I toss and turn myself in the bed for several minutes, unable to sleep. I have a headache, I've been crying for hours I think...
Stupid emotions, can't even control themselves...
...
Hey, am Samantha, Sam for short.
I'm a teenager girl, whose intelligence level is worse than the average teenager. I also have ADHD, and don't worry, it was not one of those self-diagnosis, I was diagnosed by a psychologist. Anyways, it's hard to maintain focus on classes. My grades are also average, despite me giving up my food and sleep for it.
My parents took good care of me, until my sister was born. My sister, Hannah, is what you would call 'perfect'..
High IQ, learned things quickly, good communication skills, respectful and kind, in one sentence–
not an "ungrateful brat" like me.
I was never called that before my sister was born. But one day, I got home from school. My exam marks were published, and I got the lowest, which was 85 out of 100. (Means others got around 86-100, and yes, that's how talented the others in my school were. My parents thought that being with better people will "force" me to be better, so they sent me here, to this hell...) So my parents were telling me how I'm so ungrateful and should work harder to make them proud, that's when they called me an ungrateful brat... it hurt, even after all the things I'm doing just to help them boast about my grades, they.......
But I didn't say anything.
I silently ate dinner, or I'll get lectured again for wasting food, and of course, being "ungrateful"...
After that, I silently went to my room.
...
I wanted none of this, I didn't want to live at all...
Even after giving my all, skipping lunch and sacrificing my sleep, JUST to keep AVERAGE MARKS at school...
Why?....
Why me?.....
Why was I like this?......
Why can't I be like others, like, normal people?
Why can't I just have good grades like them? They do nothing of how much I do, yet, they get higher numbers.........
.
.
.
I was crying when I got distracted by my plushie...
I don't know why but I loved this plushie so much. it was a werewolf... It had black hair with white stripes, and dark coloured attire.
It's crimson eyes were shining under the moonlight... it was the only 'person' I told my real feelings to after I shut myself up completely from others...
"Why am I like this, Alex?"
I called it Alex, after my imaginary friend. Unlike others, I knew my "imaginary friend' wasn't real, cuz i just made him up, and pretended that he was always there, even though he wasn't...
I thought up a human form for him similar to my plushie's, and acted like he was my plushie and he could turn human. Don't blame me! I was...
...lonely.....
"Is it really.. my fault? Why can't I just be enough? Am I so bad that I don't deserve to be appreciated...?"
Tears started forming in my eyes...
I looked at his eyes, it seemed like he was staring back at me sympathetically... He was the only one with whom I felt...
...appreciated....
I hugged Alex tightly and fell asleep, without noticing the new tears that were falling from my eyes.
...
Huh? Is it morning already?...
I turn on my mobile to check the time– 3 AM.
Of all time, I had to wake up at 3 AM, just great. I don't think I can fall asleep again after reading those horror stories... (Am a scaredy cat, another thing I hate about myself...)
I try to hug my plushie only to find out that it's not there. Did anyone come in my room? Did my parents come to say sorry later? Hah, like that'll make things better...!
But they wouldn't take my plushie... Did my sister take it?
...
The thought alone made my blood boil. I already hated her enough, she's the reason that my parents are disappointed in me... If only she didn't exist, also those so-called 'better' people at school.....
I sit up, about to go to her room to give her a piece of my mind, forgetting about how late it was. That's when I heard her shouting from her room. The hell? I didn't even go to her yet, if I did...! Wait... is she having a nightmare?.....
I tried to calm myself down, I shouldn't be too harsh on her, she's just a kid after all... It's my parents fault for treating me like this.....
I get up from my bed, walking towards her room. I stood in front of her door, I was about to knock when I felt something wet under my feet... Water? Did she spill water or something? But it's sticky, water isn't like this.....
Wait...
...!
...It smells like...
...blood?!
I felt the world spinning around me as soon as the smell of blood hit my nose. I hate blood! But I have to go... My sister is there, she...!
I opened the door and stepped into the room without thinking anymore, and immediately regretted it...
There was blood...
Everywhere...
And Hannah was nowhere to be seen.....
.
.
.
Wait.....
is that Hannah...?!
I couldn't keep it anymore and threw up right on the spot...
It was Hannah, or more like, her torn up body...
It's like some monster tore up her body into million pieces...
I even saw some body parts.....
I threw up again. Then somehow got up and ran out of the room, when–
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
I heard my mom shout. I ran to their room and burst open the door. But...
...I was too late...
I saw... a man? He had black hair... with white stripes... and his dress... was like my plushie's?...
He looked exactly like my plushie's human form.
Like my plushie, he had claws...
And...
...his claws were already digging into my mom's chest.....
And dad... He...
.
.
.
He was already killed. His body was laying on the bed lifelessly, and blood was everywhere.....
I froze in my place, thinking if it was just me having a nightmare because of too much stress, but it felt so real... the smell of blood... It's not real, right?
RIGHT?!
...
...?!
That man... is walking towards me... I need to run!
I turn around quickly to run but trip and fall at the doorway. A small whimper escapes my lips...
... I don't want to die, not yet...! I have so many things to do, I NEED to prove the others wrong, prove that I'm worthy! Yes I was being selfish, thinking about myself even after I just saw my mom being killed, but it's too late anyways... All of them are already.....
I need to save myself first, then inform the police–
"Sam..."
...?!
Is that... him?... Oh no... He's going to kill me now..... No no no.....
I started crying silently.
"Sam... Don't be afraid. No one will hurt you anymore..."
Wait... How does he know my name?!
I felt someone's arms wrapping around me... Is that him?!
...
Why does his presence feel so familiar... It's so calming....
.....
I want to sleep... I'm tired...
Tired of everything, everyone...
I felt someone caressing my cheek.
"Don't worry Sam, everything will be over soon... Rest for now..."
I felt something soft on my forehead... Is he kissing me?!...
...
I'm too tired to react to it...
"Sweet dreams, love~"
.
.
.
....My consciousness fades away.....
[This is part of my short story series "The world inside my mind". If you like it, kindly check out my whole book. Your support is my biggest motivation. 💙]
