I stood there looking at the view which my room provided me with.... The Paris skyline, lit with the colorful lights in the night, along with the starry heaven above, was the best view I had ever seen. I was living my life finally... away from all the drama my life had offered me a few years ago.

The view ahead of me, made me realize that I had taken the right decision in my life... that is when, I saw the billboard shine extravagantly with the neon lights, revealing the picture of the man I so hated.

It was an unwanted sight of an unwanted face.

Just his picture was enough to make me want to kill him. We were never in a relationship, but still, every time his name or any topic to do with him was raised, it angered me, more than before.

He just broke my heart.... Well, that is a polite way of saying what he did to me... he crushed it under his feet, till it had become like a fine powder, and then, scattered the powder everywhere.

I had learnt, over the years, to forget about him, but whenever anyone spoke about him, these feelings erupted out involuntarily and I could simply do nothing other than leave the room.

The picture on the billboard sent shivers down my spine, reminding me of the last words he told me- "Trust me... you feel you're getting away from this so called 'drama'... but just wait and watch mon amour... just wait and watch while you can, because sooner or later, you will find yourself in the same 'drama' and you will not be able to do anything about it."

Well ladies and gentlemen, I present to you- the one and only, Antoine Griezmann. The sweet, innocent, charismatic, chivalric, Antoine Griezmann that the world portraits and believes him to be...

The Golden Boy of France ...

Ha, MY FOOT!

Wondering why I am this pissed, even though he was not in a relationship with me? Well what can I say ... you do expect your best friend to support you, even if hell breaks out. I thought he would be there for me when I needed him the most, but instead, he flipped out, and said that to me the last time we spoke, and just abruptly left my house, slamming the door behind him.

The problem which caused this strain in our friendship?

Multiple...now that I think of it.

But the one that finished us, was my decision to leave Madrid and settle in Boston, to finish my degree from Harvard.

For me, establishing myself was as important as keeping my relationships with my family, friends, especially him. Antoine was the most important person to me. He always stood up for me and believed in me. Hence, when he said that, it hurt me more than what one would feel when being stabbed multiple times in the heart.

I wondered how he was. I knew he was performing well on the pitch and I also knew that he was transferring to Atletico de Madrid. But knowing Antoine, I was concerned, because clearly, he was not a massive supporter of 'change'.

I never watched his games since I left Madrid, because of my stubbornness, but I had friends who were quite involved in La Liga or should I say, football in general. Some of them were aware of my situation with Antoine and hence, they would keep telling me the scores and jump up and down, specifically when Antoine scored. They even did his stupid celebratory dances.

I never showed any excitement because I always told them I was rooting for the other team.

However, deep within, I supported him and celebrated his victory because that's what good friends do. And after the gang would go home, I often found a smile on my face thinking about his goal.

My anger would be replaced by happiness, pride and satisfaction knowing that he had managed to live his dream. And that's when sorrow would engulf me into its arms and leave me with the thought- if only he felt the same way as I did.

And whether I liked or not, anger would once again fill my heart and so, the vicious cycle continued.

By now, this seemed as a shield that I had built for myself, to stop me from breaking down and present myself as a strong person to the world.

To be honest, though I said was angry, I really don't know if that is true....

It had been four years since that fight, and I didn't know if I wanted to linger this fight between us anymore. I wanted him to be a part of my life, especially when I had finally gotten what I wanted from life. Everything was in place except us.

Next morning, I ate my breakfast happily, while looking at the view outside my living room window yet again, and getting lost in pleasant thoughts that my mind offered to me. My roommate came running out of her room in her pj's and messy hair. She was shouting at the top of her voice and running helter-skelter.

"We are late! We have to go for the cake tasting or whatever we had planned today.", said Mary- my roommate/bff/oldest friend/my soul sister.

She knew everything about me and I knew everything about her. We had no secrets. She was getting married to her college sweetheart- Justin Beaumont. He was French. Hence, they were getting married in the very heart of France- Paris, the city of love.

Her words pulled me out of my thoughts. Soon we left the apartment and the stunning view to try different cakes. Even though it was not my wedding, I was super excited for Mary. Today, however, I was even more excited because finally I was getting to meet the best man... the person with whom I would walk down the aisle, as planned. He was going to meet us at the cake shop.

We reached there. It was a ridiculously small and old shop. But it was beautiful. It had flower pot hanging and lovely music playing. To top it all off, was the tantalizing smell of the baked goods in the shop. Preventing myself from getting weak at the knees because of the smell, I entered the shop, where Justin and his friend were already seated.

"There you are. I thought you guys got lost!", exclaimed Justin, laughing and getting up to greet the two of us, while we were mesmerised by the beauty of the shop.

He first greeted me and then, without any hesitation, stole a kiss from Mary. She smiled and went red. The site of this made me giggle. Sitting at the table meant for four, was another man, who I believe was the best man. I went over to greet him and take my seat next to him.

I extended a hand and said- "Hi, I am Veronica, the maid of...."

I stopped looking at the man in front of me. It was that same unwanted face which was trying to crawl its way back into my life.

Did I want him back? Did I want the drama that accompanied him?

That was all I could think of right now.

I wanted to face him, fix things with him, but the only thing that I was able to do was to slap him right across his perfect face, take an about turn and leave the shop, hoping to never see him again. I felt bad for doing this to Mary, but I couldn't stand being in the same room as him. Not now, not ever. It was, probably, for the best that we had never spoken again or met again because, it would have ended by killing one of us, for sure.

Hence, I had to get away from that unwanted face for my survival... for our individual survival.

Antoine's pov

Justin and I were waiting at the shop for the girls. I was indeed overly excited to meet the maid of honor, about whom Mary and Justin had spoken so highly about. The description of the lady reminded me of an old friend, who I had lost touch with. It was my fault now that I think of it. I should have been the kind of friend she expected me to be. She never failed me as a friend. But when the time came, I failed her, and instead of taking responsibility for my actions, I blamed her for it.

I regret saying those words to her when we last spoke. Because, if only I had known it was the last time I was going to see her, I would have told her a lot of things for which I had never gathered the courage to tell her.

It's not like I never tried to speak to her. Emails after emails... voice mails after voice mails... letters after letters...

She just never replied.

Days, filled with sleepless nights, became weeks, filled with pain. Weeks became months, filled with guilt and finally, these months paved the way for the darkness to reside within me for the rest of my life, and now I was filled with sheer regret.

Over the last four years, I had lost myself just as I had lost her. I did not know how to reverse what had happened. I could feel myself become more and more plastic by the second- fake from outside, hollow from within.

Some said it was the fame, but I knew it was not that. She and I often found ourselves criticize such "plasticky" people. But now I had become one of them. I needed her, but I didn't try and to speak to her again because I feared the same old rejection that I had faced four years ago.

She was justified in not answering back. I felt selfish to have wanted her to leave everything just because I was aware that I was completely dependent on her and would get lost if she went away. I guess, my worst nightmare did come true.

How could I ever speak to her? What would I even say? I didn't deserve her forgiveness. Its true when they say you can't hurt somebody that you don't love... you just can't.

I loved her. I love her. And I will always love her. And not just as my best friend, but as somebody I would want to spend the rest of my life with, have a family with, grow old with. But then some dreams just never come true.

Anyways, as I said, I was very excited to meet this woman who I had heard so much about. The chiming of the bell made me realize the door had opened but I was too busy to look up because I was stuffing myself with pastries. I could sense Justin get up and greet someone and hence, I just assumed, it was the to be bride and the much-awaited maid of honour, who, I remember, was described to me as "breathtakingly beautiful". I didn't stop doing what I was doing as the smell and taste of the pastries had held me in a trance. I would definitely marry this pastry if I could.

Pulling me out of my trance, was a beautiful voice, which sounded extremely familiar.

I hope she is not who I think she is, I thought to myself and crossed my fingers.

I heard the voice say- "Hi" to Justin and giggle in a very musical and rhythmic way. I was too scared to turn and look behind at her face, knowing that it would be the girl from my past who I could never stop thinking about, and her presence was enough to cause all my feelings of guilt to burst out. My heart stopped beating. I could feel the tension building up within me. The blood from my face slowly crept away leaving me as white as snow.

What should I do? I thought further. Probably, it would be best if I run away.

I just could not face her after all I had done to her. I couldn't compose myself or put up the fake appearance that I had mastered by now. I couldn't hurt her more. I couldn't harm myself anymore. I love her and that was all I knew. I wanted to get her back, but the real question was HOW?

Though I was lost in my plans of redemption, I could feel her walk up to me. The fear prevented me from looking up and meeting her eyes. The lady stretched out her hand and said- "Hi, I am Veronica...." It's from here on that my senses failed, and my world seemed to be crumbling apart. I didn't bother to hear the rest of her sentence. Just the name she had uttered from her mouth had caused a panic inside me and I felt as if my systems were shutting.

I looked at her hand blankly, allowing my ridiculous thoughts to take over me.

Did I just hear the name Veronica? As in Veronica Stevens? That cant be possible! She could never forget me! Or could she? Or worse, had she forgotten me?

I didn't need these thoughts right now. I needed to find the courage to get her back and fix the things between us. But just her name got me tongue tied and frozen. I looked up to just confirm whether I had guessed the person correctly.

And that's when our eyes met.

I wished to look at them for a longer time because they always had a way of calming me down, but even before I could think about it, I was greeted with a tight slap across my face. By the time I recovered for this extravagant and unique greeting, Veronica had walked out of the shop. And the timing of the paparazzi was just impeccable. They took snaps from every possible angle and I could literally hear their thoughts about the headlines on tomorrows news paper and how they would present this spicy incident in their gelignite article.

Veronica didn't seem to care about the press because she stopped a cab, sat in it, and drove away.

I wanted to stop her, but the flashes had blinded me. I did nothing but stood there, realizing for the first time that the distance that had developed between the two of us was unrepairable, irreversible.

I had finally realised I had lost her forever.

The part of me that clung to the thought of us being together again, with hope of revival, had also vanished after this incident.

I had successfully lost myself, allowing every single bit of my existence to be overtaken by the rapidly growing darkness within me.

There was nothing left that could be mended.

It was over.

I came back to the house, which now seemed bigger and emptier than it was.

Everything that seemed to be right in my life, no longer felt that way. I found myself looking at the same view that I was observing last night and today morning.

Nothing had changed in the view. The buildings stood in the same place as they were last night... the cars moved around in the same way... the birds were flying in the same way... Yet, I was not being able to derive the happiness that it provided me 2 hours ago.

The noise of the children laughing, as they returned from school, irritated me. I could not stand any kind of noise. Hence, I shut the glass windows. It cut out the noise, but it just made me more agitated because I could not bear the silence even more.

I didn't know what to do, where to go. I wanted to get far away from him because staying with him would mean more drama and I could not live with drama any more.

Flustered and confused, I felt tears roll down my eyes. It was the first time since that fight that I had cried. I wanted to stop crying but I couldn't. I told myself that I was stronger than this, but was I?

Was he right when he said those words to me?

Did I want drama?

Did I want him to be a part of my life?

No, I told myself, not in a million life times.

But doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?

We were young and irrational back then. Things may turn out differently than they did the last time. And it was possible that I would get back my best friend who meant everything to me. Probably , I was over thinking this. Probably, it was quite a simple problem to deal with. I should not let my emotions get the better of me.

I wanted to fix things. I wanted to start from scratch. But ...

What if he was right?

What if he hadn't changed a bit?

What if he managed to break even this stronger version of me?

What if he doesn't deserve a second chance?

Tears continued to roll down my eyes, more vigorously than before. They just wouldn't stop until I heard the telephone ring. I wiped my tears, cleared my voice, pulled myself together, and picked up the telephone using all the strength and might that was left in me.

It wasn't a surprise to me to hear Mary's furious voice on the other side of the call.

"You've got to have guts to slap Antoine in front of everyone and walk out so casually. Don't you dare say sorry. I know you have your issues with him but that is no way to behave. Trust me your actions have just proven that your no different than him. "

I know I had hurt Mary and I felt terrible. I did not know what to tell her. There was no excuse for what I had done. The issue had happened 4 years ago and I was still holding on to it. The only thing that could manage to communicate were my sobs.

Mary must have freaked out listening to it because her voice no longer showed her anger. Instead it was softer and it showed the concern that she had.

"Are you all right? I'm sorry I said that. Please don't take it to your heart. You know I didn't mean it."

"I don't know what to do Mary? I don't know why I still feel this way. It's not like I still love him. I mean, those feelings are way past me. Then why do I still feel this way?"

"It's because... I hate to break this to you but.... you can never forget your first love no matter how much you try... and the pain caused by it is worse than dying.

The pain doesn't kill you but it does alter you.

So much so, that you can't control the alterations it makes to yourself, leaving you unrecognisable.

You should have told him when you had the time.

Now this anger that you feel, this confusion in you, is the way your heart is punishing you because you let it regret by not confessing to him. Its never going to leave you. Its now a part of you. Forever.

So, I suggest, either lock it up forever and remain silent about it or be strong and bold enough to face it.

You want to take risks right, in life, well then here's a risk. Take it or leave it. The three of us are coming home in twenty. Make your choice now."

She hung up the phone but left me thinking.

I hit the shower, put on fresh clothes, quickly fixed the house which was in a mess.

I opened the shut window and found the view outside looking absolutely beautiful once again.

The doorbell rang and I opened the door.

It wasn't the group of three that I expected, but only one of the three- Antoine.

He stood there saying nothing, but I could see the tears in his eyes. I could see the tear stains on his cheek. I could see how lost his blue eyes were. I could see he needed me more than I needed him. He looked at me as if I was the only one who could have blessed him with life and living.

I said nothing. The only thing that spoke were our eyes and the pain in them, that came down in the form of tears. Silence was all we could offer to each other.

The emotions had taken control of our actions, for I found myself run up to him and hug him tightly as though my life rested in him and he did the same.

He whispered in my ears- "I missed you mon amour. I don't deserve your forgiv......"

"shhh... I missed you too mon amour... DON'T EVER LET ME GO AGAIN.", I said, almost threatening him.

He laughed a little through his sobs, which were no longer filled with pain. I welcomed him in the house and that's when the other two members of our group joined. We sat there laughing and catching up with each other. Everything seemed perfect now- the view, the tea, the music which Justin played from his phone and the company. Everything seemed complete.

Except for the one thought-

do you still love him?

I was unsure... but as of now, I just wished to enjoy this beautiful moment which had managed to bring that lost happiness back in my life.