my name is raiju
I'm a college student.
I'm not good at studies but like to do maths.
finding answers for every sum ...it's like I'm playing a puzzle game.
I'm just a normal boy with a normal appearance.
I'm not handsome nor cute but yea I'm good looking to my heart.
my problem is. my friends, my classmates and my neighbours are all in a relationship.. ..they always chat with their lovers day and night.
Even if I stand beside them...they won't look at me they ignored me and make me an errand boy to do their other works.
don't worry I'm not bullied by them.
instead whenever they askede to do a favour... I'll just show my middle finger and continued my work as usual.
but .........
tho i have everything........tho my parents support me in everything..........tho I'm living in a good atmosphere.
i feel....alone. (sad)
i have lot of things to share with others.
like my bad and good habits,my funny days i spent in my childhood....like when I was 11 my mother hit me with a broom because 😂 i skipped the tution and went to a dance class without telling my mother.
there are lot of funny and hilarious things i did in my childhood 🤣🤣🤣....my mother often said did you born only to torture me ( in funny way)
because i was a terrible brat at that time.....
thinking of my old days always making me laugh in amusement.
but now.....
( smiling bitterly)
I'M JUST ALONE.
sometimes i wish to have in relationship and sometimes i wish to born again and sometimes i thought it would be good if i go to any places where no one can find me....and i wish to fade away with the wind sometimes.
( chuckled)
cause i feel nothing inside but loneliness.
this loneliness make me laugh sometimes remembering of my old days.
this loneliness makes me hate myself sometimes.
this loneliness locks my hands to do something new.
this loneliness makes me lazy.
this Longines breaking my heart day by day.
and this lonliness let me into tears without any reasons.
if i stay alone in my room....i don't know... somehow i feel like I'm cornered by others...no one needs me in their life and no one worries about me of course except my parents.
unknowingly i start to cry and blabbing out whatever comes in my mind like a crazy fellow.🤭😅
and sometimes i say I MISS YOU. (. SMILING🙂💔)
WHEN YOU WERE WITH ME...I SAW THIS WORLD IN DIFFERENT ANGLE.
I LIVED MY LIFE SO HAPPILY AND PEACEFULLY.
YOU ARE MU SAVIOUR.
YOU ARE MY BEAST FRIEND.
YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING.
I OFTEN SAID ..I DIDN'T WANNA LEAVE YOU AND PROMISED YOU. I WON'T LEAVE YOUR SIDE.
BUT SEE....I RAN AWAY FROM YOU FIRST.
THO YOU STILL WAITING FOR ME FROM THE PLACE WHERE I LEFT YOU.
( SMILING ....TEARS ARE FALLING DOWN)
SORRY I CAN'T MAKE YOU HAPPY BUT BROKE YOUR HEART... I'M NOT DESERVING YOU....I JUSY DON'T WANNA HURT YOU ANYMORE.
BUT STILL.....
STILL THEIR IS A THINK IN CORNER OF MY HEART WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU AGAIN AND WANT TO FEEL THE WARMNESS AGAIN LIKE WHEN I HELD YOUR HANDS FOR THE FIRST TIME. ( SMILING ...TEARS ARE FALLING DOWN)
I'M SORRY FOR HURTING YOU THOUSANDS AND MILLIONS OF TIMES
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT ALWAYS END UP BREAKING YOUR HEART.
NO ONE CAN REPLACE YOU FROM MY HEART.
YOU ARE ALWAYS MY BEST.
BUT SORRY I CAN'T COME BACK TO YOU.
BECAUSE I'M A FALLEN ANGLE .....( CLOSED HIS EYES)
STILL...
LET ME BE A SELFISH JERK.
SO....
I JUST WANT TO HEAR ONE WORD....JUST ONE.
PLS SAY YOU WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE IN THIS ENDLESS DARK TUNNEL
I'M SCARED ( TREMBLING)
THE END
