Chapter 1
“I’m bac—”
I had just come back from school, opened the living room door, and
was stunned into silence by the sight in front of me.
Silky, long black hair. A frilly white blouse. A high-waisted, kneelength, navy blue skirt with thin black stockings. This very combination
was popular on the internet not so long ago as one of many outfits that
could kill virgins. The beautiful girl in front of me was making it live up to
its “virgin killer” name. Over the top, she wore an equally frilly apron as
she cooked.
“Oh! Welcome back, Onii-chan! Dinner’s ready!”
I couldn’t find the words to reply.
“Or do you want to take your bath first? The tub is already full.”
“No, wait a second...”
“Well, since it’s ready, might as well eat dinner first, right?”
Ignoring my complaints, the beautiful girl laid food across the coffee
table. Everything looked delicious, and the mouthwatering scent of
hamburger steak, white rice, and miso soup drifted up my nostrils.
“Let’s eat!” she chimed. We sat together on the couch, chopsticks in
hand.
“Hm? Whatcha starin’ at? Ah, I get it! You want me to feed you, don’t
you?” she asked.
“Excuse me?!”
“What am I going to do with you? Come now, open wide!”
She took a piece of hamburger and shoved it into my face, so I had no
choice but to open my mouth.
“Mmph!”
The meat was much hotter than I expected. I let out a painful moan.
“How is it? Is it tasty? You must be tired after that long day at school!
But don’t worry, your little sister is here to listen to all your troubles.”
Tears streamed down my face from having my mouth literally
scorched, but she didn’t seem to care, and had moved on to stroking my
hair.
“Good boy! You’ve been such a good boy.”
I’d feared for my life when I had that burning hot piece of meat stuffed
into my mouth, but I must admit that having my head caressed didn’t feel
half bad. She was way too heavy-handed about it, but I could tolerate it.
Maybe.
“I-I’ll eat the rest by myself,” I said, hoping to keep the wounds to a
minimum, and started eating the hamburger with my own chopsticks.
“Hm... it’s good.”
“It’s not like I made it especially for you! I just wanted to eat
hamburger steak and I ended up making too much.”
“What?”
Her change in tone caught me off guard. She was the one who’d asked
me how the hamburger tasted, and now that I’d replied she was mad at me.
“And anyway,” she said, “you came home late today and you didn’t
text me or anything. Why? I was waiting for you and even made you
dinner. Is it another girl? Were you out with another girl?”
“Huh?”
Her expression darkened and she forcefully grabbed my arm.
“Show me your phone. I need to check whether you’ve been texting
other girls.”
“Hey, wait!”
“Nishina, you’re getting it all wrooong!” I shouted at her. “The outfit is
cute, and preparing dinner is fine too. But what’s with the younger sister
roleplay? Then you switched to a caring older sister type! Then tsundere!
And then yandere! Make up your mind! There’s so much going on that
I’m getting lost!”
“But I just did the stuff I saw in the anime you recommended! All the
things that otaku guys are supposed to love! And I performed them all
perfectly!”
“Those are 2D girls, and you are 3D. You can’t simply copy everything
they do! That’s just weird. You just need to get inspiration from them
without forcing it! That’s why I recommended it!”
“Huh?! I read through every doujinshi you gave me, like, ten times,
you know?! I even rehearsed my lines. And how expensive do you think
this wig was? These clothes are so stuffy I’m almost dying in here!”
Kokoro stood up, furious, and threw her wig to the floor.
Sheesh.
“It’s your fault for not teaching me right. Tell me what I’m supposed to do to become an ideal girl!”
“Uh...?”
“You promised me you’d make me into the perfect otaku girlfriend!”
Why was I, Kagetora Ichigaya, living together with Kokoro Nishina, a
popular gyaru (and otaku) girl from my school? Well, it’s a long story...
Chapter 2
“I hope I have the right place...” I whispered to myself.
There was a long line of people in front of that Akihabara karaoke
shop, full of both girls and boys who looked older than me. Many of them
were talking to each other, and I realized that most people had probably
brought friends along. Having come alone, I considered coming up with an
excuse to go back home, but I remembered that same-day cancellations
weren’t allowed.
So I, Kagetora Ichigaya, got in line too.
The event I was going to attend was called the “Otaku Meetup &
Matchmaking Party.” My reason for going there was obvious: I wanted an
otaku girlfriend.
I became an otaku back in grade school and, since then, have only had
eyes for fictional girls. However, in middle school, I started watching a lot
of rom-com anime and, also because of that, started wishing I had a real
girlfriend. Of course, I couldn’t just date anyone. She’d have to be an
otaku too.
If I were a more casual otaku, just watching anime every now and then,
any old girlfriend wouldn’t be an issue. But someone like me, who spent
considerable amounts of time and money on gacha games and anime swag,
needed a girlfriend who could match his power level.
Then we’d be able to watch anime together, have fun singing karaoke,
and maybe she’d even cosplay my favorite characters for me. That’s why I
needed an otaku girlfriend.
Unfortunately, there was no one who fit the bill at my school. The girls
in the manga club weren’t really my type, and they probably didn’t like the
same stuff as me anyway.
I was into works full of cute girls, but they were more into anime with
sparkly dudes, Boys’ Love (yuck), and girly gacha games. I didn’t
eavesdrop on them, but they always talked so loudly that I was forced to
listen.
Since the situation at school was like that, I’d looked online for another
way to find my ideal girlfriend. That’s how I found out about the “Otaku
Meetup & Matchmaking Party.” ook for friends and dates with similar interests. Minors couldn’t usually
join this kind of thing, but no alcohol was being served, so there was no
age restriction in place.
The party would be in a large karaoke room with a standing buffet,
where all the attendees could get unlimited drinks. Reading about it, I’d
been excited to turn up.
If possible, I’d wanted someone I knew to come with me, but my only
otaku friend from school said he wasn’t interested, so I had to suck it up
and go by myself.
This is a huge chance for me. It’s no time to be scared! I promised
myself that I’d find the ideal otaku girl and get her number! I clenched my
fists and mustered up all of my courage.
When it was my turn to enter the room, the staff greeted me.
“Hello! Let me check your reservation. One man, no women. Correct?”
I paid the three thousand yen admission fee and received a name tag.
The name I wrote on it was what I’d be called for the duration of that day.
What should I choose?
After thinking for a while, I wrote the handle I used online,
ShadowTiger, and pinned the tag on my chest.
I was too caught up in my nervousness to take in the people around me,
but now I noticed just how many there were. There were barely any
couples, though the party had only just started.
I wonder if there’s a girl my type; long black hair... pure, feminine
looks...
I opened my eyes wide and scanned the room. All of the girls are kind
of meh.
“The bar is now open for orders!” called one of the staff members,
directing us to the counter.
During the short time I’d spent checking out the girls, several boy-girl
pairs had already formed.
I have to hurry up and find a cute girl!
Unfortunately, all the decent girls were already busy chatting with
other guys. Ugh! Too late!
I looked even harder, trying to find someone who was still free. In a
corner of the room, I saw two average-looking girls silently staring at their
phones. They weren’t exactly my type, but I realized that if I kept
nitpicking, there’d be no one left for me to talk with. That was the one outcome I had to avoid at all costs, so I started walking toward them.
However, just a few steps away, I stopped dead. My legs wouldn’t
move any further.
What am I even supposed to say to them? “Hi, where are you from?”
No way! That’d be just like trying to pick them up!
As I imagined a conversation with them, a realization dawned on me.
I’m no good at talking to girls, am I?
I couldn’t even approach girls at school. Being alone in an unfamiliar
place made it even more difficult. Impossible, actually.
Why did I think I could do this? What the hell was I thinking when I
signed up for this party?
I probably thought that I just needed to show up and things would
magically turn out fine. Maybe someone would even talk to me first, or I’d
be able to find a reason to go up to them.
As if. I always convince myself that I can do things that are clearly
impossible. It’s a bad habit of mine. I should stop fooling myself.
Sighing, I made up my mind. Enough. Time to leave.
I’d signed up for the party, came all the way here, lined up, and
actually entered the joint. That was a feat in itself for an asocial otaku like
me. Well done, Kagetora.
If I didn’t reassure myself like that, I’d probably start crying. In order
to pay the entrance fee, I’d had to sacrifice a considerable amount of my
gacha funds and lunch money. Not to mention, I’d wasted a whole day off
school.
But I’d rather blow three thousand yen than have to spend one more
minute in this place.
I started walking—almost running, actually—toward the exit, when...
“Ouch!”
“Ah! I’m sorry!”
I bumped into a girl.
I continued to apologize while I turned to look at her, then froze in
place, shocked.
“What...?!”
I’d seen her before.
No wonder I’d seen her, since we went to the same school. I’d never
spoken with her, but she was in the same year as me, and her class was
right next to mine.
What is she doing here?!
Kokoro Nishina. She was so popular that I knew her name even though
we were in different classes. She’d stood out from the very first day of
school.
Kokoro had a lot of friends and looked like she’d seen her fair share of
guys’ bedrooms. Most of the popular boys were into her. However, except
for her clothing and hairstyle, she was actually a diligent student with
decent grades. Or at least, so I’d heard.
I took a good look at her. Dyed hair. A short, red dress that revealed her
shoulders. High heels. Large earrings. Makeup that even I, who didn’t
know the first thing about makeup, could tell was flashy. You would never
expect a girl that looked like this to show up to a party aimed at otaku. So
why was Kokoro Nishina, renowned popular girl and normie
extraordinaire, attending a party like this?
I looked at her face again and noticed she’d turned terribly pale.
“You seem familiar. Could you be... from school?” she asked me,
fumbling for words.
“Oh, Two-Heart-san! We found you!” a couple of men called out to
her. “You ran away like that, so we’d been looking for you!”
The approaching duo were as stereotypically otaku as you could get.
Their faces, their clothes, their rambling speech: they had it all (not that
I’m one to talk).
They kept creeping closer and closer to Kokoro, who looked clearly
distressed.
“Ah, s-sorry, I ran into an acquaintance, you see...” she said, grabbing
my arm.
“Huh?!”
“Acquaintance?” one of the two men asked.
“He’s a f-friend of mine... I need to talk with him. See you later!” she
said, successfully escaping the men while dragging me with her. I had no
idea what was going on.
My only experience with being touched by girls was when they
accidentally bumped into me on crowded trains. To be honest, having my
arm grabbed like that was enough to make my heart race. The sweet smell
that permeated the air around her (Shampoo? Perfume?) was making me
dizzy.
Kokoro left the two men hanging there, dragging me out of the karaoke
room and into the light of the stairway landing.
Once we were out of sight of everyone else, she stared up at me.
“I don’t know your name, but we go to the same school, right?” she
asked, still pale for some reason. “Why are you here?”
“I’m just here for the party. Why are you here? You aren’t even an
otaku,” I replied, annoyed at how she’d made it sound like I wasn’t
allowed to be there.
Now that I could take a better look at her, I understood why she was so
popular. Even in the first year of school, she was well-known for her good
looks and, sure enough, she was cute enough to be on TV.
Her face and body were close to perfection. Of course, so were her
outfit and hairstyle. I wasn’t exactly a fashion expert, but even I could tell
that she was on another level from most other girls at the party.
However, I wasn’t into gyaru or slutty-looking girls. I didn’t want
anything to do with them.
I never hid the fact that I was an otaku, which the gyaru in middle
school made fun of me and bullied me for. I was so traumatized that I’d
started avoiding social interaction altogether, sitting by myself in a corner
of the classroom trying not to be noticed by anyone.
That was why gyaru, no matter how cute they were, brought me
nothing but fear.
Kokoro Nishina, especially, was the exact opposite of my “long black
hair” and “pure, feminine looks” dream girl.
“For the party? Like, you want to meet otaku girls?” she asked me,
confused.
“Y-Yeah.”
“I see. So, you’re an otaku too,” she said, and her expression relaxed a
little bit.
Wait, what did she just say? You’re an otaku... too?
“I guess you do look like one,” she added after looking me up and
down.
“What?!”
What’s that supposed to mean?!
Her comment was rude and unwarranted. I’d done my best to clean up
for this party.
“More to the point, what are you doing here?!”
“That’s...” she dropped her gaze with a troubled expression.
After a moment, sighing deeply, Kokoro looked back at me as if she’d
found the courage to say something very important.
“Isn't the reason obvious? I want a boyfriend who's an Otako like me!”
