It’s beautiful.
I said that after closing my eyes, drowning in my wild imagination, running away from the stressful and hard place every human being finds themselves in once in a while.
A calm place.
A gentle, orange-colored sky caressing my eyes.
I'm lying down on soft green grass.
It’s quiet. It’s peaceful. Far away from everything.
I feel better—so much better.
“Lies.”
A deep voice echoed in my imagination.
I didn’t need to look around to know where it came from—I knew it so well. I heard it every day, everywhere, anywhere.
“Running away again! Coward. Miserable. Weak!” it screamed.
It was them again—those unhelpful thoughts, ruining my peaceful moment, asking me tawdry questions.
And here I am, sinking again into the darkness.
Where did the pretty sky go?
Where did the grass, the quiet, the calm go?
Where am I?
Why is it dark again?
WHY IS IT DARK IN MY HEAD?!
"Is there really no way out of it? Will it never end?" I shouted inside my mind, hoping to hear an answer. But none came.
I crossed my legs and buried my face in my knees, wishing I could wake up from this bad dream I created myself—because deep down, in my heart, I know everything has an end.
It has to. It needs to. I have to. I need to... or maybe not, I whispered.
I lifted my head, took a deep breath, as realization reached my consciousness.
Maybe I should just stay where I am. Feel. Remember.
What’s wrong with darkness?
Maybe it’s time to see the darkness again, after seeing the light for a moment.
Just like when the sun rises and sets every day.
Maybe fighting to get out of the darkness isn’t the solution.
Maybe I should embrace the moment.
Maybe I should just wait and be patient.
Maybe... just maybe...
I let out a soft chuckle and leaned back, slowly opening my eyes to see my room’s ceiling—white and familiar.
A gentle smile tugged at my lips as I whispered:
“It’s okay. I’m gonna be alright.”
