“The night we met…” I looked at my students, trying to see if they were going to be interested. “I was only 18 years old…and he was 19. I loved his eyes…his smile…everything about him made me love every bit of him…and his life.” I smiled for an unknown reason, even if I knew what the ending of our story is going to be, I still can’t help but love every part of it. “He did not love what I loved about him though. He actually hated it. He hated himself, he hated his life. I didn’t want him to see life the way he did, I wanted him to see the beauty life has yet to give to him, I wanted him to know the peace his presence makes me feel. I wanted him…to be free of pain and suffering.”
I felt the anticipating eyes of my students while I look at the clouds from outside of the window. It has been 30 years ever since we bid our goodbyes. And up until now…I can still feel his eyes piercing into mine…asking for help. “I have loved him secretly for 2 years. And on that night, when we first met. That was the first chat, first eye contact, and first handshake I ever had with him…and I also did not know that that would be the last time I would ever see him again. The night…was very dark…but within those darkness were a lot of stars shining from within. Everyone sees that…except night himself. And everyone knew the light inside him…but no one knew that the darkness was slowly eating the stars…slowly…and painfully. God I wish I knew what was about to happen.” I closed my eyes as I heard the sound of droplets of rain echoing throughout the classroom that I am in. Those drops of rain…felt like his tears. “He killed himself.”
My students looked at me, they were…shocked. Some were wondering as to why I was talking about this during our math time. “Do not let the darkness take over you.” I looked at my watch. 5 more minutes before the bell rings. I started fixing my things, trying to keep myself from crying in front of my students.
“The darkness is beautiful…but it is more mesmerizing with the stars and the moon with it as a company. Those bright little stars are the things that makes you happy…and makes you, the way you are. It may not be as many as the stars you expect it would be…but with time and love…and you…they would grow. So…you can be the darkness and let the the stars shine inside you. That is what makes you strong. Keep on pulling in the stars my students.” I once again looked at my dear little stars. I am now 51 years old, I am the day and I now want to rest in my own darkness…and let Night…be with me.
But all I want is to go back to the night we met
