“What colors did you see?... and what colors can you see, did you know this world is full of colors. Blue for the sky and sea, white for the clouds, Red and Orange when it comes to sunset. Then I'll ask you again what colors you want to see and what colors you need to see? "
Unfortunately, I was born in this monochromatic world, or rather, I can only see this dull—lifeless world.
When I was a kid I used to dream about seeing the world filled with colors. I looked at the sky and try to imagine that it has a color. However, I only know what the sky color is, and I don't know the real appearance of that color.
Time passed and my dream about having to see the color faded. Everywhere I looked is the same.
Lifeless...
Boring...
I don't even bother to look for a specialist to fix my vision because they always told me the same words.
‘It's impossible '
They said that only I—myself can cure my monochromatic vision. Honestly, I don't understand that, and even now I still looking for the meaning of those words. I'm just a normal high school boy with average intelligence and physical health, how do I suppose to cure myself if even the doctors and professionals can't.
“There's no way I can do that..."
>How beautiful this world can be<
I remember the day when I first saw her, I can still feel the cold breeze on my skin as if it happened yesterday. She was standing beneath the tree leaning her back on it, the wind blowhard makes her hold her long hair.
“She is beautiful..."
She noticed me glancing at her that time and she ended up asking me “Is there something wrong?" that soft voice makes my hard pound for a second.
I just continued walking away without giving her my answer, cause, in the end, she is just lifeless in my eyes. Being unable to see colors...
After that, I found out that her class is next to mine and for some reason, she started to talk to me whenever we ran to each other. There's even a rumor that we are dating gladly, I fixed that misunderstanding.
“Eh... so you have a monochromatic vision, hey, what do I looked like in your eyes?"
“hmm... dull? lifeless? ...boring? ...I guess...?"
After a couple of months of talking to her, I told her that I have a monochromatic vision, and all I can see is this black and white world. She was the first person I ever told about my sickness and gladly, she didn't spill it to anyone.
A hundred times we talk to each other and I learned some things, she's incredibly popular not only among students but even the teachers who know her.
Fortunately, no person tries to harm me because of often talking to her.
One day when we were on our usual spot talking to each other at the library there is a miracle happens. I saw it.
The colors... Her black hair, blue eyes, pale pink lips.
I can't believe that I saw colors for the first time and it makes my tear fell on my cheek, good thing she doesn't saw me crying cause that will be embarrassing.
I told her what happened and she comes up with one thing, we're not allowed to talk to each other until I completely regain my colors because now the only colors I can see are her's and not my surroundings and other people.
The next few days we do not talk or approach each other but she always sent me pictures of what she found pretty. But still, I can't see the colors.
She always sent me a picture of everything she does but she didn't include her face, she told me that there is no point if she sends her picture to me while we were doing this experiment. She told me that her colors might be contagious and if she introduces me to many things someday I'll be able to see the world with colors, I'll just play along with her.
One day she didn't send me a picture. I sent her a message of [is there something wrong?] but she didn't reply to me.
The next day I visited her classroom and they said that she was not there, I lost contact with her and she didn't even attend her classes.
After a week I found out that while she was taking pictures, she was hit by a car. It's too late that I found out that they already buried her body.
It is my fault... I didn't cry, because I don't have the right to cry for her.
I lost the only color I can see in this world and I lost the only person I precious the most. She gave me hope but I lost her...
I locked myself in my room for a couple of weeks, believing that I should be blamed for her death and I must accept my atonement.
I often browse my phone, reminiscing all our messages and photos she sent me before when she still alive.
‘July 14, 2018, it is the day before she died. It is still unread...'
After I open her last message my tear started to fell.
[
July 14, 2018
Heya! how are you? you're fine that is okay for me. I want to send you this message after we graduated from high school but it seems like I can't wait for that, I just want you to know that I decided to go to medical school and learn how to cure your illness. I promised you that I'll help you, right?... then by studying medicine I can help you a lot!... and for the consequences, maybe... just promise me that you'll always be by my side and never leave me... even if we grow old together that is fine for me so be grateful, this pretty girl will always be by your side even if we grow old... that's it!
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]
The last message and the last photo she sent me... it was her face smiling... for the first and last time, she sent me her face smiling... I can see it... the colors...
In a second my room and my world started to fill with colors, my tear started to burst out of my eyes, I can't stop it... I'm supposed to be happy because I regain my colors... but yet... if losing her is the compensation of having my colors back.
I don't want it, I rather live in my monochromatic world than living without her.
[How beautiful this world can be]
A few years passed and I already move on, I visited her house and gave my condolences, I often visit her grave and told her how is my day.
I can see colors because of her... and I am thankful to her that she shows me how beautiful this world can be...
