I never think to ask myself this question...... DO I LIKE HER?
I'm a girl; belongs from a simple middle class family. Girls like me have a lots of dreams, but we're inefficient to fulfill them. Our Conscience bother us to do something different, to be someone different.....
I'm one of them, who stop to dream, stop to think and let her flow away with the unkind fellowship.
We do it not because we want to but because that's all what we taught for years....... that we have to follow the rules, we have to be a common and normal person.....A so called on mask human.
I'm now 15 , not a adult yet. But I'm different than the society..... so I dare to ask myself the questions; questions about myself, my desires, my feelings...... And I found myself as a totally different person......
Its not a plot of Manga, not a fantasy story.....It's just all about me..... all about the people like us.....whose dara to ask themselves.....and have courage to accept that we're different and special....
So at last I ask myself , DO I LIKE HER?
It was not like that from the start.....and not easy either. We are friends for not long, maybe more than 3 or 4 years. And Best Friends for 2 or 3. But we never addressed our relations as Bff. We decided to not to give a name to this relation. So we are definitely friends, but not any kind or qualification determinate our friendship. We're so close to each other and like each others complementary.
We shear ours good and bads, smiles and pains and willingly to know the life through each other. So she was always my best budd.
But from a year, It's started to change. And as well as my thoughts and my feelings, towards her. I started to like her.
I was a straight, that what I thought.....but I was different than other, that I know somewhere in my deep down. I was always so comfortable with girls from the beginning. And unexpectedly I don't care about genders at all. I take every person as just a human being and all girls and boys as my age was my friends, nothing much.
I still remember, My first crush was my playmate. He was my neighbor too. And I was maybe 7 or 8 years old. I even didn't know what the meaning of like, love or crush....whatever. It's remain me , how childish I was.
And my second crush was a boy too. He was my batchmate and he was my first youth crush too. At that age, I was just started to blooming .I started to express my heart and feelings. And this person was in my heart for 3 months.....my longest crush ever.....
After that I totally off my self about those deep down stuffs and just tried to be a free girl. But.....as I say I was always different. In my youth I find out about my interest in homo relations......Even I'm still on my youth......
And now its been 4 months, and I realize that I have fall for her 2 years ago......And all those memories in my past , remind me how much I liked to be with her....My world is really a big void without her.....
But the journey wasn't easy........
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