"M-mom?", I called to Mom who now turned her back on me.
I rolled my eyes at the white room we were in and smiled slightly. It's been a few years, it's been a few years since I last visited her. 'I don't know how I should feel, but honestly, there is a mixture of sadness and joy in my heart. That’s how I feel, but what should it be? Should I be angry? Sorry? Laugh? What? I do not know.
"Mom," I called again without her looking back at where I was.
Now, I think, maybe my mother is so upset that she can't look back on her only child. But I also thought I had done nothing wrong.
"Mom, how long are you going to turn your back on me like that?", I asked her, she still didn't look around but I noticed her breathing deeply. I know you can't stand me, Mom.
"Mom,I miss you.", That was my word that finally turned to my mother. Slowly, slowly looking back, it seemed as if something was about to happen at that moment. And I finally saw her, my mother, Mom who was tearfully looking at my behavior.
But I didn’t like what I saw, what was it? Why–
Why is it like this? I don't want to see Mom, I don't want to. I'd rather just talk to her with her back to me and just looking out the window. I do not want. I don’t want to see Mom.
Along with the strong wind, the windows and doors were closed, as well as the darkness of the atmosphere. Too dark, I don’t like darkness, I don’t. I closed my eyes tightly and cupped both my palms.
"Son." That voice behind me, pronounced softly and carefully but I know, I feel the danger looming. Suddenly my knees shook, I wanted to run, get out, I wanted to scream, I wanted to ask for help. But my body didn't seem to agree with what my mind wanted. Trembling, tears closed. I’m scared, I’m scared. Mom, why?
"Son, I will never forgive you.", He said and laughed softly. My hair stood on end even more. If it could just be a dream, I would be grateful for someone to wake me up. If this is just a dream, can you help me? Where is the help? Where is
"Your guilt is great, son.",
"We'll be together again, just wait. Mom loves you so much, remember that."
I heard that line and at the same time felt the hot liquid on my shoulder. W-what is this? Are there tears? Why hot? Is Mom crying? But why?
No - I'm wrong, wrong wrong. Not tears.
Blood. I shivered even more. I don't want this! I want to go out. Mom, that's enough.
"T-that's right," I only uttered. I heard her laugh softly.
"After all? Not possible, son. We're going to be together," he said.
No, I don't. But .. what else is the meaning of my life?
It was there that I realized the sin I had committed, three years ago, on the same day, time and room. The sin I try to forget. The guilt caused by my hatred, hatred along with pity for my mother.
I killed my own mother.
I killed her.
"No.", after I uttered that word,darkness covered my mind.
