1. The Toothpaste Conspiracy
I read that dentists recommend brushing for 2 minutes.
After hearing that…
I realised I’ve been brushing for 12 seconds my whole life.
At this point even cavities have started paying rent.
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2. The Password Panic
My mom told me to “make a strong password.”
After hearing that…
I created a password so strong even I can’t enter my own account.
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3. The Pillow Lie
Someone said a good pillow improves sleep.
After hearing that…
I realized the pillow isn’t the problem…
…it’s my brain that wants to replay every embarrassing moment since Class 3.
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4. The Cake Math
Friend said, “Cake is 90% sugar.”
After hearing that…
I understood why I become emotionally attached to cakes—
we’re basically the same species.
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5. The Vacuum Monster
Mom said, “Don’t put your hair near the vacuum cleaner.”
After hearing that…
I realized that machine is basically a baldness generator.
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6. The Plant Drama
Teacher said talking to plants helps them grow.
After hearing that…
I remembered every time I screamed at my plants for dying…
Maybe they acted dead on purpose.
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7. The Elevator Fear
My brother said elevators can get stuck anytime.
After hearing that…
I pressed the button and suddenly remembered every mistake I’ve made.
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8. The Ice Cream Paradox
Someone told me cold things worsen a sore throat.
After hearing that…
I understood why my throat hates me but my heart still wants ice cream.
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9. The “Healthy Habit” Betrayal
I read that drinking more water makes your skin glow.
After hearing that…
I drank half a bottle and stared at the mirror like a cheap LED bulb waiting to turn on.
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10. The Time Travel Theory
Teacher said time goes faster when we’re happy.
After hearing that…
I finally understood why vacations end in 3 seconds…
…and school days last 84 years.
