„I never really had friends, true ones at least“
I was a pretty happy child up to the age of 10, before that I went to a nice school with happy kids just like me we played around and joked we were like a happy family.
Like in a family you had someone you were closer with than others and in a friend group you call that a „best friend“
You don’t really realize that your so called “friends” only play with you when you’re in that school regardless of which grade you’re in
I had one she was like a sister to me, we hung out a lot and I went to her house a couple of times, even our parents were quite close
Despite all that, the moment I went abroad we lost contact.
She could have contacted but she didn’t...
and the worst part is I didn’t either
My time abroad was lovely, I was young and naive, moving to a country that was better than my own was of course better...
I had friends in both schools, I went to while I was abroad, in the first school I even had a friend that was from the same country as I was from...
We got along until something happened and I moved away, I was actually happy that I moved away because I did something embarrassing...
I still blame it on my fear of the dark, Nyctophobia in fancier terms
After an incident regarding my guardian’s health, I moved back to my country, I had some habits that I had to get over
The people were ruder, more reckless and the streets were louder...
But the language they used abroad had become the language I was best at, my native language had become like my second language rather than my first...
My parents had the bright I idea to send me to a school where I had to learn a new language since that school mostly used that language
It was hard learning a new language
I eventually got “good” at it
After knowing it to a certain amount where I could go to that country
My parents announced the news...
That I would be going abroad again to another
country
The news was neither good or bad to me, I accepted it
Overtime as the deadline drew closer, I was getting more excited to go to this country
Then my parents said it had to be postponed because of certain things out everyone’s control
The feelings I felt were both relief and disappointment
I had taken my file out of my old school’s system and the entrance fee was too expensive
So I had to attend a new school, this certainly was the most unpleasant news I’ve heard all year round
And shockingly, I lost contact with my “friends” only after one week
In my country we have something called “your number”
If you had a number you were considered lucky, it meant your business was successful, you were pretty, you’re parents are wealthy and so on...
On the other hand if you don’t have a number, you were the opposite
Whenever someone mentioned about how I was supposed to go abroad but couldn’t they’d say “Oh, you must not have a number“
I knew they were joking but it had some affect on me
Once I enrolled into this new school, I didn’t have any friends
I get told lot that I have a grumpy face but it’s just my neutral face, you can’t possibly smile all the time
I may be quite and distant, but once you get to know me your judgment will most like change
They say “ Never judge a book by its cover” but honestly when you see someone you judge them even if they’re just a stranger walking by on the streets
