I still remember the first time I've met him
It was on my way back from my friend's house, I saw him walking before me with his friend.
Then he looked back, glaring at me with a smile on his face. Texting me right that night, I've never talked to anyone like him, his words were polite,he was a man of many words, yet it made me very comfortable.
He never stopped talking even when I said some words that used to end the conversation everytime I talked with other people. I was a very awkward person, our personality was completely opposite, but that was what I like about him
Later, he got a girlfriend and introduced me to his friend. His friend and I, we have so much in common, and our personality was very similar to each other. But I could not seem to get attracted to him. He was nice, but he's not 'HIM'.
Regardless of the fact that he got a girlfriend, we still talked to each other. He talked to me even more than he talked to his girlfriend. I tried to keep my distance from him, but I couldn't seem to do it. I got addicted on talking to him.
As time passed, I found out that he was also attracted to me. Later he broke up with his girlfriend.
There was a great guilt inside of me, everyone called me a third person in a relationship. But little did they know that I never meant for that to happen. Even in a time like that, he never stopped talking to me, in my point of view, we even became much closer. I can't say that I was not happy, I did felt guilty, but still, I liked him very much, so, there was a slight happiness within me.
Later we hung out, not be ourselves, but we were stuck together. At the same time, everyone was trying to put us together.
As the time passed, he finally confessed to me. I did not know how to answer him, I did like him, but I was really afraid to be in a relationship. I asked to meet up, but I did not go. He waited for me for 2 whole hours, but it was in vain.
I always think that I was such a terrible bitch till now. I should not ask to meet up if I was not gonna attend. And the reason I didn't attend, was because my friends told me that it was closed down. Still, I was the one asking to meet up, so, going is a must. But I didn't.
I did apologize, but still, I felt so bad. He did not bring up the topic for a while. Then, he confessed again, but I turned him down.
That night, was the first night I cried over a guy.
"If I'm still gonna reject him, then why did I give him hope from the beginning?" was all that was in my mind. I couldn't understand myself, everyday, I thought of the reason I rejected him. But I don't know, I don't even understand myself.
Then two months later, he got a girlfriend. and his girlfriend was a close friend of mine. I thought that I was over him, but there was still a bitter feeling in my mind.
After he got a girlfriend, I congratulate him, and we started talking again. But when I think back, our conversation was not normal, we flirted a lot and we always talked about getting married. Later, he, again, broke up with her.
But there was no happy feelings within me, we talked for a while, and little by little, we lost in touch. There are still a time that we talked to each other, but it was not the same as before. We remain as friends, or we were never a friend from the beginning. I don't know.
Until now, I always wanted to tell him how thankful I am, he was always there for me when I was in a bad mood, he comforted me, and he could always make me happy everytime I talked to him. He was the only one that made me feel that way.
BUT THOSE WORDS REMAIN UNSAID.
There was even times when I think that I fell in love with him. But I don't know, I'm just gonna refer it as 'like'. because I don't really know what love is. All I can say is that, I am really thankful towards him. And I will never forget the moments I've spent with him.
_____
