I don't know if you can relate, but I was never fond of choosing between things or I can say I hate it . As someone who was never the choosen one, I feel hurt for the one left while choosing something.....
Hello ! I'm Elisa , a second year college student . Thinking about my school life , it was never something adventurous or intresting. I was a simple average student pushing through the classes , exams and people. Never someone's best friend, never someone's favourite, never someone's only one......
When I entered this college, I didn't had any hopes anyways for my college life like people had . I just wanted to complete these college years and get a stable job and live a stable, peaceful life .....
It was my first semester practicals when I saw this guy called Max . No wonder I had not seen him before because I never tried to make friends or interact to people. This time he caught my attention just because he was being scolded for disturbing class . Anyways why would I have cared ........ But I did , don't know why though . He was most lively person I had seen , just opposite of what I was . During one of our college trip we talked for first time . He was late for bus and only seat empty was beside me , he asked me if he can sit there and I agreed. He introduced himself and thanked me for giving him the seat and I just smiled back at it. That's all what we talked during the whole journey. All people had there own friend groups they spend there time with .
I tried to socialize myself but all I achieved was getting awkward, so I decided to enjoy the trip alone. On 2nd day everyone went for shopping in market . I stayed there , outside our hotel there was beautiful view. It was a pleasant weather so I got ready and went out for a walk . Suddenly he also came there and waved at me . He came towards me and asked "why didn't you go for shopping?"
" I just wanted to spend some time alone "
" Strange, don't girls get happy with shopping...." He said with a smile filled with amusement
" Not everyone" I said " Btw why are you here ?"
" I just got cold and so was taking rest"
" Oh ! How are you feeling now"
" Better ..." He smiled " Oh I didn't ask your name that day.."
" Elisa , sorry I should also have introduced myself"
" It's completely fine "
And then we talked and laughed untill everyone returned in evening.
For the first time I felt talking to someone can be this good or maybe just talking to him was that good . I liked it but kepty expectations low as I didn't want to get used to it . For next 3 days of trip we talked every now and then and get to know each other better. I was getting more and more comfortable talking to him . Even after the trip ended we remained in touch .
Everything was going fine till then .
One day after class ended inwas going back to dorm when max called me and asked me to wait as he was also coming.i saw hi coming but he was not alone, he was with another guy who seemed to be his friend by how they were talking but was nothing like him . As much as Max was lively, chill , happy his friend seemed silent, sad and depressed. When he came he introduced me to him . His friend Allen. He looked at me those eyes full of pain and hurt which I dismissed with a smile and greeted him . That was my first encounter with Allen .
On weekend Max planned a day out and invited me . I was excited for it . The three of us went first for a movie and then we went for dinner. In mid of dinner, Max received a call and said he need to leave as something urgent came up . It made me worried but he assured me that everything is fine and he will call me once he was done with it .He looked at me as if asking me if I was fine staying there with Allen, I smiled and reassured him . He was always like that , understanding everything before I can say it . Everytime I was sad he knew before me telling him and he knew how to cheer me up ...
Me and Allen were left alone. It was not that I had not talked to him before but everytime Max was there to ease the environment. It was first time we being alone. He had the same pain in his eyes as it was when I first met him . I wanted to ask if everything was fine but something stopped me . We were not that close to discuss his life problems and maybe asking him would put him in difficult position.
He started talking about classes , exams and I played along. After completing dinner he offered me to drop to my dorm , I wanted to say no but then agreed to it .
On our way back I couldn't hold back and finally asked him if he need help with something or talk about something he can approach me or Max any time . He smiled and said he was fine . I also didn't pushed it further and accepted it .
At night I got call from Max . He apologized for leaving early and described the situation at his home that he was needed there . Then he asked me if everything was fine after he left and how did I get back . I told him about everything.
When I was about to sleep I received a text from Allen which was quite unexpected.
Allen: " I don't know if I'm doing right by telling you this but I just felt like it so . Remember you asked me if there is anything bothering me . I'm the older son of my parents. Willing or not I get involved in every problem of family. My parents have high expectations from me and there are many responsibilities on me . Sometimes all of these get too much for me to handle. But still I managed everything untill steave left me . He was my best friend since school time nad was always with me in all my problems. Once he got admission in another college. There he got new friends and started ignoring me . First I thought maybe he needs time to get adjusted to new routine. But one day he texted me that he can no longer stay friends with me , that he doesn't have time for me . It's not like I don't had other friends but I never felt comfortable enough to discuss it with . Untill the day I met you . The way you looked at me it felt like you can pull me out of all my pain . And so I wanted to tell you all this . It might be too much for you but just telling you all made me feel much more lighter , like someone took off something heavy from my chest "
Reading this made me realise that how much problems people do face and still live there life with it . I comforted him and asked him to tell me anything if he wanted to . Not sure that I can do much about it but atleast taking it all out might make him feel good .
He kept texting and calling every then and now whenever he was sad and it made me feel happy to help him out .
I didn't said anything about it to Max since it can make Allen uncomfortable.
Semester ended and it was time for vacations. But after vacations everything changed. We used to talk but it was either me and Max or me and Allen . I noticed that they both had something off . They ignored each other . Even when I tried to talk about Allen to Max he would change the topic , similar with Allen also .
I never got to know what happened between them . I tried few times to ask them but they never talked about it .
Max was my constant. I loved talking to him about everything. Whenever I didn't know what to do , Max was the one I would think of immediately and he was also available for me everytime. He made me feel happy, lively, Joyous . I could sense that he was getting more important than a friend, that just having him by my side could cheer me up like anything . And sometimes I felt that he also think the same way . His small gestures , the way he would say something flirty in between conversations could brighten up my mood and could make me blush like fools ......
On the other hand , I was constantly helping Allen through his problems. But he was getting more and more strange now . Calling me 3-4 times a day , calling me at late nights , expecting me to talk to him as long as he want , forcing me to talk only to him , whenever I talked about anyone else he would get angry , he even asked me to stop talking to Max , asking me where I'm everytime . I cleared many times that he should not cross the line , that I do talk to other friends, that I had someone I like , that we can never be anything more than friends. But he would just never listen to it . It was all getting out of my hands and now I need to tell this to Max and end everything with Allen . I feel guilty for doing this . I know he won't take it positively but I no longer can take this .
I decided to meet Allen for last time . He deserved to be told everything in person . Just texting or calling would be too rude .
So I asked him out for coffee.
I told him that we can no longer be in touch . I told him that I like Max and I'm going to confess to him today . His eyes darkened, tears welling up in eyes . He was clearly hurt but I had no other option, I didn't want to lead him on or keep him in dark . I started leaving but suddenly he grabbed my hand tightly.
" You can't do this to me . Why don't you understand. I like you Elisa . I can prove myself better than Max . Please give me a chance " he said .
I tried to free myself " Try to understand Allen it is not about who is better , you are a nice person, but feelings can't be forced . And I never had seen you more than a friend"
His nails digging deep .Pain clearly visible in his eyes .It was hurting both physically and emotionally seeing him like this . I shut my eyes closed in pain asking him to leave , my hands trembling, my voice cracking.
" Do you know why me and Max don't talk anymore.."
Even while it was hurting his words got my attention
" It's because he is stupid. I told him several times that I like you and he should stay away from you but he just won't listen . He doesn't deserve you Elisa "
Suddenly his grip loosened, as I opened my eyes , Max was standing in front of me facing Allen, his grip tight on Allen. I knew what was going to happen next and just thinking about it made me terrified. I grabbed Max's hand and pulled him out of cafe . We sat in his car . He looked intensely on road not even looking at me . There was anger in his eyes I had never seen before. I tried explaining but he cut me off " don't talk for now . I don't want to say something that can hurt you " . Tears falling from my eyes without even me realising it .
Suddenly he stopped the car . There was dreading silence in car for a minute. He got off the car , so did I . I went to him .
" Don't keep things to yourself. Just let them out "
" Just like you did " he said sarcastically
" I didn't want to hide anything from you "
" But you still did , do you even realise he could have harmed you " tears in his eyes " did you even think once what would I have done of he had harmed you...... "
" I'm sorry, I was careless" " but let me explain myself"
He nodded and I told him everything about him sharing his problems and me trying to help him , how he started getting possessive and why I asked him out . He listened everything without interrupting. I expected him to say something but he didn't reacted. There was silence which was unbearable for me . I was trying to control my tears , my throat aching by it . He started walking towards car " get in the car . I'll drop you to your dorm ".
" Dorms must have closed . I can't return there "
" Get in the car " it was last thing he said before getting in the car . I did what he said . He started car . I didn't know where we were going but I trust him , I feel safe with him so I didn't ask anything.
After half an hour the car stopped in front of a house . Not sure where we were I asked him .
It's my place , you can stay here tonight. I'll drop you to your dorm tomorrow.
We entered his house . It was a beautiful place . A lawn in front of house , a hall , a kitchen and 2 bedrooms . It was small , preety, peaceful place . He showed me to one of the room which I suppose was a guest room . And went to his room .
I sat on bed and started thinking about whole day . It was truly exhausting and terrible but ending it here in his place made me felt better. Even though he was angry but I knew he cared for me .
I tried to sleep but couldn't. Flashbacks of everything about Allen appeared as I closed eyes .
I knocked his room . He was looking breathtaking even in casuals and ruffled hairs , his eyes deep as ocean .
" Can we talk , I can't sleep ...."
He opened door completely and let me enter his room .
" Are you angry at me ?"
He didn't answer . Ofcourse he was , why was I even asking that ......
I knew this won't work . But I had another plan ready.
" You are my best friend and I think you should be first one to know this" I paused .
He looked at me as if I was going to tell a great secret. I knew this will work
" There is a guy I really like , no actually I really love him " His expressions changed .His jaw tightened , his fist clenched .A bit of hurt and a bit of jealousy in his eyes.
" Who is it ?" He asked
" You know him very well . He is best person I met in life . He is so handsome and kind . He cares for me a lot . He always know when I'm sad . He know how to cheer me up . Just being with him can make my life much better, best I would say "
His jealousy now all over his face . One more thing and I knew he would kill that person which he ofcourse couldn't.
" He usually never gets angry but when he do he is so deadly. It's hard to convince him then . When he gets angry I feel lifeless , when he don't talk to me I feel like crying so much ,just like now , I'm sitting beside him and confessing my love for him but he is angry and won't talk talk to me ..... " His anger and jealousy faded . A smile curled up his lips " you are my best friend right ...Tell me what should I do with this person......" I sighed dramatically.....
His smile widened. He grabbed me by waist , pulled me closer " Being your best friend I would suggest you to be his girlfriend and never leave his side . Also for now since he is angry you should kiss him as soon as possible ...... "
I smacked his arm , heat rising in my cheeks. I know I'm blushing hard and before I can say any further he kissed me on forehead and pulled me into a warm tight hug . I hugged him back . We stayed like that for several minutes.
We talked endlessly.
I asked " what about Allen? "
" I'll handle that , you don't need to worry"
" Can I ask you something?"
He nodded
" Is it because of me that you and Allen are not friends anymore? "
" Ofcourse not . Don't ever think like that ." He cupped my cheeks "We were just not compatible to be friends"
He hugged me again. This time more tightly as if comforting me .
" When did you fall in love with me ? " I asked curiously
" I don't know . I don't think it was any specific day I fell for you . Since the day I met you I kept falling for you . You have no idea how much you mean to me . I think for next 50 years I can keep falling in love with you again and again "
I couldn't stop smiling. I must be the luckiest person to deserve him.....
It's the second best day of my life . First one will always be that day of college trip when I got to know him .
Choosing between things will always be difficult for me but, if it's him , I'm sure I will choose him over anything without any second thought......
- "The end "-
By Jerry ❤️
