School life, Romance....

THE LAST 10 DAYS OF MY LIFE

I am jenny 18 years old girl... My life was really great .. I have mother, father and two elder sisters they loves me a lot I am the most precious treasure to them... since kid I have been suffering a lot .. I am criticized by the people cuz I am not a boy.. everyone wanted me to be a boy but was that my fault that I am a girl.. being a girl is really a curse for the people.. my parents were always criticised that thay can't give birth to a boy... they always say who will look after your property what's the use of keeping a huge property better give it to us we can enjoy... my parents always stay unhappy because of this reason... so I had made up my mind that I will live as a boy.. I will make myself so strong that no boy can compare with me... and that's what I did.. I started to wear boys clothes.. I did all the chores which a boy does.. and no boy in the society was able to compare themselves with me.. I mastered martial arts and I became a national athlete...i did everything to change myself.... except for dance I mastered everything.. Art, music, martial arts, sports and what not.. I proved my worth to the people but still I got criticized.. that so what if I can do anything I am still a bottom.. I can still be fucked up by a boy.... so I always kept myself distant from love... I had many friends which are boys but I had no girl friends... because of which my teacher always criticized me for staying like a boy.. girls started to hate me cuz the boys only stayed with me.. but the boys treated me warmly... they helped me in every situation... because of which I atleast felt love they didn't criticized me for being a girl... they were always there for me.... one of them was my best friend and my first love Edward.... we were so close back then when we were kids.. a day without each other was just like hell we grew up together studied together and faced all the difficulties together... I tried my hardest to not fall for him but in the end I fell in love with him.. the love that was just so painful....

But when we were in 5th grade.. I don't know what happened to him. he became distant towards me.. and gradually I lost him.. because of his family problems he left school and went somewhere far.. a place where I can't even find him.. I was just like a mad person... I looked for him everytime... I never got a good sleep because of him.. everytime I recall I miss him more and I loved him more...

although my life was great but a part of my heart was still blank.. I wanted to end this suffering but I was unable to do this.. I tried so hard to forget him but I can't cuz he already took my heart away... only one day I finally got the chance to get rid of this suffering

I was suffering from a kind of disease I kept it secret from my parents cuz I never wanted to trouble them until one day when it was really serious and I had to consult a doctor..... in the hospital the doctor said I am suffering from brain tumour and it's the last stage.. I don't have much time to live but only 30 days... my parents burst into tears... when the doctor said to prepare a coffin for me cuz no matter whatever they do they can't save me... after I knew this I also given up my life.. I didn't want to live at all .. I thought if this way I could end everything then it's great.....

my parents wanted me to take treatment... thinking that there's a slight chance for me.. but I refused all I only said that I will die anyways but I don't want to die in the hospital bed... I want to enjoy my life and die in the nature not in the rooms of hospital... when they asked me what I wanted to do.. I was honest with them for the last time..... I told them that I want to meet Edward.. I want to spent my last breaths with him... the person who taught me to live my life the person who taught me to love myself even if I am a girl.. the person who was with me in the time when I needed him the post... I didn't say that I love him.. but my parents understood me through my words.. they didn't say anything to me for falling in love nor in the fact that I want to spend my time with Edward.. they agreed to it without any hesitation... well I think because I am dying so they wanted to fulfill my last wish.......

It took almost 20 days to find his address and to visit his house.... my parents told his mother about my condition.. but I requested her to not let Edward know... I didn't want Edward to say with me because he felt pity for me...

It was the 21st day... I was standing in front of Edward's house.... I was too excited to see him after 7 years but I didn't know as soon as I see him tears will flow out of my eyes.. I expected to greet him happily but ended up crying I am someone who never sheds a single drop of tear... I have never cried since I was a kid... but his appearance made me cry out a lot... I tried my hardest to control but I failed.... I only knew I have only 10 days left to live and that made me more sad....

I kept my luggage and came out to tour his place.... he was also happy to see me.. at first I thought he had forgot me but he proved me wrong.. he gave me a warm hug and wiped my tears calling me silly.. he always use to call me silly when we were kids and that word was only meant for me.. he can only call me by that name .....

staying with him the part which was empty in my heart gradually filled... I slowly stared feeling greedy after so many day I finally wanted to live... at night I cried out in my heart saying why God has to be this cruel.. finally I wanted to live but I can't......

the last day of my life... I was sitting beside Edward near the lake... when I first came to visit the lame I just fell in love with it.. it's clean cool water.. the trees beautiful shade and the beauty of nature made me wanted to stay their more... Edward and I was talking about the cool and mischievous activities we did back then in school.. I also scolded him for not letting me know when he left I cursed him hard.. he didn't say anything but accepted whatever I told him.... suddenly I felt a huge pressure in my hurt and brain.. I seem to forget everything except for Edward... that was the time I knew that I was dying slowly... I said my last words to him..

" Edward I missed you more and more when you left me I tried to forget you or stop loving you but the more I try to forget you the more I fell in love with you... I love you Edward I love you the most I can never fall in love with someone else but you... you mean my world... I feel relief to confess to you... please don't say anything just listen to me... I am dying.. I am slowly losing my breadth... I want to die in your arms.. just this last time.. hold me.. hold me tightly.. I hope in our next life I can meet you and fall in love with you again even if it hurts even if it's painful.. and even if you don't love me... I don't want to know why you left me back then... but I know that doesn't matter to me anymore after all I am dying in your arms... "

that were my last words...my visions became blurry I can see nothing but I can feel that Edward was crying... he gave me the warmest hug... and he said silly back then I left you because I..... before he could continue I passed out... I died... I didn't even got to hear his last words if I had got a minute I could have heard his answer but now I died with this question in my mind whether he loves me too or not.. the painful love was a success fro me or not...

in my funeral Edward was not present... he was looking at our photos together when we were kids he was crying and looking at our childish things... my mother became insane she use to always wait at the door thinking that I will come back and shout out her name loudly that I always do.. but it didn't happen I didn't even got to bid them farewell for the last time and thanking them to bring me to this world and let me meet Edward Again.. for all the happiness they gave me and sorry for leaving them an unable to repay them...

THE END....