Living as a monk it was always thought to us that Monks are forbidden from touching or coming close to women's bodies, because it is believed that a woman's body is contrary to a monk's vows.
I am a monk actually, I am a Shaolin Monk / Zen monk . we are also known as warriors monk.
I was 5 years old. my parents leave me here as a monk cause they promise that they will make there one child monk. We both were there me and my twin brother. they leave me here and after that they never showed there face to me.
u might be thinking what is different between Buddhist monks and Shaolin Monk. all Shaolin monks are Buddhist monks, but not all Buddhist monks are Shaolin monks. Shaolin monks are warrior monks who live in the Shaolin Monastery.
So, living as a monk and following all rules there is also a rule that you can't touch a woman you can't eye contact with them . and i never felt that type of attraction towards any woman or girl. Until one day . I was sitting in the corner of the hall with
The head monk was in hall and there was no one only two of us. Then four people came One was teacher who regular visti temple he is teacher of material arts so I know him and two of them were girls and one was boy. He introduced them to head monk as his students and said that he brought them for giving someone life lesson and mental peace. it's not new or different, so many people came here for same reason.He could have come at the time of section. I thought.
But it was actually different from other sections.
The conversation started with topic Karma.
Every action we take molds our characters for the future. Both positive and negative traits can become magnified over time as we fall into habits. All of these cause us to acquire karma. - Head monk said.
Then a voice asked "Do karma really exists?"
Head monk replied "I does "
"I don't think so, that thing really exist. "
This time I opened my eyes and saw her it was first time someone answer back head monk in this way.
"why do you think so? " Head monk
"If karma really exist then why all the bad and cunning people lives happy life? no one can mess up anything of them" She replied
"Karma does it's work" head monk
" But when, Ha WHEN IT DOES IT'S WORK AT LAST MOMENT UNTIL THAT THEY LIVE THERE LIFE TO FULLEST AND NICE AND INNOCENT PEOPLE SUFFER SEEING THEM THEY BREAKDOWN MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICAL. THEN WHAT IS THE USE OF KARMA ? HA" She replied angrily
For every Answer of head monk she was having a question to backfired on him.
She was different from others from me too.
For her wrong was wrong.
I did never thought in that way in which she thought.
There was angry in her voice but there was deep pain and saddens in her eyes. yes, I saw into her eyes I did break a rule but I don't regret it. It was for First time I have ever felt in this way. She was and introvert she don't speak much with others and nor I was able to speak with her when ever I try to speak with her my heart start to beat too fast. like it going crazy.we don't speak much but I speak with her friends so that I can atlist stay by her side.
Now it's been 3 years they always come here for two days a week with there teacher for learning material art. we become close now. i did break some laws like not touching any girl or not doing eye contact with them but if it's for her then worth it. now we are friends I am the very good and top Shaolin monk from our group so it always me who teach them different move. She knows that women or girl can't touch monks but I told her that friendly touch is allowed between woman and monks. At first she didn't believe this but after knowing my position she change. It's indeed lie that woman friends can touch monks but I don't know why I want it, I try to avoid her by each and every way buf I just can't do it . she really very good at material art.she always walk different path from others but that's what I love about her.
Before she came there was only one thing in my mind that being a very good Shaolin monk I used to study, do mediation and material art.But before at the time when I came to this school or temple as a monk I even forgot how to cry or give any reaction after that.
But now one two years ago my both parents visited this temple with my twin brother they look perfect family. I looked towards them and leave from there.
I was practicing ku-fu as usual.
then she came and said "u know I saw same boy as you with same face and height as yours just he was having hairs. But you look more handsome and hot than him."
i just looked toward her.
"really I am not jocking " she replied. "
He is my twin brother and my parents." I said
she didn't say anything but I told her whole story I don't know why but I felt that she will understand me. She just came to ward me and hold my sleeve and said "don't worry it's not you who lost them they are the one who lost real treasure " "if u want to cry you can cry there is nothing wrong in crying "
I asked her "why do you understand me? "
She replied "I don't know but now I can give you shoulder to cry, you can cry I will not tell this to anyone"
I still looked toward her " I can't break the rule " I thought
she said " It's not necessary that you should follow rules and regulations always. and rules and mean to be broken "
she hold my hand and I cried , I cried hugging her that was the first time when I broke the rule.
I don't know why but it fell good when I hugged her I know I have felling for her bit it grow more after that incident.
She always say being a monk is very hard it's indeed hard. You are cage by so many rule and laws and you can't go against it.but I wish I could tell her that I love her but I can't go against the rule. I hate it . But I can't just keep her with me for my selfish reasons. Even our this story is incomplete but In next life I will surely make you my girl. Complete this incomplete story. Wait for me my love.
~ Losser (Dhanu_7)
