Nothing was going my way, getting my new shoes ruined by stepping on gooey mud right out of my home, which almost made me slip and fall on my face and getting rejected at the audition for the role that I had been preparing so hard to attain. It was the movie by my favourite director, known for his perfection in the scenes he captured through those lenses. I was so sure of my acting skills until I saw him there down the stage, looking at me with those stern eyes, making me anxious and nervous that I couldn't deliver the dialogue the way I wanted. I would say it was the perfect definition of a bad day.
I didn't want to go home after all that; no one back home genuinely supported my idea of going to the audition. Somehow, everyone was so sure that I wouldn't make it. Though those words did come true, the reason was not my incompetence or lacking skills but the anxiety caused by various factors. Their words were like a curse spell on me, which always took effect at crucial times like these. If I went back home, they would eat me alive with their criticisms without giving me a bit of solace.
The anxiety, I suffer from was because of the pressure they put on me whenever I made a decision different from what they had in mind for me. Be it a dress I select for my daily use or a pyjama I wear at home or my choice of friends or courses I took, They criticised me on every step. They kept whispering in my ears that I would fail.
After my high school graduation, they asked me just for courtesy about my choice of school. They were expecting me to choose medical school but instead I wanted to be an actor. I was going on about living different lives through acting and the privilege of bringing out your favourite characters to life. They all went silent and were staring at me in confusion. They were silently screaming, 'What are you talking about? An actor? Do you want to be an actor after graduating with such good grades?' Then came forward one of my uncles to ask me, "Did you know, not many people are geniuses like you? You have a very good brain that has the potential to let you become anything you want. Why would want to waste it out by choosing such a life? The doctor has the respect which no one else can ever dream of having. You get to save lives, isn't that a godly job? Don't you see it?" I didn't know how to make them realise that, however great and rewarding a doctor's job maybe it, what can satisfy me is acting.
I had to go to a medical school upon pressure from my relatives. There I happened to make a friend who listened to my troubles and had me convinced that, I shouldn't be wasting my time and energy on something that can't satisfy me. That was when I discontinued Medical school and went to join Acting school to pursue a new world, totally unknown to me.
Of course, it was hard, I didn't join this cruise hoping for a smooth sail over a very calm sea.
