My whole life I spend with my study, friends and family.I was a girl who neither have any idea that she was abused in her childhood nor have knowledge there is a different version of love, let alone I knew about the exquisite thread between love and like.
When I realized what happened back then I went depressed.My parents couldn't even notice because they were so busy making our life better.There were friends all around me but not a single one was like I could share myself.Even thought I tried to took my life for two time realising my position in family and that I'm noone for anybody,I'm happy today because it made me strong dealing everything by myself.And that was the time when I met Neel.
Neel was a play boy before meeting me.He and I were high school classmates but never really talked to each other.When we again met in elementary school we got a different version of each other.After interacting several times by several incidents we somehow got into relationship.It was like a dream of mine with a dream boy that everyone wanted.His aroma engulfed me like an obsession and made me flinch all the way his fingers touched my skin.We went through a lots of problems in three years but day by day he changed and became more considerate.He says "Whatever I am today its all because of you.I have a goal of my career now the only reason is you. You are the only truth of my life who can't be wrong. I did a lots of bad and I'm ready for the castigation but promise me to hold my hands" I said,"I promise."
They say, you shouldn't make promise when you're happy.I forgot to apply that along with the realisation that I indeed felt worm with him but the emptiness in me still exists as even after three years even he says confidently that he knows everything about me but he never knew about my depression let alone the cause.I regret, not because we were in a meaningless relationship but he changed just for me and I was the one who hurt him and still after two years of our relationship he sees me for everything good thing he does.
When we were in a relationship with Neel I felt my heart is about to blast, I wished him to be mine alone but a strange suffocation was around me all the time.Its ridiculous that I left the same person without turning back.I wondered the whole time how selfish I am.I was guilty of his heart who couldn't even afford to say sorry to him.
After my first and last relationship tragedy I was not depressed but hopeless with myself.So I decided not to go in a relationship and focus only on my career.Recently one person is hurting my igo so much by pointing all my flows and waiting till I correct them.I don't really hate him because I realized I can actually be the better person.Honestly it would sound so ridiculous if I say its because of he's nagging I feel at ease around him even though he is so irritating.His straight forward but reticent I don't know what is going on his head.But it feels good to be a company of him.I am not familiar with this strange feeling but surely its not suffocating.
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AUTHOR NOTE:
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(づ￣ ³￣)づ
