Episode 3

Charles Seymour was going to be cool about this.

He had certainly not gone to a newsstand and bought copies of all the magazines featuring Calvin Klein ads. He had certainly not begun thinking of ways he might possibly drop them around the lobby at the hotel where the reunion was being held. He did not have six of them in his bag as he walked to the train station with Raven.

Certainly not.

They had arranged to meet at Penn Station for the four-hour train ride. Eugene was early. Raven and Charles showed up exactly four minutes before the train was due to arrive, Charles lugging two enormous suitcases and attempting to balance a latte on top of them.

"Oh look, Charles," Raven said, pointing at a tall impeccably dressed man under the list of departures, "Your boyfriend's already here, waiting for us."

"This is how those people who order Russian brides must feel." Charles said, feeling unaccountably nervous, "I don't know how I let you snooker me into this."

"Hey! Eugene! Over here!" Raven yelled.

Eugene turned.

Oh God, Charles thought. He looks just as good in clothes. I can feel dozens of IQ points sprouting wings and migrating south. I'm just going to stand there and gape at him like a modified ape. Why didn't I prepare some intelligent remarks beforehand?

"Don't clam up," Raven said. "You're clamming up."

"Am not," Charles said petulantly.

Eugene approached them, grinning. "You remember Eugene," Raven said.

"Of course," Charles said, extending a hand almost reflexively. Eugene took it. His grasp was firm and he had a level blue gaze that Charles had not accounted for at all. The photo spreads of Eugene lounging in black and white in mussed sheets in his underwear had not captured it at all. And now you're thinking about him in his underwear. Splendid, Charles. Off to a great start.

"It's wonderful of you to agree to this. I hope I won't bore you too terribly."

"I doubt that's possible," Eugene said.

"You're going to floor them," Raven said. "I wish I could come. You two are going to have so much fun together. You have to take a picture of Jeffrey when he sees you." She hugged Charles.

"Don't look so petrified," she whispered. "You are living the fantasy of ninety percent of the population right now."

"I'm not sure that's a real statistic," Charles muttered.

"Let me get a picture of you," Raven said, whipping out her camera. Charles and Eugene stood next to each other.

"Put your arm around him."

Charles felt the warm weight of a muscular arm settle around his shoulders. Erik smelled good -- leather and aftershave, and --

"Oh hey!" Raven said. "You're wearing matching scarves. Did you coordinate that? That's cute."

"No," Charles and Eugene said, simultaneously.

"Oh well," Raven said, putting away the camera. "It's still cute."

Their train was announced and Raven began walking back towards the subway.

"Bye, boyfriends!" she yelled. The last word melted into giggles.

Charles stood there a moment watching her go, feeling as though the last ship back to Earth had just departed.

"I love your sister," Eugene said.

"Raven's got a lot of chutzpah," Charles said. "This whole thing is her idea."

"I gathered," Eugene said.

"You're wonderful to say yes," Charles said.

"My pleasure," Eugene said. "Let me," and Charles found that he was only carrying the latte and that Eugene had somehow managed to take charge of both suitcases with no apparent effort. For the fifth time that day, he regretted not going back to the gym.

"Thank you," Charles said. "Let me at least get one --"

"What sort of boyfriend do you think I am?" Eugene countered, with a grin that Charles thought in some species would be considered predatory and in others might be taken as an invitation to mate. God, he was easy to look at.

For God's sake, stop staring, Charles. Say something intelligent.

"So you made it here," he said. Not that. "I brought a lot of reading material for the train ride," he heard himself saying."That's actually this whole suitcase. I just hate to be stranded without books."

"How long is the ride?" Eugene asked, following Charles up the platform.

"Four hours."

Eugene nodded.

Was he actually wearing a pocket square? Good God. These four hours would be a challenge.

They boarded the train and sat down facing each other near a window.

"So how did we meet?" Eugene asked.

"What?" Charles said. "You remember, don't you? That photo shoot when the photographer was late and we played chess and--"

"Of course I remember that," Eugene said, quickly. "But I'm your boyfriend now, remember? What's our story? Are we still in the honeymoon phase? Have several years passed and you've become bored with my dwindling charms? Are we one of those obnoxious couples with matching everything who finish each other's sentences?"

Charles laughed. "Well, the scarves would suggest that we're still in something of the honeymoon phase," he said. This train ride was going to be easier than he'd thought. "Before I forget, speaking of honeymoons, we're sharing a hotel suite, but it has two beds, so there won't be any awkwardness on that score. And I'm buying all your meals. Don't try to argue. You aren't one of those models who doesn't eat, are you? Because there's a lot of good food where we're going."

"That sounds exceptional," Eugene said.

"Do you need a code name?" Charles asked, suddenly.

Eugene stared blankly at him. "Code name?"

"I mean if you don't want to reveal your real identity. I could refer to you as Judas, Hammer of the Maccabees, or something."

"That's what my ex used to call me," Eugene said. Charles goggled at him. "Not really."

"Do you want me to call you that?"

"Only in the bedroom," Eugene said. Then he laughed, quickly. "Kidding. Obviously. Er. No code name required, Professor."

"Charles, please," Charles said.

"Charles."

"All right," Charles said. "So -- honeymoon? I don't know. Are we?"

"Maybe the question is what your high school friends would find most obnoxious," Eugene said.

"I wouldn't call them friends," Charles said.

"Precisely," Eugene said. "What sort of relationship would be the best revenge?"

"It's not revenge," Charles said, wishing that he had remembered how exactly perfect the angles of Eugene's face were before agreeing to this. "That would be wrong."

"Of course it is," Eugene said. "All life after high school is a form of revenge."

"Maybe a little," Charles said.

"I vote honeymoon," Eugene said. "There's nothing like a couple who seem head-over-heels to make your day grimmer when you aren't."

"I hate those people when I see them on the subway," Charles said. "I read a somewhat sensational study once that said couples of similar attractiveness levels have the best chance of reproductive success, so sometimes I try to discourage them from an evolutionary standpoint."

Eugene laughed. "'Get out of the gene pool!'"

"All right. So how did we meet?"

"Do I get to pick this one?"

"It depends what you come up with."

"You rescued me from drowning."

Charles laughed. "I think we can find something with more verisimilitude."

"Chess convention."

"You didn't have to jump all the way from 60 to 0 like that."

"I think it would be funny if we met doing something horrendously nerdy," Eugene said, grinning that disarming grin. "Just to unsettle their presuppositions."

"Lord of the Rings convention."

"Speed dating at a Lord of the Rings convention."

They were both laughing.

"Were we in costume?"

"You were dressed as Aragorn and I was there as Frodo."

"Wouldn't be the first time that hook-up happened," Eugene muttered.

Charles began laughing. The train drew into a station and ground to a halt and new passengers began to get on.

Charles froze.

"What?" Eugene asked.

"Carl Garcia," Charles said.

"He's probably going to the reunion too. Oh God he's going to see us and -- I'm sitting over here and the whole concept is--"

"Here," Eugene said, matter-of-factly, reaching down and untying his shoes. And then Eugene's feet were in his lap.

"I'm sorry?" Charles asked.

"I'm your boyfriend, Charles," Eugene said, and he was grinning again. "You're giving me a foot rub."

"We haven't even established that I'm the sort of boyfriend who gives foot rubs," Charles said.

Good God, he has big feet. Which would make sense given what was implied in those underwear ads. Goddamnit, Charles. Stop thinking about that.

His stomach began an elaborate series of somersaults.

"Charles?" Carl said, turning and coming over. "Charles Seymour?"

"Oh, hey," Charles said. Without thinking too much about what he was doing he had begun massaging Eugene's sock-clad feet. "Carl. I assume we're headed in the same direction?"

"Tenth reunion, man!" Carl said. "The big 1-0!" Carl did not seem entirely sober. "1-0, baby! What is that in binary, Chucko?"

"Carl, have you met my boyfriend Eugene?" Charles asked.

"Boyfriend, huh?" Carl asked. "What happened, you break up with the cardboard cutout of Carl Sagan you used to take to date events?" He held out his hand for a high-five.

Eugene pointedly ignored him, shooting Charles an incredulous look. Charles felt a surge of gratitude.

I couldn't have done this by myself. All the articles and professorships in the world don't match having someone to make eye contact with at a time like this. Especially someone whose eyes are such an entrancing blue. He squeezed Eugene's feet appreciatively.

Eugene was managing to look more intimidating than he thought reasonable for a man not wearing shoes.

Carl gave them an appraising once-over. He seemed unwillingly impressed. "Local boy makes good," he said. "No wonder you're coming to the reunion. Pleased to meet you, Eugene."

"Likewise," Eugene said, with a nod.

"I just saw June Weather in the other car. She's fat now! Who'd have thought, right?" Carl grinned. "But she still knows how to smuggle vodka onto train cars, if you know what I mean."

"What do you mean?" Eugene asked, faking a puzzled expression. Carl seemed bewildered.

"She's got vodka on the other train car," Carl said. "I mean June smuggled vodka onto the train car. Nice meeting your man, Chucko. See you on the other side." Carl teetered off down the car.

"You went to high school with him for four years?" Eugene asked. "I barely met him for eight seconds and I wanted to punch him in the mouth."

"Three actually," Charles said, the corner of his mouth twisting up. "I graduated early."

"Smart move," Eugene said.

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