I, Lenovar, am the King of the Kingdom named, Altheria. I was made the King, at a very young age. But I also died young, I wasn't killed by anyone, but I killed myself. I thought I will have no regrets, because I did my best to protect my Kingdom and my people. But, I did have regrets after all. I regretted, not accepting him, his love for me.
There was a guy, he claimed that he was crazily in love with me. He was one of my servants, he served me for a very long time.
He always confessed his love to me, confidently, with passion and sincerity. He confessed boldly, never shying away. He became the target of bully, because of this. I never paid much attention to him, I shouldn’t have done that.
He always cared for me, secretly, openly, all the time, his eyes were on me. But as a King, I am allowed to have a male lover. The Kingdom needed heir, the people needed their next King.
I remember, the first time he confessed his love to me, he was so nervous, scared, so shy, and his eyes always down.
Then, he slowly spoke, his voice trembling, and low, "Your majesty, I-I... I love y-you. I am in love with you... A-And, I-I just wanted to l-let you know."
I didn't say anything for a while, but I thought I had to say something, because he looked so scared, so nervous, "It's okay to love someone, I will not punish you, so rest assured." then I simply told him to leave.
He used to look at me, from afar. But then, he grew more confident, bold, he began saying he loves me, all the time, whenever he got the chance.
I ignored him... I shouldn't have done that. It was too late, when I realized that people only liked me for my power, and he only loved me for who I was. His love for me, was true, innocent, and pure.
Then, one day, my Palace was attacked by my enemies. I never thought, that day, will be the day he will die, the day I died. It was also the day, I realized, he was so precious to me.
He saved me, he sheilded me with his body when my enemy attacked my from behind. He gave his life to save me. His last words, haunts me.
"Y-Your m-majesty, I-I love you. I-I am so h-happy, that I was able to save you."
No... You didn't have to... You didn't have to die for me.
And then, his last sentence, "P-Please, be happy." he left his last breath. He died in my arms, because of me!
I watched in silence, when the warmth of his body left, his skin turned pale, like ice, his lips blue, and his eyes were like stones, and while bleed from his stomach. His blood pooled around me, covered me.
Then I remembered, how cheerful he used to be, he always used to smile, he beautiful, so bright, like a Star. But now, he was numb, no life in him, he was not bright, not smiling, no shine in his eyes.
I realized... I loved him too.
Just that moment, I grabbed my sword, and I cut my throat, I let myself bleed, I didn't struggle.
I had a loveless life, which was so painful. There was no light in my life. After my mother died, it was as if, even my father stopped loving me. He turned his back on me, never smiling at me. Then suddenly, he died, he left me too and I was made the King.
He became the light of my life. He brightened my days with his lovely presence, but unfortunately, I never realized it.
I am sorry... I couldn’t love you... Protect you. I am sorry because it took me so much time to realize.
I found the peace, that I found around him, when I held his hand, lied next to him, slowly closed my eyes, and left my final breath.
I wish, I get a second chance. Then I promise, to love you, to accept you, embrace you. I will protect you then... Cillian.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
I opened my eyes, and gasped when a bright light hits my eyes. I was almost blinded.
The fabric, and the softness I felt under me, was too familiar. I blinked my eyes, and slowly adjusted to the light. I looked around, and I was shocked to find myself in my own room.
H-How, is this possible? I am, a-alive? W-Was t-that all a d-d-dream?
NO! It can't be. It was so realistic. I remember everything so well, the pain, the numbness, and then the darkness. I remember, I died. How am I alive?
I-Is this even real? Or is it fake?
Then, someone knocked on my door. So, I am not alone.
"Come in!"
The door opened, and i eagerly looked, to see who it was. I gasped again, I forgot to breath, when I saw him, Cillian. He was alive, and well, he was smiling, he was, alright.
"Good morning, your majeaty." he bowed, and wished me good morning like he always does, with his cheerful bright smile.
I swore to love you, this time, I won't let you go, and I won't disappoint you. I don't whether it is a dream or not. You mine! That's all I know.
I smiled, "Good morning, Cillian."
He was shocked, I never smiled at him, of course he will be surprised.
I slowly approached him, and stood in front of him. I peered down at him, he was shorted than me by some inches.
"Tell me, do you still love me?" I asked him, and his eyes widened. I could tell, he was growing nervous.
He slowly nodded, and looked down.
He is so adorable, how was I even able to ignore him? He is so cute, lovable, sweet, lovely, and most importantly, he loves me so much he is willing to die for me.
I engufled him in a tight hug, and slowly breathed in his scent.
I was an idiot before!
"Y-Your majesty!? W-Why, are you hugging me!?" he panicked.
I couldn’t help but leave a chuckle. I broke the hug, and smiled at him, "I love you, too, Cillian."
I watched as his cheeks quickly turned into a shade of red. He was shy, so adorable.
"I-It can't be." he said.
I frowned, "Why not? I can't fall for you?"
"No-no, it's not like that!"
"Then, are you not happy that I love you?"
He bit his lip, he was nervous. He mumbled, "I am happy."
A smile came to my lips.
"I just can't believe that you are saying you love me."
I hugged him again, and mumbled, "Well, then believe it, because I am not letting you leave me, and I will not leave you."
Finally, he smiled, and hugged me.
I am happy, now. I am glad, he fell in love with me. I am glad he found me. Now, it was my turn to give him all my love. If anyone dares to go against our relationship, I will simply unalive them.
