Favorite Otome game and you are one of the main character possessing the villian role... Obviously you would try your best to change the end and stop your death from happening right?
Yeah I thought the same but...what if you don't have any option rather than following the same plot line which leads you to your death?
That's what happening to me right now...
When there is a seen where Tiara,The Villainess appears to fulfill her role I teleport there automatically even if I don't want to. And everytime that happens I see a window appearing with the options what to do during that event.
It's my 50th re-birth in this stu#id @ss game now...I seen no hope is there for me so being bored after dying for 49th times by the male lead, Am writing this journal since there is nothing I can do in this world where am being controlled by this game.
Am wondering where my fault was? Was it then when I was given birth by my poor mother who was already bedridden because of cancer and couldn't pay for her treatment? or was it then when I begged in street for my mother who was coughing blood every single hour when I was 4? or was it then when I was taken by my bilogical father hours after my mother died?Where was my fault?Where!? AM I... MYSELF A FAULT?
As my two brother says? those two brothers who were introduced to me by my bilogical father.....?
“Don't touch me! you make me disgust!”
“Don't you dare call me brother with those filthy mouth of yours!”
“Don't appear infront of me...it makes me sick.”
“Know your place."
“You are disgusting.”
Am I so unlikable? to be hated by my step-brothers? Just because I am the child of a different mother who was poor...?
l...I just wanted to be loved as my mother did for me...was I asking for too much?is that the reason?am suffering right now? in a whole new world?
Father always wanted the best performance for me and so I did. I scored the highest in academy,I won many prizes in national and international level just get praised by him...I tried and tried but when I got ill and my position decreased father got furious and threw a vase on my forehead which made me bleed and unconscious...from then I knew that I could never be loved by him nor my step brothers like the way my mother once loved me...
That unconscious me gave me enough time to think what I was doing up till now... finally I started to drop my marks in academy which why I was bullied by many childrens...I learnt being perfect can never give you what you want neither satisfy the love am searching for because I have to know my place...
It's not the story of Cinderella who turned into a princess overnight...it's reality...and reality can make you realise you are a worthless person unworthy of anything or anyone. Maybe that is why I never received love after my mother died?
If a child is mature now then he/she have suffered more than you can imagine and I can feel that, The change, the things , the situation made me realise many thing and finally the day came my father kicked me out of his house... and I was once again in between the street.
The hopeless me again...with nothing...and again to earn a decent amount of money for my living I studied and got scholarship and did an engineering job which was decent enough for a living and my daily routine became a total hectic schedule, I came from office,cooked,ate,sleep and repeated it.
Nothing to do in weekends I downloaded an otome game recommended to me by an otaku employee of mine who was always friendly with every person and so she saw the lifeless face of mine and recommended it and so I did and I quite liked it.
The plot line was very simple.The heroine losses her mother and suffered just like me...I started to like the game because I saw the me in that heroine but the heroine overcomes every difficulties and even the Villainess Tiara who bullies her in every situation because the heroine always got in between her and the crown prince.
But as every end the Villainess got her retribution and got killed not her whole family because she was an illegitimate child...like me? then the story ended with crown prince and the heroine together and other potential male lead's supported it.
I felt more depressed over time and my other co-workers happen to notice that and so I got some days off from my boss to rest so I returned from the office and while coming back I ended up getting crashed by a car on that very street...hah... everything started in the street and so ended as well ...at last neither families love nor love like the heroine in the game I got in this d@mn life of mine but instead of feelings resentment I feel quite good since everything came to an end.....
And so my 50th life ended being slayed by the crown prince...once again...
