nodded. “So, you’re an artist! Sand art is amazing!”

Cheng Ke smiled quietly.

“It’s just a shame,” Zhang continued, “all the work gone with just a few wipes of your hand.”

Cheng Ke agreed and then changed the topic. “What else is the landlord looking for?”

“Someone with a real job,” Zhang went through the list, “clean, orderly, no bringing all kinds of people back, no to couples unless they’re married, but no kids.”

“… Oh, I’m single.” Cheng Ke didn’t know if those requirements were weird, but he should fit all of them.

When he saw the house, Cheng Ke breathed a sigh of relief. There’s no need to see the third one.

The unit was on the top floor and came with a little terrace that faced the neighborhood garden. The décor was a simple combination of wooden floors and white walls with basic furniture.

The only downside to this unit was that it was just two blocks away from the place where he got pulled into a random fight by the trashcan and then stabbed a few days ago.

Zhang sensed his hesitation and talked a mile a minute about the benefits of this place. It was in a bustling neighborhood, there were all kinds of supermarkets nearby and the night life was also great in the area. Tons of hotels, bars, and night clubs to choose from.

“And its access to public transportation is nothing to sneeze at. There’s the metro right there and a lot of bus routes to choose from. If they all arrived at the same time, the road would be blocked.” Zhang continued, “no matter where you want to go…”

“I’ll take it.” Cheng Ke interrupted. Zhang hasn’t been quiet this entire time and Cheng Ke felt like he was being drowned by the words coming out of the realtor’s mouth.

“Great. I’ll talk to you about the specifics then.” Zhang went into all the details. “If you need to buy any new furniture or electronics you have to let the landlord know ahead of time. No pets allowed, you can’t change the locks, if anything breaks you have to let the landlord know and you can’t just repair it yourself…”

Cheng Ke felt his head grow heavy with all the information. He sat down on the sofa without really listening to Zhang. He didn’t know whether it was Zhang or the landlord who was annoying, but he kept making sounds of agreement. The conversation ended with Zhang saying, “Deposit three and pay one.”

“What does that mean?” Cheng Ke asked.

“…. You put down three months of rent as deposit and then pay rent monthly,” Zhang explained.

“Oh,” Cheng Ke thought about it. “I can pay several months of half a year upfront.”

“No, the landlord wants it done monthly.” Zhang replied.

“Why?” Cheng Ke was confused.

Zhang answered truthfully, “Easier to raise the rent. Also, easier to handle if they don’t want to rent anymore.”

“Oh” Cheng Ke said, still a little lost.

Jiang Yu Duo stood by the window with a cigarette in his mouth. He looked at the tiles in Lu Qian’s hand. Lu Qian ran her fingers across all the tiles on her right side and remained undecided on which one to play.

In the end, she chose a two wan tile and was just about to toss it out when Jiang Yu Duo kicked the back of her chair. “You givin’ out money for free?”

“Hold up, Third, what do you mean by this?” Liu Bro, who was next after Lu Qian, hit his palm on the table in annoyance. “Either you shut up or you play by yourself. Stop trying to give directions.”

“If I played, you’d lose your house eighty times over.” Jiang Yu Duo retorted.

“Don’t you know the meaning of staying silent when watching a game in progress?” Liu Bro glared at him.

“We’re just gambling. Don’t try to pretend it’s elegant.” Jiang Yu Duo smiled.

“Ha, you actually know we’re gambling!” Liu Bro shouted.

“It’s alright, it’s alright.” Lu Qian patted Liu Bro on the shoulder and then waved a hand at Jiang Yu duo. “Don’t give me advice, go and walk around outside.”

“I’m gone,” Jiang Yu Duo stretched and walked towards the door. As he passed Liu Bro on the way out, he tossed a pack of cigarettes at him. “Good luck to you, Liu Bro.”

“You little bastard, you never change!” Liu Bro put the cigarettes in his pocket. “Being nice to someone only after you’ve angered them.”

“Do you want me to be nice to you or not?” Jiang Yu Duo stretched out a hand. “If not, then give it back.”

“Go walk around outside!” Liu Bro hit the table.

Jiang Yu Duo laughed, opened the door, and walked outside.

He didn’t like watching Lu Qian play. It’s been so many years and she hasn’t improved a bit. She practically gave away money.

He was supposed to go around to building one today. The family on the second floor begged him tearfully for another month, claiming they really had no money. Jiang Yu Duo agreed but he still should go around to warn them.

He usually wouldn’t have agreed to another month, Jiang Yu Duo thinks of himself as not the very sympathetic kind. Sometimes when he’d see people struggling to survive, he’d feel very annoyed.

Maybe it was because this reminded him of the past. If you compare who has it worse off, there will always be someone who has a harder life than you.

But that was Lu Qian’s property and he needed to follow Lu Qian’s orders. Lu Qian was all bark and no bite. There had been an ex-tenant who defaulted on eight months of rent and then ran off, even taking the table. Lu Qian had yelled for three days with words sharp enough to cut through metal, but she still handed out grace periods whenever someone asked for an extension.

She had been the same when he had been the one who refused to move. On one hand she’d give him jobs as if he would never tire, but on the other hand she never chased him off and gave him money.

The phone ringing interrupted Jiang Yu Duo’s walk down memory lane. He took out his phone and looked down to find an unknown number. He subconsciously glanced around, put his back up against a wall, and then picked up the phone.

“Is this Mr. Jiang?” A man’s voice came through from the other end of the line.

“Who is it?” Jiang Yu Duo asked.

“I’m Zhang, the realtor. You had put a property on the market with us before,” Zhang replied, “is now a convenient time? Would you be able to come by and sign the contract right now? We’ve found a suitable tenant.”

“Tomorrow.” Jiang Yu Duo said.

“The thing is, the tenant is pretty eager. He wants to move in tonight. And someone so decisive is pretty rare.” Zhang said. “You have a lot of conditions and he didn’t even negotiate.”

Jiang Yu Duo furrowed his brows. “The person fits all the criteria?”

“Artist, single, and looks clean and orderly.” Zhang answered. “About twenty years old.”

Jiang Yu Duo’s brow remained furrowed. Male? And eager to move in? Needs to sign the contract now? Can’t wait till tomorrow? Sounds suspicious.

“Mr. Jiang?” Zhang called him from the other end of the line.

“Fine, wait a bit, I’ll be right over.” Jiang Yu Duo hung up the phone and then called Chen Qing. “Do you have a car right now? Come pick me up and then drop me off at my sister’s new place.”

“I do, but it’s a Cayenne, so probably not big enough?” Chen Qing answered. “Want me to get a truck?”

Jiang Yu Duo didn’t say anything and tried really hard to figure out what Chen Qing meant by his question before yelling at him. In the end, he gave up.

He struggled to sound calm as he asked, “What the actual **** are you talking about?”

“Don’t you have furniture for this move? The Cayenne can’t fit all your things.” Chen Qing responded.

Jiang Yu Duo felt the need to grab someone on the streets and beat them up. He bit down on his lip and grunted out, “No need. Come now with the Cayenne. I’m downstairs, outside the gaming room.”

“Okay,” Chen Qing said crisply, “be right there.”

Soon afterwards, a Cayenne turned the corner and stopped by Jiang Yu Duo.

Before Chen Qing could open the door, Jiang Yu Duo dashed over and pulled open the driver’s door, grabbed Chen Qing’s arm and whacked him several times on the back.

“What fucking move?” Jiang Yu Duo shouted right next to Chen Qing’s ear. “Why are you a driver? Go work for the moving companies!”

“God damnit!” Chen Qing covered his ears. “You said Qian sis’ new place! Asked me to come with a car! This is what you said the last time you were moving!”

“We’re going to sign a contract!” Jiang Yu Duo yanked his hand away and shouted again.

“I got it.” Chen Qing collapsed on the steering wheel and dug his fingers in his ear. “Third Bro, let me live.”

“Why don’t you let me live,” Jiang Yu Duo stepped into the passenger seat and sighed as he put on the seat belt. “Every day it’s like we’re living in two different dimensions. We’re talking on two different channels.”

“The property got rented out?” Chen Qing drove.

“Yeah,” Jiang Yu Duo lit up a cigarette, “says he’s an artist.”

“Then he should have plenty of dough,” Chen Qing nodded, “not going to be worried about lapsing in rent now.”

Jiang Yu Duo stayed quiet.

“I guess that’s not true.” Chen Qing said after thinking. “Think about Mr. Jaeger. He dressed up so nicely, wore a watch worth tens of thousands, and then dug around in trash cans. Was that behavior art?”

“Shut up and drive.” Jiang Yu Duo turned on the radio and turned up the volume.

Chen Qing was probably stuck on the impression that Cheng Ke was a trash-digging homeless person. Jiang Yu Duo felt a little bad on Cheng Ke’s behalf.

He was confused about Cheng Ke. What game was he playing?

He hasn’t found anyone following him lately. The only suspicious person was Cheng Ke, but Cheng Ke really didn’t look like anyone who could accomplish things.

Are all the hitmen nowadays the handsome, well educated, but foolish type?

But right now, the person looking to rent the unit was more suspicious than Cheng Ke.

Jiang Yu Duo turned to look at Chen Qing. “Is there anything suspicious going on right now?”

“Not at all,” Chen Qing shook his head. “Everything’s quiet and it’s just some small scuffles. The only thing is the money that Zhang Daqi owes Dog. Dog sulks every day about it.”

“I’ll go tomorrow.” Jiang Yu Duo said. “Dog needs to grow up. It’s just three thousand yen. Not worth losing a months sleep over.”

“He’s not like you. Look at how much you have and how much he has. He’s spoiled at home and you…” Chen Qing swallowed, “Let me go tomorrow. It’s not right for you to go. Someone like Zhang Daqi doesn’t deserve a personal visit from you.”

Jiang Yu Duo concurred and then stayed silent, turning his head to look around the window.

“How much longer?” Cheng Ke was sitting on the sofa and pressing buttons on his phone out of boredom. He watched the screen light up, then go dark, and then pressed something to make it light up again.

His phone had nothing on it, not even any time-wasting games. But then again, his old phone was the same. He pretty much only used his phone to take some calls and make a few payments. It barely existed other times.

After all, he rarely had time to sit and stare at strangers before.

“Soon,” Zhang answered. “They’re not far.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, the elevator outside the door pinged and someone walked out.

Cheng Ke breathed out a sigh and put his phone back in his pocket. He lifted his head as he went to get up and then paused in surprise.

“Hurry up, I’ve got…” Jiang Yu Duo walked into the room, saw Zhang first and then looked stunned as his gaze landed on Cheng Ke’s face, “things to do.”

“Fuck me? Mr. Jaeger?” Behind Jiang Yu Duo was the head honor guard Chen Qing. The moment he saw Cheng Ke he yelled out the brand that he’d probably remember for the rest of his life.

“You two know each other?” Zhang was surprised.

“Not at all.” Jiang Yu Duo said.

Cheng Ke opened his mouth at the same time, “Not at all.”

“Ah,” Zhang laughed awkwardly and then rubbed his hands together. “So… why don’t’ we go over the contract and then sign it?”

“No need to go over it.” Cheng Ke just wanted to get the deal over with.

“Fine.” Jiang Yu Duo hooked a leg around a chair and sat down in front of the table.

“…Sure then.” Cheng Ke took the contract that Zhang handed over.

Truth to be told, the moment he saw Jiang Yu Duo, Cheng Ke wanted to run away and never look back, not even if someone pulled at him.

But he gritted his teeth and stayed put.

He really liked this unit and needed to get himself sorted out immediately.

Jiang Yu Duo still owed him for that stab.

“This contract is between you two. I’m just here as a witness.” Zhang informed them. “We’re all aboard, so rest assured.”

Cheng Ke stared silently at the contract and tried to look everything over carefully, but nothing stuck in his mind.

“You went over the requirements?” Jiang Yu Duo asked.

“Yes.” Zhang answered.

“What requirements?” Cheng Ke blurted out.

Jiang Yu Duo turned his head to look at Zhang, who stammered out, “Mr. Cheng the ones I went over with you just now.”

“Oh.” Cheng Ke nodded. “Then yes.”

“You’re the only inhabitant allowed. No other human, flower, bird, fish, bug, dog, or cat allowed.” Jiang Yu Duo listed, “you have to tell me before you move anything in this apartment…

“Got it.” Cheng Ke tossed the contract onto the table, picked up the pen and signed his name. Then he leaned back against the chair and continued, “I’m busy.”

Jiang Yu Duo stared at him for a while and then looked over at Zhang. “Do I sign my name or the property owner’s name?”

“Yours is fine.” Zhang answered. “We have the power of attorney form from the property owner.”

“Okay,” Jiang Yu Duo grabbed the pen, signed, and then tossed the contract back at Zhang. Then he looked at Cheng Ke. “You have my number?”

“No.” Cheng Ke answered.

Jiang Yu Duo tilted his head and Chen Qing, who had stood behind him with a serious face like a bodyguard, immediately dug out a cigarette carton cover and put it in front Jiang Yu Duo.

Cheng Ke looked down at the card that had Jiang Yu Duo’s name and a phone number and knew, without turning his head, that Zhang sitting next to him was looking at them in shock.

He grimaced but took the “business card” and put it in his pocket.

After signing the contract and paying the three months of deposit and the first month’s rent, Jiang Yu Duo handed over the key to the “never to be changed” lock. Cheng Ke thought the next step would be for everyone to get up and go their separate ways.

But Jiang Yu Duo remained sitting in front of the desk, staring at him.

Chen Qing and his deadpan face also remained standing behind Jiang Yu Duo, staring at him.

In deference to Zhang, who also stayed behind, Cheng Ke cleared his throat and prepared to say words of farewell. He didn’t want Zhang to think he’d escaped from the same mental institution as the two idiots in front of him.

“Go,” Jiang Yu Duo opened his mouth first and waved towards Zhang, “good work.”

“Then…” Zhang hesitated.

Chen Qing walked over directly and firmly sent him on his way before shutting the door.

“I’m just going to give it to you straight.” Jiang Yu Duo looked at Cheng Ke. “I don’t know what you want. But if you don’t want to rent this unit, you can back out now.”

“Then let me tell you something. I don’t know what your problem is, but if I say I want to rent this property,” Cheng Ke pressed the wound on his waist, “then I’m renting this property.”

...To be continue... ...

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