when he saw me crying, he came near me and sit face to my face and look at me. At that sad and anger moment
I shout to him: Are you mad,or monster for watch me crying instead of comforting.
But he said that make me shocked he said
" I like to see your tears better than your smiles. Cause those your tears are true but those your smiles to everyone is fake."
" I know you put your fake smiles towards everyone for to make them happy.And act like you are perfectly alright.But when I see those your fake smiles make me not happy but some anger,sympathy or even painful."
I wish to see your real nor true smile.,not the fake one....If you want you can hit me,you can share your problems.why you always keeps your problems and secrets yourself, at least try to share to anyone. It makes you feel relaxed.stop your act that you are okay."try to honest yourself,stop bothering about others"
After the words there is pin drop silence.Her eyes are totally widen due to his words. after his words he stare me.
And he asked me "ARE YOU OKAY".
He again and again repeat it.but I couldn't utter a word. My response make him silent and he went away the place.
I stand alone the place for few minutes.cause I Don't know what I do now.There is no tears coming neither no expression.just like a deadly emptiness feel....
I went away from the place and go to home.Without any words I went to my room and put my head to the bed.
His words always hit in my head that,
"Try to honest yourself,stop bothering about others"...also his word "Are you okay".But the answer of the question didn't come out from her mouth but inside it shouting maximum telling that
No,I am not okay
I am really not okay
I want to true myself
I want to express my true feelings to everyone
But.......I can’t
Because that make sad to everyone.
Is it good to kill 1 instead of 100?
I am okay with my fake smiles.
Plz don't care me.
Plz don't ask me that pity question "Are you okay"
Cause if you ask the same question I can reply the same lie that " I AM OKAY ".
I can't accept any spontaneous care.,I have trust issues.Even I don't trust myself cause I am not honest to myself. I am afraid the care. Because those care and happiness are like the crackers. Beautiful and wonderful time,but only for an instant time.Thats why I don't want them.
So plz don't care me.Leave me alone.I am happy in this way.The fakeness also become a part of my life. So plz leave me alone......
By this selftalking.she fall asleep.
And again wake up with a fake smile........
