It's continuously raining outside, I don't know why I can't put myself together these days... every time it's rained I have thoughts about her. just a while ago, I was imagining her in that rain with an umbrella in her hand, walking..... her dress is slightly wet. and her facial expressions said she was enjoying herself, it was so obvious with that heartwarming smile.
I got up from my chair and came near the window and then I realized she can not be there...
and now I'm in front of the window looking at how every single thing is getting drenched. wet road, window glasses, and this cold weather are giving me a taste of my old memories.
this memory is all in what I'm dwelling on. I spent my 60 years in this world, it's been 60 right?
and I never get enough time to look back on my life...now after my health breakdown, it's so easy to go back and forth in my mind.
why I'm so impatient today? ..my mind... wants to go back.... the past is calling me. I look at the blank wall... tears falling from my eyes, I can't hold back. I slowly approach the desk, in the corner of my room, there is my lifetime secret that no one knows, not a single being in this world. A watch, a pocket watch with a golden chain, one of the old models of 70s Majestime. It may look like a normal watch but it's not normal at all, I turn the watch's hands the backward, yes... just 3 times backward and I will be able to go back 15 years ago. Here it's special, a smirk occurred on my face.
In instant, I'm in the past, it's fifteen years ago, in my house, I saw myself, getting ready to go to my office.... look how strong I was then. Of course, a chief commander will be that strong, a feeling of my prideful youth got me.
I'm air now no one can see me, my soul is here but my body is in the present.
I was wondering, suddenly a beautiful lady passed by me... I paused, Maria!!
That lady hugged my younger feature tightly," Jack! Please come home early today."
I'm seeing from far... that person smiling and saying while caressing his wife's hair," is it something special today?"
"you forgot!! today's Anna's birthday!! " she said hurriedly.
Anna!! that name makes my heart ache. Anna!! Maria and my only child, our beloved daughter, a lump of sadness knocking at my throat.... my whole heart are feeling bitterness.
"it will be her 7th birthday!! make sure to bring her gift from your way back" Maria's voice came from the bedroom.
This couple doesn't know what is waiting for them!! I came in front of that room, slightly open the door, ahh!! just like a mountain of sorrow is melting, a bright face is sleeping with brown curly hair and pretty round eyes... her rosy cheeks are beaming with sunlight. I can't take my eyes off... cause at present I am not able to get a glimpse of this face this tiny feature... I came closer to bed, and slowly put my hand on her head... her warmness... I can't feel anything but it must be warm.... aww!! my baby, I give my airy kiss on her head.
after today, they can not meet with you anymore, but it's not for me, right? I can see you forever, my darling!!
when we lost Anna, it was her 7th birthday, and with her departure, we lost our hope in life... Maria got mentally down, and her illness never recover, at the last day of her life she forgot even herself, except Anna!!
I buried myself in my workload and tried so much to recover Maria, but could not ... one day, in Switzerland, I was on duty in a canton.
an old man was trading pocket watches... no one paying attention... I thought to do some help... but he gave me this watch and said, "put an effort of three rounds and go back in time or see the destiny ". At first, I was reluctant, but he said again, " you are in the sorrow ship, wanna someone to escort you, one is waiting in time-lapse for you." he didn't wait for my reply, just vanished into the crowd.
later I found out, that this magic and that this person all live in my time journey, in another world.
" Jack!! you came today, you know after some time I can not see my body here, every time, it disappeared on the same day same time." a tiny little airy figure touched me. That makes me smile, "so what, we are together forever!! everywhere, I go, I can feel you, you also feel me.. the difference is I am aging but - "
" I'm not!! " this little figure says with her jingling tone and laugh.
I'm 60, don't know, how much time I have... still...
"let's go to that world where those big buildings are, and people are too busy and everything is automatic... I wanna see a speedy 'boom -boom'."
I just smiled with a fluttering heart.
💓 the end 💓
I don't know who is reading it, by the way, thank you.
