There are many ways to live your life but little time to do so. Mistakes can be made and they might be irreparable or can be forgiven. Sometimes you regret doing something that if you could, you would want to redo your decisions.
I... I was that type of person.
I want to redo my mistakes and forget that they ever happened. I want a perfect life-per se.
I know what you're thinking, that it's all impossible, that I'm a perfectionist. I tell you I'm not.
I'm just one girl with too many regrets even in her death bed. Dying at age 26 was not really my plan however, fate and destiny wanted me gone.
"If there is somebody out there listening, please. I want to live... I want to do it all over again! May it be God or Devil, please help me..."
I knew it was futile. I have never been one to believe in the afterlife nor God or anything in that realm.
But in desperation, I found myself calling out to them.
Funny, right?
I thought so too, until a miracle happen.
I woke up in the past.
When I say woke up, I literally woke up lying on my bed tucked in my sheets as a baby. The beautiful hanging chimes near the window swayed in the wind, causing it to create a beautiful bell-like sound.
It was shocking, but nonetheless I was glad.
Finally! I could redo my mistakes!
I adapted bit by bit in this life, happy to see familiar faces. The nanny who helped raise me, the butler who takes care of the home when dad isn't around, the servants, gardeners, chefs...
And most importantly, my parents.
Happy parents. They look young and blooming, a couple who has it all. House, job, fame, money, servants, and a child they love the most.
In this life, let's work hard not to become a disappointment.
I quickly grew up as time passes. School was a breeze, since I knew all about the lessons already. I was talented and everywhere I go, I get praised by everyone.
I was happy, my parents were happy, everything was good.
"Hm, what is this...?"
From within my closet was an old pocket watch.
"Wow, must be antique..."
It has a golden colour, with a small delicate chain.
At first, that pocket watch was nothing but an old timekeeper to me.
Until I made a mistake and suddenly died and woke up again as a baby. It came as a shock to me, I was wondering how I died.
I was just peacefully sleeping, frustrated over the loss of investors that day. The damned enemy corporation took them away with a much better offer, creating a huge wave in the business world.
Cheria Technologies, owned by a man named Archerius who never showed his face to anyone unless they're deemed important.
He's fickle and capricious they say, and I hated him from my last life.
Even more so now. Did I die due to anger? How did I come back?
As a baby at that...
I grew up again. This time, I made sure to graduate with flying colours and become a business mogul at age 20.
They all call me a genius, but I knew I was not.
But it did give me the good feeling, no?
I know my ego inflated a lot. What can I say? I was living my best life.
My parents are happy, I was happy. There was no shortage of friends.
Until I met the man who made my heart flutter.
"This is Gnesias and Cheria companies's show down. If anything, I want this to be done and over with. I expect nothing less from our company, do you all understand?"
"Yes President Eschaufeur."
That's when the doors opened and he came in.
When he entered the conference room, my heart exploded in warmth. I felt my face heat up and butterflies seem to fly around my stomach.
Tall, tanned, indifferent. He wore a black suit and tie, and his hair was well-kept. His eyes were a sharp pair of greens that reminded me of Emeralds.
In my eyes he was the most beautiful and I felt like a lovestruck high schooler.
"Good to see you, Mr. Archerius Diolas. I am Chis from the defense bureau. It's great to have you here today. Oh! Please take a seat!"
He sat across me, and our eyes met. There was something on his eyes that made me feel ethereal.
I have never met this man, but he felt quite familiar.
" This is miss Tiana Luis Eschaufer. Miss Eschaufer, this is Mr. Archerius of the Cheria industries."
"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Archerius."
I put on an enthusiastic smile. Although he did not do the same, he did greet me back.
It was enough for me.
It was crazy how one meeting got me so fixated towards this person who was supposed to be my enemy. I did everything to be able to meet him, did everything to please him.
That's where it all started, the frequency of me regressing.
Whenever I tried to get close to him it ends up being the catalyst of my death.
In my sixteenth regression, I drowned trying to kill off the woman he was going to marry. I don't know, I was impatient.
In this life, he has to be mine. I remembered saying.
Yet here I am, back to being a baby again.
I bit my fists and silently cried.
It's great that I was able to regress! Although I love him, if I really died again without redeeming myself in front of my parents, I couldn't die in peace.
In this life, I have to remember why I wished to come back at first.
I want to change my life and make my parents proud. I want to take care of them until they're grey and old.
Yes, that's right. It's all for my parents. It's all for me.
Love, what of it? I can find tons of men in this wide world! I have lifetimes to do just that!
So I proceeded with life, heading for success.
Love? I have become jaded. What I want now is power.
To have power, I need to be someone in power.
I persuaded my father to run as a politician and convinced my mom to participate more in social gathering. They were more than happy to help their daughter and father smoothly sat down as president when I was age 26.
I smoothly became the company C. E. O. and became a corporation that even giant moguls wanted to appease.
But I knew not to trust them. I'veearned a lot from past mistakes that only the path of being heartless can save me.
"This is Mr. Archerius of Cheria Technologies. Mr. Archerius, this is Miss Tiana Luis Eschaufeur."
I handed my hand for a hand shake, a smile on my face. But this time, there was no love at all.
To me, he's just another corporation owner I need to cooperate with to reach my goals.
"Yes hello, lets cooperate."
He took my hand and shook it as well.
We worked together in several projects and occasionally, we would have dinner.
I think we became good friends. I found out that being his friend is better than being his stalker. I can actually ask someone for advice when I'm not sure of what I wanted to do.
"Seriously thank you, Cher. I really am thankful I'm your friend."
"Really?"
"Yes of course! I have someone to confide in and talk with without worrying they might not understand me. It's awkward talking about something people can't relate to, right?"
A breeze brushed by and blew on out figures. Some hair got into my eyes so I decided to fish out some hair tie with a laugh.
" You're still carrying a pocket watch? "
" Huh? Ah you mean this? It's my lucky charm. I've grown with it and every time I feel discomfort, I would look at this and it reassures me that I still got time to do what I must. There's no hurry at all."
Yes, it reminds me that I need to relax, I can regress.
" You have a good smile. "
I looked at him with a raised brow and laughed.
" Is that so? Maybe that's one of my charms? Helped me a lot of times in getting out of a stick situation. "
I tied my hair up into a bun and arranged the inside of my bag again.
I don't know why bags have to do this all the time, mixing up everything inside like it's a damn salad.
" Wait, can I look at your pocket watch for a moment? "
" Oh sure. But don't fall I love with it, it's mine okay?"
He just shook his head, as if saying I was talking nonsense. I gave him the watch and continued arranging my bag.
"This watch has been with you ever since you were a child? This was not bought recently?"
"No, I've been tied to that thing since I was a child. I found it in my room by chance and we've been together ever since."
Yes, it's the only thing that never changed even as everything resets and redo itself.
"Have you felt... Or witnessed anything weird around this watch?"
"No. It's only been a lucky charm. I would've had it fixed but I don't feel comfortable without it so I just kept it on my person."
"I see."
I turned and opened my hand to receive the pocket watch. I don't know if it was just me or he was hesitant to give it back....
But he did so, anyways.
"Thank you. Anyways, I have to go. Father and mother asked me to come home early for family dinner. I will see you around, okay? Cher?"
"Ah, yes. See you around."
With a smile, I walked towards my car, passing by his subordinates.
They all bid me farewell as well.
After that day schedule became hectic. I had to work until midnight and hadn't rested well enough. Cher asked to go out multiple times but I had to decline in order to work.
"Ma'am, you have a visitor."
"Who is it?"
"A woman named Mila."
I frowned. Isn't she the woman Cher would marry? What business does she have with me?
"What does she want?"
" I don't know ma'am. But she insists on seeing you."
So I did go see her. But she was not glad to see me. She even started yelling at me in my own office, saying I was taking Cher's time way too much.
I had enough and threw her out. Time might be eternal for me, but I would never spend it on an annoyance like her.
I forgot to call Cher about it as I was busy handling official business and the rumours spread about our family online. The press conferences flooded my schedule and before I knew it, I was too tired.
Too tired that I crashed my car and died.
Then here comes eighteenth life.
'Oh come on!'
I worked again and did everything I could.
"Its broken..?"
The pocket watch's glass was broken. I felt sad and horrible for it. It must've been from the accident as this was never here before.
"Your Pocket watch looks horrible. Do you want it fixed?"
I looked around and found the Cher of this life. We were not close, nor did we meet in this life.
I avoided him as much as possible. He and I need to part ways in this life if I wanted to rest. Last life, all the rumours spread against me and my family were from the side of his fiancé's family.
"It's alright, I can have it repaired. This gentleman doesn't need to bother."
"No. That watch can only be repaired by our family. This is a Diolas watch which is a limited edition our family made for noblemen. This one is especially handcrafted by me when I was 15, so technically speaking, only I can repair it."
Huh? What is he saying?
" Diolas, who is that? I have never heard of them."
"Look at the dial's surface, you'll see small engravings of the clock maker on it."
"Hm, I can't see it."
It's so small, I can barely see anything.
"Then, why not come with me to my family home? I can show you our workshop."
Cher's home? For real?!
He never let me go to his house but he is actually going to bring me there?!
Even his subordinates look taken aback.
"Hm, sure. But what's your name? I have to tell my secretary first so if I go missing, she knows who took me."
His left eye twitched, but he did introduce myself.
It Felt surreal, actually.
After that I followed their cars for half an hour, and we arrived at a mansion.
A butler and maid greeted us. Then, there were a few family members who looked at me with enthusiasm.
I smiled at them, and tried my best to greet each and everyone before following Cher upstairs.
He led me to a room with double doors made out of sandalwood.
Weird thing to have... But alright, no judgement made...
"Wow..."
My eyes was flooded with a steam punk-esque room. There were tools on the table, clocks of all sizes, shelfs with boxes organized with labels etched on it. There were three French windows, a huge red couch, blue matted floors, chandeliers and cabinets.
"Come here."
After a brief moment of amazement, I walked towards him. He asked me to pull out the pocket watch and put it under the big lenses.
"There, take a look."
"Well then, excuse me."
I looked under the microscope and true to his words, there were his name etched on the dial surface.
"But how..."
The Cher in the last life expressed interest in this watch too.
Could he be connected to this watch too in the last life? But how did it end up in my closet?
"Let me repair the broken glass."
"Oh uhm, I don't want to bother you-"
He suddenly touched my face, moving a strand of my hair out of the way.
"It's no bother. I'll even engrave your name on it too."
Uhm... Yes?
He had me sit down and eat something while he worked on the repairing process. I sat on the couch eating cupcakes and drinking tea while I watch him work from a distance.
He looks so serious, but I'm more curious of how the process is going...
I saw him do this and that, turning on machines and placing in something into the clock.
It was shiny. I don't much about clocks though, so it's better that I let him do his work.
"Do you want to look?"
"Ehem. Uhm, yes."
Was I staring too intensely? I stood up and went to look at his work.
"Wow! That is so pretty, what is it?"
"It's called a time fragment. Isn't it pretty?"
"This stone must be rare... I haven't seen or heard of it before."
He secured the colourful stone inside the clock and started to piece it altogether.
I still feel strange that a clock has a stone like that inside... Do clocks normally have those?
"Here you go, finished. Its as good as new."
The pocket watch was polished so it was now shiny, it has my name engraved on the body of the pocket watch itself, the glass was fixed, but the watch itself still doesn't work.
"Uhm, it still doesn't work...?"
He turned to me for a moment before he continued cleaning his workstation. I frowned and looked at him with a puzzled expression.
"Cher? Why doesn't this work still?"
He placed his apron down and folded the gloves he used.
"It's working perfectly."
"But, the dial..."
"Youre alive, right? It means it works perfectly. I'm never going to give someone I love a piece of garbage."
... What did he say?
"Wait-come again? I-I don't understand-"
He gave me a look and a sigh. Then took my hands into his, leaned down and kissed my fingers.
"I said, it works perfectly."
"Woah! Woah! Let me go-Sir, please don't kiss my hands..!"
I felt my calm heart ripple and my face started heating up. The place he had kissed began to itch, but he had a death grip on my fingers and he never ceased to look at me.
"Tiana, look at me."
"No, I don't want to!"
"No, look at me."
I turned with a frown at him.
"You look like a kitten baring it's small paws, it's cute."
WHAT HE SAY?!
"?! I'm not! Let me go!"
"Okay I was joking, I was joking. If you go now, you might regret this moment and regress again. Then again, we can play this game."
"Wait... You know I regress? How? Why? Who are you?"
He looked at me calmly, and then the pocket watch in my hands.
"A long time ago, my Ancestor found the source of immortality. Such a thing was something all men sought for. He too, was greedy for this power, and wanted it all to himself. But to get immortality, he had to kill off its owner, an entity known as an elf. Tall, white, long eared beautiful Mariana was a stunning creature of the land. She was eccentric, and usually kept outsiders away. However, my ancestor was a very charming man and charmed his way into her heart and into immortality. She was so pure, so innocent that my ancestor fell in love and decided to not kill her. They hid and created a family. But as many men wanted immortality, they sought after our ancestors. My great great grandfather was a talented man at making small trinkets, like clocks. So with the help of creativity and a bit of power from his wife, he created the very first time traveling watch. They could escape anytime, anywhere with it, and hide their children from evil. This is how we came to be. As for the stones called fragments of time, it's a stone which multiplies each decades pass by. It counts all regressions, too. "
" Does that mean.. You created this pocket watch so it also counted my regressions..? "
" Exactly. Eighteen regression, it must have been hard on you. "
" But how... How did this end up on my room? "
He suddenly went quite, and for the first time I saw a smile bloom on his face.
" Well, I made this watch just to find the one I was destined for. Only when I see it again, will I remember this watch. So if I was rude in all the other lifetimes... I'm sorry, I'm really sorry."
"Uhm, it's not your fault. We didn't have a relationship after all... I was too obsessive on that particular life... But I'm not like that now! I promise."
"You.. Don't like me anymore?"
"Eh?"
Why are you looking at me like that? Don't look at me like a lost puppy!
"I like you, Tiana. Hm, no. I love you."
?!
"That's too sudden and too early, are you sure you're not just marrying me because I have the pocket watch?"
"I'm not that type of man. Even if you had it, and I love someone else, I would not marry you. Look, I even fixed it for you and gave it another time fragment so we can be together forever."
"Ah... Uhm... You see.."
"Are you going to regress? Don't worry, I'll still follow you... Though, I was already sad when you died in the last life... But I can wait, it was fun looking at you taking your first steps."
Wait is he referring to the baby me?!
My face burnt red. I was a pudgy baby, I was cute but.. But its still embarrassing!
" You! T-this-You can't just watch others like that! "
" But you were so cute and cuddly... Sometimes I want to just pick you up and pinch your cheeks..."
What the hel... He's acting like a complete scoundrel!
"Wait wait, you're supposed to be the cold, indifferent, Mr. Archerius. You sound so creepy right now!"
"Oh, I can act cold and indifferent too but, I won't get to see you flustered right? You look good with red cheeks by the way."
This... This man!!!!!
So, we got married.
Time flies huh?
"Okay, so. If you cheat on me, I'll regress."
He look at me and leaned down for a kiss.
"Alright, I can't wait to get married again."
This person!
"Be careful, I might really do it."
"I'm not a cheater. But if you're into regression kink and stuff, I'm very capable."
"Aish! Take me seriously! There's only you and me right now, I can regress if I want to so be careful."
With a calm face he picked me up and smiled.
"Let's make children, that way, you will have second thoughts on regressing."
"Hey! What a shrewd man! Put me down! Ah! Don't tickle me haha hahaha!"
From then on, I never regressed. We lived together and continued to live on. I found out that he has a very huge family. All of them undying. Each mortal spouse has a token made by their partners, and lived together in seclusion for many years after their first life as married couple ends.
Its the same for me and Cher. After training our children, we handed them the company.
My dad and mom passed away at age 90, it was heartbreaking.. But if it was only me alone, I would have been depressed.
But my new family is here now, and I'm sure my parents and friends is in a good place.
Time and time again, I regressed. Only to find out that happiness lies only when I strive for my own happiness. Fate does not hate me, it simply thought that my life that time was trashy, I need a change.
God gave me this man, no? I won't be alone.
Either way, if he ever breaks his vow, let's go on a time loop again~
"Honey, are you thinking of regressing? It's been a thousand and three years...."
"Husband, do you perhaps know what Kingdoms look like before?"
"Hm, let's go on a vacation. How about visiting Eduardian Era England? (did I write it correctly?)"
"Sure, let's go."
Hand in hand, we face our destiny again....
