For some reason, my cousin and I never got along I don't know, maybe our taste or our difference. It could be because of different things, they say that families are always united but for us, each time that time passes we were more distant. We barely crossed words until my parents passed away in an accident i had to go to live with my aunt and uncle they were good people and they saw me as their daughter just like me they were my only families, well everything would be fine if i would get along with my cousin but apparently it is something impossible, every time i try to get close to him he puts a wall between us it is as if we were in different worlds.... he was always cold to me for some reason, i have wondered if i have done something to him that i don't remember but my memories don't fail i don't do anything to him, so why, i have always wondered why he always puts a wall between us. We are family and family is supposed to be close and united but apparently that word doesn't exist for both of us. Until one day i got out of college and my uncles said that my cousin Justin had gone abroad to study, he knew our relationship was bad but at least he should have said goodbye.
it's been two years since then, my cousin still hasn't come back and i haven't heard anything from him since then, only a few times he has asked my uncles they always say he is fine, 5 months ago i am in a relationship with a guy i met at the university. I really don't know if I love him or not but we both promised that if it didn't work out we could break up; and just be friends, actually, I am a fashion designer. I love to design, that was always my dream just like my mother. I left work early today since my uncles said they had a surprise for me, I was anxious to see what it was. I arrived home very early and rang the doorbell expecting someone to open the door for me, seconds later someone opened the door it was a boy that strangely looked familiar.
"who are you?"
"That's what I asked," he looked me straight in the eyes, his gaze seemed quite familiar. But before he could answer, my aunt appeared.
"I see you've already seen the surprise, my dear."
"What do you mean aunt?"
"It can't be my dear, don't you remember your cousin?"
"Cousin"
I looked at the boy again, he seemed quite familiar, and that penetrating look, I didn't know how to behave in front of him, he had changed too much, I entered the house and we all talked at dinner, well everything would be fine if my cousin wasn't looking at me, I felt so nervous, for some reason I feel that he is a stranger.
After talking my aunt and uncle did suggest that I give him a ride in the car, I wanted to refuse but in the end I had no choice but to accept, we both said goodbye and got in the car the whole ride was silent. I had no plans to show him around New York just a few streets. My phone vibrated looking at the screen it was Xavier, my boyfriend.
"My love"
I heard my cousin's voice in the back, that nickname I gave to Xavier, I didn't answer his question although I didn't know if it was one, I answered Xavier's call, he was inviting me to his house to spend the weekend together, I was about to accept when a hand passed in front of me hanging up the call My cousin had hung up the call.
"What do you think you are doing?"
He didn't answer the question, no doubt he was an idiot, I dialed again to call Xavier but before I could do it he took my cell phone, I was driving and I didn't want to fight because it could cause an accident, that was the least I wanted now I had to stop the car in the middle of the road.
"Give me back my phone."
I tried to take it out of his hands but it was very difficult since he was sitting in the back seat.
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Don't you see that I do, now give me my phone back."
I was about to lose what little patience I had left, but he didn't give me my phone back, he threw it out the window and made it break,
"You f***ing brat what did you do?"
"You still look like a brat."
I am four years older than him, so I had always called him a brat, I was full of fury, I don't know why I accepted to give him a ride to the city, I must have been crazy, I had to go behind, without realizing it I was already sitting on his lap, I didn't even know when I got here, I was about to get off when he grabbed me around the waist preventing him, seeing his face so close, and those green eyes that always caught my attention made me blush unconsciously. I don't know what was in my head that I reciprocated his kiss even though I struggled at first, but when I realized what we were doing I pulled away from him. But again he kissed me again that night I let myself go too much to the point that I slept with him, I know it is not normal he is my family and I should not feel attraction for him.
It's been a month since then, since that moment my mind has been too confused and for some reason I can't forget that night, I haven't been back to my uncles house I have a conscience and I wouldn't have the face to see both of them. I broke up with Xavier a week ago, he didn't deserve this since after that moment with my cousin I have only been thinking about him, and I didn't want to hurt Xavier fortunately he understood, I had taken time off work and decided to go clear my mind somewhere else, my feelings were too confused, I wanted to go to Paris since I have a friend there and maybe she could give me some advice. I just hope I'm wrong. And not to be in love with him.
I was at the airport waiting for my flight, as soon as they called I grabbed my suitcase, I had planned to call my aunt and uncle after I arrived I knew they would understand. I was just about to board the plane when a hand grabbed me pulling me out of the plane. I was about to scream out of shock.
"It's me"
"Justin"
It was my cousin though, how come he's here, how did he know I was here.
"Don't go Ashley, don't go."
Seeing his sad face I felt an unknown feeling, but I was too confused I didn't have my feelings clear, it would be possible that I liked my cousin but I refused to accept that this was the reality.
"I'm sorry but I have to do it I'm too confused, and I have to clear my mind at least one place away from here I don't want to think that I like my cousin, you are my family we have the same blood."
"Then I will wait for you, I will wait until you clarify your feelings, but first of all, I want to tell you, I like you Ashley, I have liked you since we were kids."
It was hard to believe that she liked me but this is not the most important thing, this was impossible that love is IMPOSSIBLE.
"I got jealous that night when I found out you had a boyfriend and I couldn't control myself, I know this shouldn't be but I was struggling with that feeling a long time ago Ashley and in the end I couldn't control myself anymore."
I was about to speak when my flight was called again. I let go of his grip, I might like him and I might even be in love with him, but that love is impossible we have the same blood we are family and families should not have those kinds of feelings for each other.
"I'm sorry but there's no way back, that love is not possible, besides I'm too confused, I need some time alone."
"Then I will wait for you."
He pulled me towards him joining our lips in a kiss, even though I knew I should get away from him, but I didn't have the courage to do it, since it could be a long time before we see each other again, I'm not sure if I'm going to come back.
In the end I boarded the plane looking at my cousin through the plane window, maybe I will make a good decision before this will go too far, but it may also be a bad decision, I don't know, what may happen in the future if we will see each other again or maybe we will have our partners then.
But what I do know, is that our love is IMPOSSIBLE.
