Hi everyone ☺️👋 so imma introduce myself... I'm 13 and in 8th grade. My name is kinda long so maybe you all won't be interested anyway....😌😌
I'm gonna tell you a story about myself and idk if you all experienced this like I do. Just give me a comment 💬💬😙
When I finished 4th grade and went to 5th grade, we had a transfer student.(I'll just refer to him here CERTAIN SOMEONE) At first, I thought he's kind, well-behaved, smart and like that and not like other boys in our class🙄🙄. I didn't fell for him at *first*. In my mind he's not like other boys. Our class is actually known in our school for being mischievous. Then as time goes by, he's beginning to be annoying, nuisance, and ssoo... mischievous and noisy😤😤 . And I'm beginning to hate him! I wrote in my journal that (I wish he'll behave or just transfer to another school!! I almost wrote, I WISH HE DIE! but I thought that it's bad so I didn't wrote it. When he's absent, I really felt happy. And when I see him, my blood suddenly boils. During class, my teacher told us the more you hate, the more you love. At first I didn't believed it. It suddenly came to my mind, what if I fall for HIM and we'd get married? I really felt disgusted by that though, like really disgusted.... I treated him like my mortal enemy.
As time goes by, I finished 5th grade and went to 6th grade. After my vacation, I met him and didn't felt angry like before.... So I ignored him. Before I realized, my feelings for him are beginning to grow. I really really hesitated and can't accept Bcoz he was my enemy. Now, things have changed. When I don't see him, I felt sad.... and when I see him I'm happy.... I always blush and my heart beat fast when I see him.... I said to God {God, did you do this to me? Is this my punishment? Why would you make me Fall for him of all people...?} It's like the opposite of how I treated him before.I kept thinking of him and always dreamt about him. When I see he flirt with a different girl, I somehow feel jealous 😞😞. I really don't want to accept this feelings. I keep trying to erase but it didn't work. Instead, I keep thinking of him 😞😞. I always do something to get his attention and after a while, I realized that it was stupid of me....😓😓
Currently, I don't have a crush except for him... even idols! even BTS! or whoever! I keep cursing myself...
Tell me, do I need to accept, or just ignore?
PLS give me an advice...😔😔😩😣
