Dream..
that's what i hate most from the core of my heart.
This is beacuse the moment i started to breath everyone started to expect me to be "that perfect girl ". It's annoying how I've flaws and It's normal.
for that dream I'm doing every hard work and ruining things.
from the moment youth has started and love started to bloom in the air of my life, i started to hate the thing to core. Every now and then all this new things to experience is also a stone in my heart. No, i don't hate experiencing everything i just hate those things which is too hard for my young mind.
Hating myself was the first thing I've never meant to be but, the young fragile heart of mine started to hate this hazel reality.
I know someday I'll vanish.... and will be free from every " dream "things.
will i be more happier then now?
I've always wanted to be me.
I'm afrid they will be scared of those wounds under my invisible mask.....
how it feels to be free?
will every rain will wish me happy birthday like I've dreamed of?
will every new flowers will make me feel like I'm alive like I've needed for my young eyes and arms?
why It's so hard to achieve?
why i can't touch it?
why I'm feeling like some fading rose?
will i able to touch it?
or it’s just " not so far " fairy tales in my life?
in my not so perfect life I've experience a lil more then i should. I can't help but think I'm from an alien land. Ask me why? cause i do think some more deep things and thats what they all hate in me. well, you can say that's the main part of me that's why I'm uniqe and bit spicer then any other's girl from my age.
Backing up every single memory my heart holds is something i do love when i recall all of them.
I've got to experience some fake flowers in my youngest days of starting. I laugh every time i tried to remember those days. why not! i never knew they will make me stronger inside.
a certain one said to me I'm mentally matured.
well, this is secret untill all of them started to jokes around about me and my taste. well, care less you will fear less i told myself. I do as i tried.
