Somedays have passed and my mom has been constantly nagging me with words that irks my ears. "Come do these chores, you don't do besides wasting your time", " Why can't you be like other's daughter, they cook, clean and even get good marks", "you never listen to what I say, what's wrong with telling you to give NEET", "Always pouting when I mention NEET, don't regret your choice later" Just a few weeks before I will give my CUET exam. This was nothing, a year back my dad completely disagreed with my choice of not giving NEET. It left my heart shattered.
On the day of the CUET exam, Mom dropped me off to the exam center but we faught on the way. The reason was nothing but simple, I Didn't wanted to give neet.
I have developed myself to make myself fall asleep everytime I feel sad Or angry or disappointed. After all I was tired of what was going on around me. Barely had anybody to understand what it feels to be constantly pressed down with words. Manipulation and what not. And so it happened. I felt asleep during my exam, after all I felt like giving up. Even if I tried, who was there who would be happy with me. And when I opened up my eyes, only about 15 minutes were left, that too for one of my important subject. I knew I would fall asleep but I didn't expect to happen like these.
Now that the results are out. My probability for getting into my dream university is gone.
After constant nagging and getting scolded, they now are angry over my marks. My performance, and what not. I feel like ending everything, trying to escape, trying to understand. Maybe it's better for me if I just end everything.
These care are something I don't need. I do not want these kindness, I do not need them. I'm tired of it. I feel disgusted. And on top, ashamed, disappointed.
Let gone begone. May my future holds something important.
