Why did I have to go through this??
Why?? just why?? I didn't ask for this.... ,but everything changed in a blink of an eye....
Everything was fine, I was living just fine..,Everything was normal.., I am Kim Taehyung,26 years old. I was born, brought up in healthy atmosphere, even though I was an orphan ,I still had a lot of friends ,so close to be called as brothers and sisters, and claim their family as mine...Yes, so what if I didn't have a family of mine, I could make one by myself, and that is exactly what I did...,and I had a dream too, like everyone... So I worked hard, on and on until I reached my goal...Finally I became what I wanted to be.. a well renowned model and actor...which was proved by the names I got or more precisely 'earned' ,"Enthralling Incarnate"or"King of Versatility"...and a lot more, is what they called me...
I had just got a taste of 'fame', when I slipped from the stage,about 20 feet high, and hit my head on the ground ...,well I was casted in a historical drama "Heaven's curse or Hell's blessing"...and I died when I was shooting a fighting scene ,obviously with a green screen behind..., I'm not sure what exactly happened.., I'm still in dilemma, was my death because of the faulty props, or someone's desperate deliberation.., cuz I think I saw a faint creepy smile of a figure,most likely a woman in white historical robe with violet embroidery...,probably one of those jealous bitchy counterparts, who would spend more time grinding their teeths,and spitting curses on me, out of envy, rather than improving themselves....ironically in that vivid moment of dying.. all I could do was only laugh on how I was going to die...either because of someone's ploy.. or the so-called 'fate'..,or whatever the reason ,and all my blood, sweat& tears disappearing with me..,all efforts in vain......
Then, I woke up in an unknown place.., I did what everyone would do.., scanned through my surroundings, found everything different, including myself, I was more like a female than a male,... then suddenly my head started hurting, like someone had hit it with hammer.I screamed out of pain, causing people to rush inside the luxurious ambient room ,but before I could proceed, my vision blurred and I collapsed.A wave of memories gushed through my mind,'A novel' is what I thought ,...and just like a typical time travel story, I entered into the body of a villain ore,who did shitty things to the female lead to get the male lead..., and indisputably killed at the end.... So I did all I could to survive, alienated myself from the stupid plot and the male lead, to escape the cruel fate of death.., after all I had the memories of the owner about the past and the future..,and luckily I had been sent to the time before I did any inexpiable sin. To be honest it was a piece of cake for me, ofcourse it should be... I was known as best actor for a reason...I did it too..
So, I thought, time travel is not something to worry about.., but that is only until I met him...
Jeon Jungkook,the second male lead of the novel, a cold and aloof warrior, who would enter the plot only for a brief moment, that too only to fall in love with the female lead, and help her through the miseries, she had to face due to the villain, that is me..and eventually punish the evil, and disappear into thin air, like he didn't exist, why?, because she loved the male lead.. and him being love sick, went to war, and soon died, loving the fl until his last breath...
well this was his fate, but it changed, or more precisely I changed it... cuz the story had already went astray... I didn't become the villain, so he was voided of his purpose of punishing the evil.....
although he still had one more reason, to love the female lead..
But,what he said shocked me to the core... I was dumbstruck ,I couldn't believe my ears...He said he don't love the female lead, but what surprised me more was when he confessed that he loves me... This is what he exactly said"i don't love her, I love you..,my petal "...I was like dude, seriously I could somehow agree that you didn't fall for FL, but falling in love with me,.. like wth If I'm the villain of novel, then you are my villain who could take my life anytime.., will the butterfly effect cause so much of difference.., I asked myself and found no answers ... So,I did what I thought was right, I avoided him, turned him down,insulted him and everything that could make me far away from him..... but at the end everything went in vain, Eventually, I fell for him, I loved him for everything he was and did...
But the cruel fate followed me like a shadow.., I died again, the moment I confessed my love to him,I was pushed into flowing stream,by some woman, don't know who.., and died drowning ..,I had made a whole scenario of my life together with him, dates,marriage, family,everything ,but I couldn't win death... n also I couldn't even see him clearly when I took my last breath, but I heard him crying and shouting.....
Again, I opened my eyes, in a different place, an ancient room filled with antiques.., that's when I realized that I was awake and I left him behind.. I cried and cried until I had no more tears left... it felt like someone pierced my heart, it hurt so much that it couldn't be put into words..., Suddenly my heart started beating rapidly, just like it always did when I was with him, then I heard a voice, which I thought I never would, I lifted my head to see the same doe eyes, muscular physique and the human bunny.., I sprinted towards him and hugged, crying loudly like my life depended on it, it did though, he was startled, maybe taken aback by my sudden embrace, but still he comforted me patting my back,, I decided that this time I wouldn't let him go, and if you ask how I was sure it was the same jungkook I loved, then the answer is my heart.. my mind could possibly not be right , but heart can never be wrong..,..
Days went by, I clinged onto him, and again loved the hooman bunny, whose eyes held a thousand falling shooting stars.., this time it was me, who proactively approached him, pleased him and did everything to get his attention, and I succeeded too..
The day came, when he confessed, I was on cloud nine.., but the happiness didn't last long.... The fate had to play it's game, and this time it was him dying infront of me..I saw him in pain, blood oozing out of his chest through the stabbed sword from the back ..." so this is what he would have felt when I was dying ",I thought.., I cried loudly and immediately hugged him tightly, the same sword stabbing me,I said smiling "I love you my bunny.."....,he cried and said "I love you more ,petal"....
I again woke up in different place, in different body, ..now I realized everytime I die, I would be reincarnated again but in different world...i can time travel ,and shuttle to any time and space.., but what's the purpose of my life without him....
Surprisingly I again found him, and I know it's him...,
I again fell in love, again wooed him and eventually died again after we knew our love for each other...
I strongly believed, no matter how many lives, I would still find him, and love only him and also had a thought I'll live happily with him, which would always make me feel goosebumps and my stomach churning.... Trust me I did believe that... but....
Not once, twice, or thrice, but many more times that I don't even have a count anymore, I tried, I tried and tried to live with him, but failed miserably...
Why is he like an immortal???, follows me everywhere,.... he holds galaxies within his eyes...,his gaze screams love ,but why doesn't he know that...why does he forget me everytime?, but his actions evinces care and affection.., why it is always me, who remembers everything!! about him, about us.., why do I have to suffer like this...??it kills me every first time he says that he doesn't know me!!
I would meet him in different places, different times, in different names, in different relations....
Sometimes as Gguk ,David, Justin, junghoon.., many more.. as my nemesis, best friend, brother in law, ex boyfriend, lover, slave, enemy, and much more.., but everytime it's the same doe eyes, rosy lips and the mole under his lips... yet not even once, could I claim my bunny as mine and me as his...
Why?? Why??... I can't be his, not even a single time..., Is this a blessing or curse??,If it like this,
why him,everytime?...why do I meet him everytime,
why do I wake up everytime, just to meet him, love him like my life,, but die when we finally confess our love....
I love him and he loves me... but why can't we live together....!!
That is when I realized... I was allowed to love him but not to live with him... that is my cruel fate ....
I'm stuck in this never-ending loop for eternity, to love him like moon loves a star...I can love him as deep as ocean and as high as sky...., but ironically, the distance between us should also be as the metaphor... I can admire him and love him, only from far... just like a moon loves a star.... by the looks moon is very close to the star, but the reality is that star is very farther from the moon....
I'm his, he is mine.. it's a fact...
but still, why can't we be like that....
like a honey bee finds a way to the flower...
like rain drops reaches the ground....
like waves meet the sea shore.....
why? why? why?..we are obviously meant for each other,...
but why can't we be together???...
Will this ever end???, will I ever be able to live with him like I envisioned...,Will he ever embrace me like he did the first time?..., Will he ever kiss me till I drop...?Will he ever bear all my tantrums, and pacify me everytime..?,Will I ever be able to marry him??, Will I ever carry his pups??..Will he ever treat me like the petal he said I am.... ??
I don't know if all my desires will ever be fulfilled...
But one thing is for sure....I, Kim taehyung loved him, love him, and will always love him...
I was his, I'm his and will always be...
yes, his...,and only his petal.....
This soul would hold, no one, but the human bunny Jeon Jungkook (chuckles) .., for eternity..!!!
