GELA :Hi I'm Angela but you can call me "Gela" I am 14 years old I went to a private school in the Philippines I studied there for so many years now start from my childhood I never went to other schools just my current school I never have some permanent friends Only temporary.
I always live up on expectation because when I go to Reality I will realize how cruel reality sometimes,I always go to My Own imaginations I never thought of going back to reality of my past I mean I am in reality but my past is always full of expectations and imaginations.
I once have a Childhood bestfriend and her name is Daze,she was smart and always on top and I am not but since I was. child I don't mind not getting some honors in school because I'm happy and positive.
I always think of people's happiness,Crazyness,and other things,I never thought of going my self in a negative position because whenever I have negativity I felt I am lonely of some point that I always want to be alone in the dark and not knowing the light.
When I was in grade 3 I was near a boy in class and I consider him as my friend but My Childhood bestfriend is not my best. friend we are no longer close as before when are still young children things have change everything has changed.
then the next school year I want to hate but I can't the reason I want to hate that school year it's because of one guy,we got a lot of fights he always mock me when I talk I feel like what If no body wants to listen to me when I talk just like him but that Got me thinking and I said to myself that"No I have to be positive your mind is saying wrong things" after they I stay positive and let go of what happened then one time we are partnered for the project with our other group members and I hate it.
thats the worst day that happend to my life I got angry and I cried because of how He treat me like how he treats me not as a woman but as a toy to play with a toy that you can mock with when your bored.
but then I went outside our classroom and I sat in the stairs and cried there and with my tears flowing there is a pain that hurts my heart and made some small hole in it,and Because of that pain My Anger range and I said to myself"What I I kill him I want him dead"but when I think of that I said"No Gela be positive your not killing anyone smile and forget what happend your not a killer and. devils child your name is Angela and your a God's child,and your not the kind of a Girl that can step on by a boy because your not a toy your a girl and a human not a thing" so I stayed positive again even tho I hide the pain.
then one day He started again he mocked me but don't worry no wounds are involved in everyday mockings and fightings, but that next day that he mocked me again is a new positive and ready Girl Be can make fun of me but he will never change who I am,so then the next school year grade 5 I met my Other bestfriend and my bully bullies her because of her lip,because her lip is not in a right shape so he bullied her and stop bullying and mocking me.
but when I see her cry It pains me because I love to see her smile and happy,it pains me everyday that she was crying beside me and being laugh at so I protect her but one day I didn't protect her as always. because I know that she was strong and I believe her for that,but she is strong but she cried again when we are Abing our English Class and she said that she was getting bullied by her deskmate and her deskmate never think that she will be hurt because of what her deskmate said to her.
and she said that her deskmate was talking about her mother and so I got angry and I know what happend why my bestfriend was sensitive about her mother it's because her mother got shot by someone when she was young and it pains me how her eyes tells how sad she was and one day my old bully make fun of her again and that is our snacks time the girls said that my bestfriend locked herself in the Girls Comfort room so I rushed there so I can help her to not feel the pain since her dad have new Wife and she and her older sister have to deal with there step mother's daughters but that's in the past and One thing I know for sure that now I miss her.
I played some piano when I was a child and I got nervous at first but it's just a lesson I was happy but that happiness turn to loneliness again and sometimes I cried at night wondering why do I felt pain and felt sad everytime I think of my past
then in my next school year I'm in grade 6 and I found a boy then we became friends we talked and talk but then one day my dad found that there is a guy that they don't know so I went home because school ended then my mom talk to me about the boy then I said sorry and I blocked him and we didn't talk I ignore him but I felt hurt again and I said"Gels be happy because you made someone happy"when I said that I was crying because it hurts.
then I met another guy and we played some online games then we got close and we ended up liking eachother but I promise to my mom that I will have a boyfriend on my 18th birthday but I don't want her to be just happy I want to fullfil that promise and I don't want to broke it so I kept that and so He said that if I want to be his girl but I said I'm sorry but then the next day we got in to. little fight and I got hurt about it but for his happiness if he want a to have a lover he can have other girl so I let him go not as a boyfriend because I never said yes to him about that I let him go as a Friend so I was in pain that night
and I ended up sleeping because I cried all day then one day I had enough and said to myself xxWHY DO WE NEED TO BE HAPPY JUST TO SUFFER? why? tell me why?then I cried but now I said to myself that I will never fall in-love again this time not going to fall for another guy and a temporary friend I will find a
permanent friend that can guide me to some path where I can rely on her or him sometimes I will never give up until I find the real friend that will be my friend for years and that my story thank you ❣️
😔🤦not all people will be your friend and not all happiness will be with you everyday-AUTHOR JAYLA🤦😔
