They ask me what's wrong I say im ok
i dont want them to worry
tommorow is another day!
happy it may not be,ill wear a fake smile
someday ill tell im hurting,suffocating,and held captive with the demon inside me
everything will be alright happy here happy there
they dont care what i look like inside
but i do,so my ugliness needs to be hidden away
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Another day,another survival as I opened my eyes staring at the ceiling for more than a minute. I remembered today is the weekend,so I'll stay in this room and stay here for the whole day. I thought maybe if I had skip breakfast, lunch,dinner I have the possibility to die early.
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"Hey! Wait are you on bed right now?"
"Haha yeah! Why?"
"Get up man! There's a party going on over here"
"Nah I'll skip today,I'm sick"
"You don't look sick tho"
"You don't have to look sick,when your actually sick!"
"Your choice man. Well,see you I'll come visit you after this party is it ok?"
"I'm not home right now tho"
"Ah it's ok,next time then?"
" Yeah sure. Have fun!"
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Lies ah lies
how have you become the truth yet not?
I am a lie a mask on my face,a disguise I wear to fool the fools
Yeah that's right,maybe... no matter how tired,sad, and helpless I am,the mask I wear is a disguise to hide the truth behind it.
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There's this feeling inside, where I'm all drained, my energy to speak and to do everything like a human has left me paralyzed not being able to do anything. Have you ever had that feeling? Where all your favorites are black,black clothes,black sheets,black everything. Stop....make it stop....for once I'd like to have a day where I can't think about the future,where I don't have to worry anymore, for once I'd like to have some peace...
So....I'm sorry to all of my friends for seeing how I've changed, I'm sorry to my parents for not letting you know,I'm sorry brother for not trusting you with these things,I'm sorry gf for being such a sad bf and not cheerful,I'm sorry for the people that had high expectations for me,I'm sorry....I'm sorry for everything....and I'll say the same thing over and over and over again...just for you to give me what I need and want..
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For someone
